To want DH to say yes to a cat!

So you’d let your children have deciding votes on a new car? A new sibling as in insisting on one? Family wedding invite.. vote nah we anit going? Nope not going on holiday this year mother… and nor are you! 😅

Or does there vote only count on things you don’t care about too much say dishwasher or things you want and the other half doesn’t…

So if your husband showed up with a random animal one day because he and the kids wanted it, you'd be A ok with it? Because you're not the boss of him?

Not allowed to even discuss it. You are living with a dictator.

Who makes him the boss of you and your kids? If you and the kids will care for the cat it doesn't need to concern him. Cats are largely independent anyway not like dogs that don't like spending time on their own.

Do you have a cat rehoming centre near you OP? They are often looking for people to foster kittens temporarily until they are ready to go to new homes.

This experience might work out for you - you & your kids get to play with some kittens for a few weeks and your husband just might come to like the little blighters! If not, they go back anyway so no permanent change to the household. This seems like a compromise, or a place to start at least?

I don't think one person should have the final say, you & your children count. Were there valid & good reasons for not having a pet then fine, at least you can discuss it.

But him shutting you down just sounds really controlling & unreasonable.

Examples -

DH didn't want a cat, DS3 desperately did after we lost our ancient cat who was his companion. Eventually the misery of DS3 far outweighed DH being stubborn. We have a cat.

DH, DS2 & DS3 want the dishwasher & washing machine moved into the house from the garage. I REALLY don't cos of the noise. But once DS2 cast his vote I relented.

Because in a relationship it's give and take. There's no such thing as 'discussion ends'
Do the opinions of the children or his wife (i.e the majority) not count ? He's their husband/father not some autocrat..

None of which he mentioned in his rationale for refusing.

We had two cats, DH wasn't really keen but he was their favourite. Unfortunately they are no longer with us and he doesn't want another one. I keep nagging him as do the kids. He's said maybe next year (I don't believe him) but I'm really hoping he will.
I've said I'll do everything for the cats (like last time) so it won't really affect him .

Doesn’t sound like it would be much of a loss from what OP has posted…

But OP's husband hasn't said anything about any of that, he just "can't see the point" in getting a cat.

You say it’s a control thing? That makes him sound rather awful.

Are you sure you wouldn’t rather have a cat than have him?

i think the point was @GoldCat255 , that despite the very obvious and varied reasons to say no, the OP's husband didn't cite a single one of them.

Simply 'I don't see the point'.

If he genuinely is unbothered by any of the cons of owning a cat and simply doesn't understand why anyone else would enjoy owning a cat, then that seems pretty unpleasant of him to deny that pleasure to those he lives with.

What do you mean there is no obvious reason to say no?
There are plenty of reasons to say not to owning a cat :

• Daily feeding and litter maintenance
• Vet visits and health costs
• Potential for allergies or scratches
• Damage to furniture
• ...and many more

Get one of each

My post was clearly in jest.

But there is an obvious reason to say no.

He doesn't want one. That's his reason -discussion ends.

Why isn't "I don't want a cat" a sufficient reason?

Maybe the husband hasn’t bothered giving a reason because he knows, no matter what the reason op will give a come back answer. So easier to just say no full stop.

I don’t want one because of the fur… It’s fine I’ll hover every day (still doesn’t stop it getting on clothes during the time between hoovers)

I don’t want the cat upstairs… I won’t let it. (Gets an annoying cat who howls and scratches to be with people, op gives in)

I don’t want stinky litter trays…. It won’t stink I’ll clean it daily and they will go outside.. (each poop still stinks as it’s done and even clean cat litter has a smell)

I just cnba or stand the smell of wet cat food… you won’t have to feed it I will and we can use dry…. (One day op will need the husband to feed the cat and biscuits still smell)

I don’t want it up on the sides…. I will stop it. (You can’t stop it really the second your back is turned boom cat on the counter)

I don’t want it bringing in dead animals it’s caught or near dead one… we won’t have a cat flap.. (so now your a cat concierge at all hours in and out)

Also cats love people who don’t like cats. So it will be all over him like a fly round shit.

Don’t want it scratching the furniture, we will get a scratch post ( hahahahahaha )

My cats love my mil 🤣

And potentially lose a husband over a fucking cat!

I loathe cats, so I'm on Team Husband. But pets are a big deal, so I think anyone who doesn't want one should absolutely have the right to veto.

Not wanting a cat is an obvious reason. Clearly he doesn’t like cats.

Just like some people don’t like dogs or rats or snakes.

Yes it does. When there's no obvious reason to say no & you know how much happiness it could bring. That's a misery to my mind.

Imposing a pet on someone who doesn’t want one is selfish. He doesn’t want one, that’s a good enough reason.

I’d be incredibly cross if DH brought home a pet I had said no to and it would be going right back to where it came from.

YABU. You can't foist this responsibility onto a reluctant person. If you don't like cats, they're just an expensive hair shedding, furniture wrecking, bird killing burden.