Age 56. Can't be arsed at work anymore.

I have just had to do one of those and in the examples it is always a man harrassing a woman. I feel so deflated that they try to create the illusion that men and women are treated the same concerning everything else in the workplace and then I have to do such a BS course as a woman because MEN need that sort of training. It's disgusting.

I'm the same age (ish) to you. I hate to say "at our age" but I'm going to...at our age I've found time and years to go by so quickly...4 years really will go by and you will have survived it. I know it's hard in a job you probably hate or have to stay in for the money and/or benefits....but even if you can't move jobs, start planning now,start romanticising what you can do with your life in 4 years.

I fought for years with managers and supervisors that I no longer wanted to climb the ladder, attend courses, mentor, whatever, whatever and tbh all it did was give me a bad name. Whilst I'd like to say "at my age" I didn't care...I did! I haven't worked hard and diligently so, to have that said about me ...so just keeping quiet was the better option. I also went with the not seen or heard option...whilst I never socialised with my colleagues...ever...I also stopped going in the staffroom at lunch, I'd sit in meetings in the back and say nothing, I'd arrive on time and leave on time...all quiet quitting I suppose. And it worked for me ..the excited puppies didn't even notice, just gave them more space and platform I suppose.

You'll be fine, 4 years seems a long time today and you'll look back in 4 years and think where did the time go.

Try and go to 4 days. It's a good interim move.

I ended up bounced into retirement early than expected due to a period of poor health. I was going to temp for a bit. I'd done it before and enjoyed it - if you are halfway competent everyone loves you but the pandemic put paid to that for various reasons and I've never done paid work again.

It wasn't so much youth and enthusiasm that got me - that's refreshing. I've always loved learning new things, particularly technology so, far from being a dinosaur, my young manager used me as her sounding board when we had to work out how to do anything new. I was given a split role part of which focused on developing new initiatives, etc. That was all great.

However, there is an issue with having a bias in the team for people who are highly ambitious which does come with youth. In my experience it was their burning desire to be 'seen' and to impress the higher ups. This led to a whole pile of unnecessary 'busyness' just for show. Worse, it led to putting up their hands for activities which weren't actually part of our team's specific remit and setting completely unrealistic objectives just to impress the CEO. Then you'd get other ambitious members of the team cheerleading on it as being seen as enthusiastic was everything.

Thing is, they didn't seem to care so much about delivering and generally came up with a reason why it wasn't their fault. They just cared about talking a good talk. The people who cared more about their reputation for delivering burnt out.

This is why, if I ever hear anyone mention the words 'let's have a quick team meeting' on a TV programme or whatever, my left eye still starts to twitch.

I've just been reminded to sign up for a sexual harassment workshop. I really really don't need to be told how to not sexually harass anyone!

Hello, I've only read your OP but there was a long and interesting thread on this a while ago, loads of us feel the same. I am the same age and basically do what I need to do, nod and smile and just try not to get too wound up by the wheel being reinvented and by 20 somethings thinking they know it all. When they most definitely do not!

Absolutely this. I couldn’t give a toss if I’m ‘misgendered’ I’d laugh but I care very much about safeguarding and the erosion of women’s rights to pander to a misogynistic and homophobic ideology.

I’ve had to fight against sexism and misogyny all my life in a male dominated industry. Ill be equally polite and respectful to everyone, in and out of work but I’ll be damned if I’m going to roll over to pacify entitled men again.

I get less of that thankfully and hardly ever meet the one person whose ego is ridiculous.

Working from home at least part of the week does mean less of the people who you would never choose to be with in anything outside work.

I'm in tech, think California based global, senior and well paid and 53.

I don't do pronouns or engage in any nonsense because IDGAF

It's mainly irrelevant to my team and the results we drive.

Yep! 56 here too and think my eye rolling at work must be audible by now 😂 topping up my pension as much as I can, and planning to start reducing my hours once DS graduates and is hopefully self sufficient next year. Probably unlikely to retire fully for a good few years yet but hoping part time will be better x

I used to feel this way in my forties. Then I took a new job and it's revitalised my interest in work. Maybe switch it up and try something different?

I absolutely hear you, OP.
Make sure you have as much as possible for your retirement, you don't have to be fucking enthusiastic.
My enthusiasm (not work related) left me at the age of 42.
🍀

I’m in my 30s. Just had first child.

A lot of women in my baby group are giving up work because there’s either:

• No childcare
• Expensive childcare that outstrips their wage or leaves them barely any profit

A lot of women in my age group aren’t feeling fulfilled by work anymore and would rather raise their kids. For our generation, what’s really the point? Most of us can’t afford houses or more than one kid so work feels fairly futile and just something we have to do for barely any reward.

