Reaching out 🥲

Hi bendmeoverbackwards,

Sorry for the very late reply! I haven’t been back to visit this post for a while.

i just wanted to reach out to say thank you to you for making me feel like I wasn’t alone. I appreciate it ☺️

Hope all is well with you and your teen?

Hi, thanks for your input.

It was just one boy in primary who was unkind to him and others in their class/school. He was well liked and made friends and connections easily with other children and adults. He’s never had sensory issues. He doesn’t show any symptoms of anxiety or depression (other than the hygiene things) he doesn’t smell and he does have showers and wash and brush his hair and teeth but not as often as we feel he needs to.

After speaking to and listening to other parents and a couple of specialists, I am thinking more and more that he is being a typical teenager. I would never ever dismiss the possibility of a mental health condition.

I agree with you about the school thing. Home schooling has been great academically for him and us as a family. He communicates with his friends every day but he’s not physically seeing them often. He is upbeat, laughs every day, is always singing and smiling (I know this doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not depressed, but I am very aware of the signs of depression and anxiety and it’s something I would never ignore).

Thanks again for your advice, it is very kind of you xx

Hi there, thanks for your reply.

i understand everything you’ve said.

Funnily enough, I broached the subject with him the other day and he replied very reasonably. He said ‘What’s that?’ I said I know a little bit about it but let’s look it up. So that’s what we did and he said he didn’t feel that he was but he wasn’t defensive at all. He’s a really polite calm boy, always has lovely manners and although he has always liked the word ‘no’ he thankfully isn’t rude or anything. We’ve always been able to talk openly and even though that has changed a little since he’s entered into the teenage years, we can still talk every day.
We went to the doctors a couple of times recently (at his request - he had a blocked ear) and he brushed his teeth had a shower washed and brushed his hair and changed his clothes before we left! so it does look like things are improving.

Thanks again for your input, I really do appreciate it and I hope you’re ok too?

Thank you, your reply means a lot. Just to know we are not alone makes a difference doesn’t it? 🌹🤍

I hear you with their unwillingness to accept help. It’s a tough thing to accept as our number one job has always been to keep them healthy hasn’t it. It’s frustrating. Probably for them as well as us as I’m not sure they can entirely help it - hormones flying about, trying to figure themselves out, who they are, etc. I remember feeling all sorts when I was a teenager. I never really felt comfortable in my own skin. Then in my early twenties I found my confidence and things changed for the better.

I understand how you’re feeling. Please know that if you ever want to message me I’ll always listen. I’ll never judge. You’re not alone either 🌹

Thank you, I appreciate that. I’m really not passive aggressive or any of the things a lot of the posters are saying. But I understand that people perspectives are their own and can often be mistaken when reading communication online.

We have made positive steps forward over the last week.

Re a Therapist - I believe in therapy, for everyone to be honest - I don’t think there needs to necessarily be a concern to have therapy, I think it can help everybody with all areas of their lives. I’ve talked with my son about it before and he’s not interested. I will talk about it again, but getting a 16 year old to talk to their parents about anything below the surface can often be hard enough (luckily we do have a good level of open communication within our family) let alone getting them to travel to talk to a stranger 🫣 hopefully one day he’ll be more open to the idea.

Thank you for your message xx

Hi - I am here - I can read what you are writing about me. (Just letting you know).

I have no idea why you thought that a concerned mother who clearly cares about her child, reaching out for advice from fellow loving mums, made me odd and a potential troll 🤷‍♀️

Please also know that our son does have a life. We love him unconditionally. He laughs and socialises every day. He may not fit your idea of living the perfect life but that really is all it is ~ your idea.

This past week has been a positive one for us.

Sadly, your responses have been unkind, judgemental and hostile. I don’t know why you felt you had to be that way, but thats ok. That’s about you. Not about us, but perhaps in future you could consider your words more carefully and choose to be kind. That way you may actually help people rather than make them feel like there is something wrong with them.

Wishing you well x

Hi - thanks for joining in.

Please can you let me know where I have said that I adamantly believe my son is not autistic? and when I said I didn’t want a diagnosis for my child?

I’d also be interested to know why and how you came to the conclusion that me and my partner (not husband) are a bit autistic?

Thanks x

Aww thank you 🥲 that’s a lovely thing to say x

Things are looking up ~ there’s been steps forward over the last week x

Hey, it’s ok, definitely no need to apologise ~ thank you for sharing what you have, it is useful, so thank you.

I will check both of those that books out xx

Thank you, I appreciate your kind reply x

Thank you ☺️ xx

Hi, thank you for your reply.

When he very first started not brushing his teeth daily, I tried saying “Let’s brush together”. I tried that for a while. He wasn’t interested in that though unfortunately. He has started brushing his teeth every day now. Not twice a day but once a day. Things are getting better.

Hi, thank you for your kind message. It is appreciated x

Yes, some of the replies on here haven’t been kind, but I’m ok with that. I have learnt that everything that people say and do is about them. Not about the person they are saying or doing them to. So I wish them well and I pay attention to the unjudgemental, empathetic and helpful replies :-)

Thank you for sharing those things about yourself. I can relate in many ways. I have a number of physical health conditions (I went into hospital a couple years ago and left with a 7 page report of diagnosis made following mri’s blood tests etc), and my lifestyle changed quite a lot after that. I am now mostly in a wheelchair and it’s been a big adjustment. For all 3 of us. There are days when I struggle to find the energy to do things that a lot of people would find so simple. I’ve learnt to be ok with that and to be patient and kind to myself. It’s ok to not always be ok.

Sending you love and healing and please know that my inbox is always open to you xx

To you and the person you’re having a conversation with on here - I will never stop sending love. I am a loving person and I wish everybody well.

The fact that you find me “odd” as you say, is absolutely fine with me. Your opinion of me is none of my business.

I hope you’re both ok and I send you both love :-) xx

Thank you. We have had some positive progress over the last few days. He asked to go to the doctors as he had a blocked ear and he showered, washed his hair, brushed his teeth and changed his clothes before we went out! great result at the doctors (we’ve been twice in the last week - once to diagnose a blocked ear and the second time to syringe).

I’ve also tried talking with him again and he didn’t respond negatively. It seems that the love and openness is making a difference. Onwards and upwards :-)