I’m currently leaning to drive; mainly at the encouragement of my partner. I’ve tried before and struggled, but he’s loves “off the beaten track” type holidays, so is really keen for us both to be able to drive - to the point that he offered to pay for the lessons if I’d try again.
Unfortunately, I haven’t gelled with my instructor. He seemed perfectly nice, and VERY chatty, but I started to find him quite intrusive. He’d ask what I was doing after the lesson - which is fine, obviously - but a few weeks in he said, “So do you do the bulk of your socialising with your family, then?” I was confused and said, “No - why?” He said, “Well it was just that last week you were going to your mother’s, this week you’re going out with the family for lunch…” I said, “Well, it’s Sunday; a lot of people do family stuff on a Sunday”. This led to a lot of about what else I’d done that weekend, where I like to go…
Later on he said, “It’s funny, teaching someone to drive; you can end up knowing everything about them. But some people just don’t share anything”. I just said, “Yeah, I can imagine” in the hope he’d take the hint that I was type two and I just wanted to drive.
But the main problem is, he’s always early. I don’t mean a few minutes; I mean 10, 15 or even 20 minutes early. Then he’s clock watching for the whole lesson and expecting to get back bang on two hours after he arrived, regardless of the booked time. If I question it, it’s “Well, I was there at ten past…”
Anyway, yesterday he was 25 minutes early. I was fuming. My partner answered the door and got in a flap; he was saying, “He’s here; he’s here and you’re not even dressed!” I said he could damn well wait - that we were paying him, not the other way around. But he made such a fuss that I threw something on and went out. I’d had enough of biting my tongue and said to the instructor, “You’re very early”. He just said, “Yeah, my last client only lives around the corner”. No “Sorry about that” or “Hope that’s okay” - nothing.
During the lesson, he said, “Were you in the middle of something this morning, then?” I said, “No, why?” He said, “Well, you mentioned me being early”. I pointed out that he WAS early. He said, “I know - but it’s just that you mentioned it.” Like this was some terrible faux pas on my part. Then at ten to the hour he started his “Well, we’d better be heading back…” routine. He was booked until half past! I pointed this out and got the whole “Well, I did arrive at five past…” I said that that was his choice, not mine, and that I’d booked him until half past. In the end I drove back because there wasn’t much else I could do.
Today I phoned the driving school and said I wasn’t happy with my instructor and wanted to be assigned to someone else. When I explained about the timing issue they said they’d speak to him, but I said I was uncomfortable and wanted someone else.
When I told my partner, he was horrified. He was saying I shouldn’t have said I wanted someone else; what if they won’t send anyone else and want to cancel the other lessons… I said the lessons were paid for, so they’d either have to send someone else or refund us. If they do, so what - there are other driving schools. He didn’t want to listen. He's convinced himself that this is some excuse to give up the lessons. I said that was ridiculous; that if I’d wanted to quit I could have just cancelled the lessons altogether. I said he might be paying, but I had to take the lessons and I needed to feel comfortable.
Am I being unfair? I really struggle with driving, but I’m willing to try, so I don’t think it’s so wrong to want as little stress as possible around it.