DS 25 still lives at home

And lots of kids don't survive to adulthood so I hope you know how lucky you are to still have yours

Yes, DS1 (31) still lives at home, my nieces also do, age 29 and 24. It’s very common now as it’s incredibly hard for young people in many areas to rent or buy and given its becoming the norm, they don’t feel pressured to move out.

My brother is 65 and still lives at home. Our mother is 96. He never left and is quite content. My eldest left home at 18, but still lives close to us. My youngest is 23 and is not ready to leave yet (he has additional needs).

DD1 lived with her partner's parents for 18 months after finishing uni, and saved like crazy. They have recently bought a house, but they are in the north and earn decent incomes (for their age).

DD2 is 24 and has boomeranged since uni (currently at home), unlike her sister she is in SE and single, she was just making ends meet living in a flat share with people she didnt particularly like. DS is also at home and he's 21, he's living on an apprentice wage and there is no way he could afford to even flat share.

It appears young people can only afford to live on their own if they couple up or live out of London. DD1 sacraficed living near her family to buy a house, and the other two DC may never be able to rent / buy a house if they dont find partners to halve the costs.

DS and DD2 are both house trained and are lovely to have but they do want their own place to call home. I would have housed DD1, however her PIL had more space and no other dc living at home so it made sense.

DC mid 20s both moved out for uni and are back. Both have decent jobs, no long term partners so are saving for a deposit for their own place.

They are a pleasure to live with but I know they wish they could rent with friends and save but the high levels of rent in London mean that it is almost impossible. All their friends are also at home saving hard as well.

Realistically, I think they will be here for at least another 3 - 5 years. Good thing I luffs them.

Lots of adult children still live at home. As long as it suits everyone in practical terms it makes perfect sense if the alternative is insecure and mad expensive private renting.

£200pm is derisory. If he were in a house share in my area he'd be paying three times that. Try using this link to give him (and your DH) a reality check: https://lha-direct.voa.gov.uk/Search.aspx?Postcode=SO32%2b2LG&LHACategory=0&Month=10&Year=2024 Select "Shared Accommodation" and enter your postcode and you will see what the council would pay him in housing benefit (if he were entitled to it) which is a good indication of how much shared accommodation in your area would cost him to rent. When he and your DH realise what a bargain he's getting at home, maybe they'll both realise he needs to start paying you both more or move out.

I wouldn't have the space to house 3 adult kids!!!

Yeah DS has just turned 24. Had a few ropey years with him making very poor decisions and going through jobs like water through a sieve. Hopefully he’s turned a corner now and has found a job he likes - not a huge wage and he’s rubbish at handling his money so I think he’s with me for a bit longer yet….sigh

You're right to be annoyed and your DH is doing her no favours at all. She's effectively paying you just £130pm rent (why isn't she paying her own phone contract?), which is derisory and doesn't prepare her for the realities of life.
My parents brought me up with a good grounding in money management and I started paying them rent as soon as I started work. When I got my first pay increase, I told my mum about it as soon as I got home and then asked her how much more in rent she'd like. She just smiled and said "It's OK love, we don't need it, but if we do I'll let you know." She told me some years later that in that moment of me asking her what she wanted to increase my rent to, she knew they'd brought me up right.
You're clearly trying to do the right thing for your daughter (even if she doesn't appreciate that) and your DH is undermining your efforts. As the old adage goes, there's no such thing as a free lunch!

Stepson 24 lives at home but cant respect rules. He thinks its acceptable to not shower, to leave garbage in his room, watch people sleep, not lock doors, scream at people ect so he was told hes out at the end of december. My other step son, is 19 and can live at home as long as he wants. He listens, respects rules, helps clean up messes, helps with our pets ect.

Some kids with additional needs will never move out. I hope the posters wishing their kids would hurry up realise how lucky they are that their children have the option of independence.

DS is 23 and on 32k PA, his GF is on around 30k, both living with parents to save for a house deposit. They will rent and then look for a house to see how they like living together first. They both pay some rent and both do chores as well. Similar upbringings, very work orientated and money focussed.

I earn around the same, slightly less and pay a mortgage and live as a single person on that!

You haven't updated your thread, but there are multiple factors to take into account. Does your Ds do anything around the house, does he pay his way? Do you have a partner and is that partner his DF or a boyfriend for you??

Does he do anything around the house to help?
Really hard to answer your question without context

My DD is 28 and still lives at home. She got her degree and then a certification. And makes decent money but COL is high and she doesn’t want to throw money away renting so she’s saving up for a down payment on a house. I don’t mind that she’s here she doesn’t want to all the odd jobs I hate doing 😂

Isn't the housing & rental market just awful. DD 30 is trapped in the rental market with her dp & ds. Cant see them ever buying their own house, unless they are lucky enough to inherit half of our house.
Our ds is 27 & in the Raf. He comes home.a lot of weekends, as most do. Saving for a deposit & refuses to waste money on rent, especially now as it would be empty all week. Can't see him affording to pay the bills & a mortgage on his own though. He can live with us rent free for as long as he wants to. He's saving, pulls his weight around the house & is better than me at ironing his Raf shirts! I think multi generational houses will be normal for a long time yet 😒

phew its not just us then !! eldest son moved out at 31,Youngest now 29 still here. He’s lived abroad and done a bit of flat sharing in between. We don’t mind ,we've got the space and live in a city with crazy prices.

Dd23 moved back after being out since university and travelling, ds26 currently lives on his own the past 18 months, before that he had left home for 2 years then moved back for 9 months after a breakup.
Our house is pretty small for 4 adults longer term but I do love Xmas when everyone is home!

Of course - as I said upthread it really is more of a housemates dynamic so you have to let them treat their bedroom like a bedsit and entertain

I moved out when I was 25. Never returned.

My son is 21 and still lives with us after graduating. He has a job that will mean him earning about 30k a year. I don't expect him to pay rent, buy groceries etc. and he can stay as long as he likes. DH pays his phone bill. He pays for whatever else he wants, we'll buy him stuff too as well. But he's using his money for savings that will eventually help him in the future and that works just fine for me. Don't expect him to move out for at least a couple more years. I've also got 15 and 7 year old daughters who I will probably do similar with!

My DS is also 25 and moved back home about 2 years ago to do a Masters. Graduated in November last year and saving to move out. We live in an area that has become very expensive over the past few years and there is a big homeless problem so I can’t see him going any time soon

DS4 is 26 & lives at home. He moved to London after the second Covid lockdown & shared a flat with DS1 & his girlfriend. When they went to live with her Mum to save money, he couldn't afford to rent or buy in London as a single man. Fortunately he got a job in the next village & moved back in with me. I like it, he does most of the shopping & cooking, which is a real treat. DH works away a lot, so it's nice to have the company.

Mine are secondary school age but I'd like them to stay at home as long as it takes to save for a house deposit. Of course, that's assuming they are pulling their weight with chores and are respectful. I would take rent but only put towards the deposit, maybe a very small amount towards utilities.