DS 25 still lives at home

I was with my parents for about 3 or 4 years after uni. Where i was so difficult to get a permanent job. Everywhere only wanted temps so was impossible to have a steady income.

Finally ended up getting a role which i stayed at for about 5 years. Managed to safe up for a deposit on a house with my husband and we now have a house and baby.

I did move out of my parents house about 6 months after getting that job 🤣. So difficult now, even to rent you need one other person to make it affordable. My aunt could live by herself on a shop wage in the 90s.

Not got to that stage yet but fully expect this to be the case. Was really shocked at another thread on here where someone at 19 got on the council house waiting list and claimed it was due to multiple occupancy. She appeared to come from a line of family who all lived in council houses (mother and grandmother) so maybe it comes down to expectations?

Wow, you have shed loads more patience than me!
Firstly I would have transferred the phone contract to her the second she started earning.
Secondly when she starts wailing about paying a couple of hundred a month I would be showing her the rental prices of the properties she would be moving into unless her attitude changes significantly...
My two are only 18 and 14 and can stay as long as they want/need to on the understanding that they contribute to the household and take over their own bills such as their phone.
I have no intention of having adults living like children in my home and if they want to be petulant about it it's time for them to go off into the world and face reality.

• I was quoting the poster who's daughter is staying at home and dad seems to want to pay for everything...no idea where the quote went!

DS 25 has moved back home from overseas. He is working and contributing to the household and it is great to have living with us. It helps that it's a big house and he has his own space. There is no point in him renting elsewhere when we have so much room.

My DS is 22 and still at home.. He's just qualified as an electrician after a 5 year apprenticeship (delayed by a year due to covid) Working and saving to move out putting by £1000 per month. He's easy to live with so this is fine with me.

Sad to me that in some areas of the UK, The only way single people can move out is if they are on huge salaries or meet someone. Too much focus on coupling up which shouldn't be the way.

I know a few people have attached annexes to their houses for their adult kids to live in. Great idea but not do able for some

I rented from 21 and fresh out of uni and then was able to buy at 24 thanks to an inheritance. Surrey/SW London.

Ds 25 this Christmas still lives at home with us.
He can’t afford to move out.

I think the key is more how they behave rather than how long they live with parents.

Our adult children are treated as adults and expected to behave like adults.

It does them no favours if they're at home living like children until they are late 20s or 30s.

DD1 & DD2 are in their last year at uni and both planning moving home after to save up.

DS is 26 and has his own place, but only because he's technically DSS and got some money at 21 that had been left when his Mummy died when he was a toddler.

DN (who lived with us since 14) is 25 and the only reason he didn't come back post uni is because he lives with DS.

My DS was still at home until he was 25 when he bought his first home. He stayed with us so he could save. Though he did go away for a year travelling before this. DD left home at 19 to go away to uni and never came back to live at home. She bought a place with her bf in the city she went to Uni in. I think it's quite normal for DCs to stay living at home for longer now as moving out is a massive ask for many unless they are on a good income with a partner.

I actively encouraged mine to move out. My youngest came back from uni and lived with me for about five months. He then got a flat share with two others. The eldest and middle kids never came back.

Personally I don’t think adult kids staying living with their parents is right for them or us. Just my view.

DH lived with his parents until we got married at age 24. He paid rent, did his share of cooking and housework and was generally treated as an adult housemate rather than a child.

The family that lives behind me has two adult sons living at home together with one of their fiances.

My adult cousins in their 30s live with their parents.

TBH when my parents and DH's parents were young it wasn't unusual for adults to live with their parents until marriage. DFIL and DMIL lived with her parents until they had saved up enough for a house in the 60's.

DH bought our retirement home with the expectation that one or both of our adult children may need to move back in with us at some point.

Interesting thread. We have to decide whether to stay in our small 3 bed where we could hopefully eventually pay off the mortgage and retire early, or move to a bigger place for double the cost. Ds in particular has an extremely small room. Should we move because they'll need to stay at home?! Or stay to encourage them to move out?! 😆

My sisters 25 in January & still lives at home. Apparently her anxiety won’t let her move out 🤨 she’s fine going out till all hours on a Saturday night though. Funny how anxiety doesn’t affect her then…

I'm 26 still living at home. Was made redundant about 4 months ago. I've been trying really hard to look for work but it's been difficult. I've had my CV reviewed multiple times, see an employment support officer weekly, attend job search appointments at the job centre and still nothing.

When I was working I was paying my mom £500 a month on £24000. I feel like I'm never going to get out of my moms house.

My 21 yr old is back here after graduating. He spends time at his gf’s but I suspect he’ll be living with me for a few more years yet which suits me fine as I’d be on my own otherwise. Younger one is living away at Uni.

Mine are both early to mid 20s and both live in London with partners. Neither of them are in particularly highly paid jobs but sharing with a partner makes a one-bed flat just about affordable.

At their ages I was married with a mortgage on a good 3-bed flat in a nice area of London, which is beyond the wildest dreams of their generation.

He did pay some board but we were able to give it him back towards some home renovations that needed doing. GF’s parents did the same.

While here, his behaviour was great. He always asked if it was ok if GF came round etc and usually cooked one meal a week. If he hadn’t been respectful, he would have been given his marching orders.

I have a few friends who have just moved out.

One was 34 - saved to buy a house by herself and just couldn't get on the marker until then but did pay her mum good rent.
One was 31 - saved with gf to buy a house
one was 35 - had been poorly but recovered and finally got a half decent job enough to afford to move out - luckily his parents paid his house deposit.

more and more people I know are staying home longer.

DS24 graduated last year - did a 5 year engineering degree. He moved out a few months ago - he and GF have bought a house in a safe but more affordable area. It would have been fine if he’d stayed longer and he had initially said 2 years, but a great property came up and they went for it after only one year at home after uni.

Mines 25 and still here. For reasons I can’t say his moving out plan with his GF is on hold for now. So he’s just saving as much as he can and I’m enjoying his company while it lasts . (Although he’s mostly out living his best life 😊)

I’m in the SE, London commuter belt. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have a 20 something at home unless they have so much spare cash they can effectively buy their kids’ independence. It’s a fact of life.

How you navigate it is the main issue - very important to have clear ground rules and expectations, just as you would in a house share. You’ve got to treat them like a housemate rather than a child

Mine are still teens but I'd say in London and SE certainly there's nothing unusual about 20 somethings living with parents and not even people in their 30s really. I'm certainly prepared for kids to be with us while they establish their careers rather than chucking money at rent if that's what they want to do.

South East 30ish miles from London, Eldest also 25 lives at home. Could afford to live out, has house deposit for elsewhere in country but needs better paid job to actually get a mortgage /save big enough deposit for round here.