To want DH to say yes to a cat!

Replace cat with rat/ferrit/snake.

He doesn’t want a cat. End of discussion.

If a member of my family brought a rat into my house after I’d said no they would have two choices.

Get rid of the rat, or move out.

That is such an irresponsible comment

Shudder

There is no way I could live with a cat

Would you let your children and husband outvote you to have another baby? If you felt absolutely against having a baby but your husband and kids really wanted another one, would you go along with that because your household is apparently a democracy? If your DH and kids wanted to uproot your life and move to Australia because they loved the outdoors and beaches and it’d be an amazing opportunity blah blah blah but you loved your life here and would be heartbroken to move, would you do it because you were outvoted?

To me a dog or cat is that level of magnitude a decision. That is how strongly I don’t want one, for no “good reason” other than I don’t want one.

I barely let my kids vote on which restaurant we go to or which film we watch, I’m certainly not giving them power to vote me into living with, paying for and inevitably looking after an animal I don’t want in my home for the next twenty years.

LTB, get the cat!

seriously, could you not get him to agree to a cat provided you take care? Ours is an outdoor, won't use the litter tray. there is no smell, mess or anything. just a purry little thing we love to bits. unless you are allergic, he wouldn't bother a soul. What are his objections exactly?

I think I would just get one.

Because it's a pet, another life to take care of, another expense. Every single person has to be in agreement with these decisions. It is not fair to force such a big commitment on somebody if they don't want it.

I get to veto the whole family’s desire for a dog. I don’t want to look after it, walk it, clean up after it, pay for its vet expenses, curtail time out of the house for its sake, pay for kennels or only go to dog-friendly destinations. Those are things that would have a measurable negative impact on my life, regardless of everyone else protesting otherwise. I get a veto.

On the surface it might appear that he is being selfish. I think an animal should only be brought into the home if everyone wants it. You say it’s only a cat but it makes a dramatic change to the whole environment. The fur, the litter, the smell of the food, I would cry if my home was full of something I did not want. It is no exaggeration to say I feel my home would be violated. A cat is a presence in every room. No escape in what should be my safe place.

i don’t expect your DH feels as strongly, but I suggest you think about what is the worst animal.you could think of. Imagine that in your home.

It is good for children to learn to consider the feelings of others before their own.

Why does he get to veto the whole family? I think it’s voting time….

my dh wasn’t a cat person until he moved in with me. Now he adores them and is the official house cat slave

Unfortunately it’s going to be a no if you got one the first time it damaged anything like clawing at furniture and made the house smell by pissing you’d never hear the end of it

also there’s no guarantee that if you got a cat it would be this little joyous ball of fluff some can be nasty fuckers

unless your all on board drop it

My DH wasn't keen on a cat, kids and I said we'd deal with cleaning feeding etc and he wouldn't have to lift a finger. We got a kitten one weekend, he wasn't particularly impressed but went along with it.

Several years later I think the cat is DH's favourite member of the family and he's the one waiting on the cat hand and foot 😂

'Your kind of people' 😂.

I must've missed where the husband has said he dislikes cats.

The problem with your kind of people is that you fail to realise that not everybody is like you. They may be adorable creatures for you. Congratulations. But some individuals dislike them, and there is nothing wrong with it. We are not mean or bad people for that.
We just don't want a pet at home. It is really not difficult to understand.

YABU to have married him. ‘Must like cats’ was number one on my list of partner attributes.

I would get another husband.

Alternatively can you volunteer at a local cat rescue to get your cat fix? That might be a compromise and cheaper than divorce.

You know what, I'm not offering advice, I'm giving my opinion and my experience and empathising with the OP because it must be frustrating being married to someone so intransigent. He has unilaterally made a decision that affects the rest of his family on the grounds that he 'doesn't see the point'. He doesn't see the point but he's not willing to take on board that other people around him do.

I think yanbu, majority vote and pets are great for kids.

DH didn’t want a cat but I did so he did agree. He now loves the cat as much as I do, he mostly deals with the litter tray and feeds her as he’s retired and I work full time.

Our cat is amazing and no regrets from any of us.

Have to agree with this.

I don't like cats and wouldn't want one in my house. Especially when they bring in things like dead birds and mice. Ugh, no.

If somebody tried to force a pet on me that I didn't want I would genuinely consider leaving them.

Imagine any other situation on ask for forgiveness rather than permission.

Leave the bastard. Only half joking.

The cat distribution system needs to be in play.

Could you look after someone's cat while they are on holiday?

Or I could lend you mine, she is a complete tart when it comes to men.

What a disgraceful thread.
First of all, OP, if anyone is being selfish here, it's you. You can't impose the significant responsibility of pet ownership on someone else. No everybody has a passion for having to clean their shit and to pay all the extra costs involved in their care.
And then the other posters suggesting to get the cat anyway to cause a fait accompli situation. Well, what can I say ? Pathetic. Don't you think the animal will not notice that they are not liked?
If you so much are craving for a cat go and divorce your husband and get the bloody cat.
Well done for your husband for standing up to you.

No this would be really irresponsible.

I love cats and was brought up with them, we always had at least one cat. DH never had any pets, apart from a short lived goldfish! He is not particularly fond of either cats or dogs and I realised from early in our relationship that he would never want either. Fair enough. In any case we both worked FT so it probably wouldn't be fair.

When we had DD though it was clear she would love a pet and finally, when she was about 8, we got a pair of guinea pigs. DH eventually got quite fond of them and we ended up with guinea pigs for nearly 10 years after that.

We are now retired and, although we have more time, he is no nearer to wanting a cat or dog. I have accepted it. But. Recent twist! Adult DD, who now has a home of her own, has decided to get a cat. I have pointed out to DH that this means when she comes to visit she will have to bring it with her, we might even have a cat to stay this Christmas. If she goes on holiday then we will be looking after it for her. He seems to have taken this on board so 🤞

My DH actually loves cats and adored our two (they died aged 15). But absolutely insists he won't have any more. His objections are partly about money and the cat damaging furniture/flooring etc. (Though partly I think he doesn't want to go through the emotional trauma of losing them again). Teen kids and I are desperate for a cat. Given that he actually loves cats I sometimes think we should go behind his back. But then I think every time the cat costs money or causes damage it'll be my fault and he'll be pissy about it.

No means no.

Post that your husband decided to buy a pet rat/spider/snake knowing you didn’t want one. See what responses that gets…