Age 56. Can't be arsed at work anymore.

This! This is what I did, leaving at 56, but I also had the backup of 2 years' redundancy pay and could take my occupational pension at 60.

You need to look very, very carefully at the finances though - being skint would be far worse than fed up with work.

A new business usually takes at least 6 months to start bringing in any sort of income.

You obvs have v strong views about it. I respect that, though disagree with you. I don’t give a shit what people prefer to be called. It doesn’t affect me. I only care about making sure they feel comfortable by being respectful and kind.

For example, I object to being referred to as a ‘guy’ (‘you guys’) because I’m a woman, not a guy. A man would probably object to being called the equivalent of a ‘gal’ (you gals’). But (for me) ‘guys’ is worse, as it assume the patriarchal male. When people refer to me as a guy, I sometimes politely explain I’m not a guy and find it sexist. But it is tiresome. Sometimes (when said rather than written), I let it go, so as not to appear uptight or cause discomfort to others, but it makes me uncomfortable. Just like ‘chairman’ or ‘workman’.

Who actually benefits are the minority of people who don’t see themselves as ‘she/her’ but you or others might assume they do and refer to them at work in that way. It prevents them having to explain over and over. All this must be in the training you’ve received and you still don’t agree. Your choice. But it must be tough working for an employer if you don’t share their values.

I don’t think age is the main factor in this, as lots of older people embrace using clarifying pronouns. It’s more resistance to change due to ideology. When I first started in the workplace, there were people who were resistant to me receiving equal pay when I did the same job as men (as they were the ‘main breadwinners’); to calling me ‘Ms’ rather than ‘Miss’; and people who couldn’t understand why I objected to sexualised dress codes or men’s ‘wandering hands’ and other sexual harassment. Because ‘most people’ didn’t mind and it was just the way things were. I’ve had to fight to be treated with respect and fairness. Most people of that ilk have retired now.

I agree.

And by the time most of us get to this age we are also often bogged down with caring for elderlies, sometimes still with DC at home, it is hard to stay enthused when you haven't got the capacity.

Me too. Mid-50s and exhausted by menopause, caring for elderly parents and a sick DH. The amount of brain space I have left for work is very small. Ironically I’m the most senior I’ve ever been in my career and on the highest salary. Luckily my boss understands that I just want to do a good job and avoid the corporate bullshit and that I’m not looking for promotion or more responsibilities. I don’t volunteer for initiatives even if they look interesting as I think the younger and less experienced team members would appreciate the opportunity more. I had some great mentors of my age when I was younger and I try and pay it forward now.

Ive also been disappointed when surviving rounds of redundancy. Apparently my wide experience and range of skills means I’m more valuable to my boss as I can cover all the jobs the team does as it shrinks, whereas others have specialised in only one role.

I’m fortunate in having some company pensions that I could take if I retired early - DH and I could survive until 67 with very careful budgeting. However my desire to do more than survive on retirement is keeping me working to build up a bit more buffer. Knowing the mortgage is already paid off and we do have options does help get through the times when it feels a bit relentless.

I’m 59 and wish I had a job!

I was quite well off and left work when I had my DC at 43 and hoped to have a couple of years of being a SAHM and then it all went rapidly downhill.

DH had a cancer diagnosis and left work due to ill health. We then moved to a cheaper rural area so we could buy a house outright with no mortgage. We live on DH’s work pension and very frugally.

I had a specialist job in a niche industry and the nearest similar employer is a 90 min drive away so that won’t work as DH doesn’t drive (sight problems) and I still need to do the school run.

I’m too old to retrain and employers are not interested in employing a fat middle age woman when they can have a cheaper attractive youngster on display. 😢

I haven’t got enough NI contributions for a full pension and so if my DH dies first, I’ll have to drive off a cliff as I won’t be able to afford to live on the reduced pension.

The future is looking shit frankly! 😳

At least you're being honest about it, so many of your generation aren't because they're too busy trying to point the finger at the younger.

i see this from both sides currently.

My DD is an eager young puppy - recently recruited to a Systems Management and Implementation role. She is so enthusiastic about all the great changes that are afoot but constantly frustrated by older, more established staff, even the directors that appointed her, resisting change and wanting to carry on with the old ways.

DH OTOH has worked very successfully in the same industry for decades. He is in his 60s and insists on making all his notes and calculations in paper, not using the software designed for it. His job involves writing contracts and he still writes these with a fountain pen in big ledgers before eventually typing them into word. He refuses to go to team meetings saying people will tell him what's important. It's a very specialised role and he is resisting training up his agreed successor for the day he eventually retires. He's a lovely man personally but very resistant to change at work and at home. He must drive his younger colleagues and managers absolutely insane.

Also this. My parents have been in decline since 68, now pretty much immobile. Go nowhere, do nothing.

i want at least 10 good years to spend travelling and enjoying life with my husband after the kids have left home.

You need time, money and a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Your current situation isn't giving that. But stopping work unless you have a ton of savings won't give you that either.

Start your own business. Run it while you're still working then you can make the transition to being fully self employed after retirement (or earlier). Doing your own thing, a thing you enjoy, take it or leave it, be the one they need - I LOVE IT.