My mum died just before she retired. She was looking forward to having free time and doing lots of things. My dad is 88 and is super fit, a sportsman, but I noticed that after 80 he didn’t want to go anywhere outside his town. He wants to live in a bubble and just go about his day.

To me, after 80, you can’t do much whether that’s poor health, or it’s just too much of a faff to go on planes and travel. That leaves 67-80, just over 10 years to do stuff. I also notice my late 70’s/ early 80’s healthy PIL can’t do things that involve lots of mobility.

So, f*ck that. I’m not waiting till late 60’s to retire. I work p/t now and I do my hobbies. I’m not working till I drop. I’ll keep it up as long as I can. If I get past retirement age and can still work, I’ll stay, if it suits me.

Know your rights as you age. Some of my colleagues are 70’s and my company is always having chats with them encouraging them to leave, and they stubbornly tell them to get stuffed. Good for them! Some of my other colleagues around retirement age took voluntary redundancy and got a massive wad after being there decades.

Do your job, and do it well, but know your rights. Don’t be bullied by ageist companies, know your policies, make notes of anything they say to you. Cover your own back, and make sure your employment is protected. You don’t owe them anything.

I'm not dissing this, it seems like a great idea for many. But my hobbies wont generate income, I have no other interests in anything that possibly could generate income.
I've changed jobs, I'm school adjacent now with all the holidays that brings. I do love this job but it's part time and not the greatest money. It's enough but I'll be waiting til state pension age to retire as theres not much left to sock away for early retirement.

Nothing really floats my boat. I just want to quit working altogether. Like many it seems.

I am also wondering if menopause starts way way earlier than we realise. Given my symptoms started in my mid 30s, but it never occurred to me it could be menopause. In fact I wasn't diagnosed til mid 40s. I'm not sure that drs will even look for menopausal symptoms before about the age of 45. But all my symptoms went away with the first tranche of HRT. They came back pretty soon, but then I changed brand and then that brand was no longer available and on and on until finally at 53 my periods stopped and most but not all symptoms left me.

Not bothered by anyone claiming to be a woman or non binary to access female spaces, but bothered by the plural of guy which by definition means a group of people regardless of sex.

Smile and nod. They are young and full of passion for their chosen career. Much as you probably were once. Let them have their time!
But ultimately smile and nod and enjoy knowing you can do your job with your eyes closed.
Enjoy these years and don’t wish them away either.

I was also losing my job because of a restructure and that was a huge factor in deciding to rake the voluntary early exit package at 58. Another factor was that menopause hit like a train mentally from the age of fifty!

I'm 54 and for me it's partly been an existential/spiritual change of mindset. I saw my DM and FIL die recently, and thought what's it all about, really? It sure as shit isn't corporate twattery and team building nonsense.
To be honest, though, I was quite eye-rolly about such things in my 20s too..

Absolutely 💯 👏👏👏👏

Yes - just go in, do what you are paid to do (which won’t include being enthusiastic) and go home. Don’t give them anything more - it is never appreciated in the end. we’re currently going through a restructure at work and my manager is losing his job. He’s been in the post ten years but has probably given them a couple more in terms of all the unpaid hours he’s done evenings and weekends. He doesn’t seem to have a life outside of work as is so keen to do a fantastic job. I feel sorry for him now, tossed to the side without any thanks. What a waste of time
Can you go part time?

@EdithBond why would I want to draw attention to the fact that I am female when it has been shown that women are taken less seriously? Look up the case where a male colleague took over his female colleagues email account for a week and was astounded at the difference in reactions.

i have one of those unisex names, and have been mis-sexed over email many times. I don’t care, I’m trying to get a job done. I will treat every single one of my colleagues and clients with the same courtesy, dignity and respect. No one group is more “special” than the other.

I mean, I remember in my 20s and people complained those in their 50s and 60s were just coasting and slacking and were told it was ageism.
As you can see in this thread (and my own experience now I'm 50) it's reality.
I don't have the energy or the give-a-shit attitude I had when younger.
That's why it's harder for people in their 50s to get jobs, but we're told it's ageism.
EDIT: on the other hand I've worked with people still going into their 70s and they are as enthusiastic as ever.

Also this. My parents have been in decline since 68, now pretty much immobile. Go nowhere, do nothing

I am in this age group and contemplating re starting work. What a mess this country is in.

YANBU. The thought of potentially another 21 years of work just makes me feel exhausted. I'm turning 50 soon and can't believe there's so much working life still ahead of me. Well, unless I die first obvs.