This: the office environment and bad management.

Add to that any lack of thanks/appreciation or just a tiny bit of recognition that you make their lives easier.

And the egos, huge egos.

My solution at 57 was to take a buy out, and we also saw a financial planner for many years, so I knew it was OK to retire. You probably have done this, but a financial planner will really help you see when you can leave your job and what your retirement might be like. The last two years at work, I worked hard, but I had a game plan when I could retire, and that helped a lot.

Look for another job that you might enjoy more?

God I hate it. I'm 62 and have to grin and bear but I absolutely refuse to go on any team building away days, that's just one step too far.
Only another 5 years to go. Same old shit for the past 45 years.

Depends what work you do as well. I am sat on my bum all day in a nice warm office or at home. It beats working for a living. Yes it can be stressful, but it's not back-breaking.

I come from a long line of manual workers who survived to tell the tale, back when there was no such thing as retirement.

I'm 43 and feel like this. I did wonder if just a small change in job will bring me to life again. The 'problem' is I earn well and have shares which are going to be life changing one day, so I cannot leave my company. I could not find a job at another company at the same base salary without significantly more responsibility. Money is not everything etc. but I don't agree with this much. It is very important and even if I get ill I will be better off for having earned well in the past.

My personal life is a bit dull as well, so I am wondering if I just find a nice hobby or volunteer somewhere and then work will be a place to rest. I feel like a 59 year old would think like this as they prepare for retirement and I am only 43.

You make sharp distinctions, don’t you, @PumpkinsAndCoconuts?
more experienced workers’ knowledge with younger workers’ energy and enthusiasm.
Younger workers don’t necessarily lack knowledge [just experience] and older workers don’t necessarily lack energy and enthusiasm.
Luckily I worked in a department with a mixture of generations whose opinions were sought, discussed fully, valued, and adopted when considered beneficial. It seems to me you have experienced the same but neither of us can vouch for the generations who came before OP, can we?
It was the full-of-themselves, newly promoted, inexperienced gobshites who pissed me and those 20 years younger off when they addressed the whole organisation and made mandatory their nouveaux initiatives which weren’t nouveaux at all. That’s when the ciiircles completed for me and retirement beckoned.

People would like some time to slow down and enjoy life before they die or become infirm, after a lifetime of hard work.

This is partially it. I watched my parents both decline after 75. All the plans they had washed away overnight. I do not want to retire officially at 68 and only have 7 good years. I want more.

They worked hard, did the right thing and were promised a good retirement. In reality by the time they got there, they did not even have a free tv license.

Find a hobby, something to look forward every day, a treat after work, listen to
music, yoga, meditation, whatever make you happy. 4 years will go quickly

I work in a place where I am one of the younger ones at 49. It helps 😆

Absolutely!
Only one of my parents lived to state retirement age, and that was only just. I really resent the thought that I need to have some good luck and outlive them both to have any sort of retirement.

Your post made me snort loudly on the train on my commute so thank you!! A couple of years ago I changed from private to public sector and whilst I love my job the constant and wasteful change mgt progs combined with fast streamers with zero experience constantly telling you how amazing they are and how lucky we are to have them you whilst throwing you under the bus to get what they want is frankly exhausting. I keep going knowing that they will move on soon and become someone else's problem before suddenly 'leaving the business' without explanation when they monumentally screw up!

But that doesn’t negate my statement about this situation being quite cyclical.

OP was once bright-eyed and bushy-tailed with „new“ ideas. Some of those ideas were probably good and might have been successful if the older people she used to with (aka the 50-60 yo coworkers) would have supported them.

Now she’s the 50-60 yo coworker faced with bright-eyed and energetic young people.

I have felt like this since my 40s (I am 53).

I went part-time due to long term health issues which means that at least I have a good work life balance.

But I am looking at going freelance/starting a small business so I can check out of the office politics, endless meetings and being treated poorly by my employer due to my long term health condition..

In the meantime I just 'quiet quit' and do the minimum and work from home most of the time.

It is not working in itself that bothers me, it is the office environment and crap management.

If i go along with announcing “my” pronouns I’m basically saying I agree that people get to choose what sex they are - and I don’t agree with that and I think supporting that idea is causing massive harm. On top of that, I don’t support the idea that people have to use the pronouns they are told to even if that goes against what they clearly perceive, or else get into trouble- as has repeatedly happened. What about people with autism, learning disabilities, dementia, English as a second language, visual impairment etc? It’s discriminatory to all of them because they could unintentionally use the “wrong” pronouns and get hauled over the coals. I’m not being part of that. I don’t have a fit if some one mis-sexes me and I think it’s narcissistic and controlling for people to try to control others in that way.

Can you discuss this with your employer? I feel exactly the same (at 55). I have calmly explained that I know the value my contribution makes, that I keep up to date with developments that are role-specific or organisational. I am happy to not have regular 1:1s, but provide a regular update on what I am achieving and where the challenges are. I will complete role-specific or statutory training, but otherwise leave me alone in my corner to crack on with my job.

i appreciate this isn’t possible in all organisations and that this relates very much to ‘office’-based work. But in these roles, it may be possible for others.