DS 25 still lives at home

That’s a good point re house prices. Amongst my family, those who have brought have spent around £180000. One brought a one bedroom flat, one a two bed terrace, and one a three bed terrace. Other nephews and nieces wouldn’t get anything in the area they grew up, so living at home could be very much influence by location.

DD (24) is in the process of buying a flat with us on the mortgage (it’s called dual income, single owner). We couldn’t see another way of her being able to move out even though she had a £20,000 deposit saved. DS (22) is at uni, so he will be coming back to save a deposit too.

One 22 year me one living at home, obe 24 living away. 22 year never want to uni but us saving money towards a house.

Amongst my friends, there’s a mixture of home birds and people moved away.

Mine are a bit young yet (17 & 14) but am starting to think about these issues with the 17yr old.

Although I always assumed mine would move out and live independently after uni like I did (I never took any of their money from age 21) I do see that the world is somewhat different these days with student debt, astronomical house prices and working from home making bedsit life less fun.

I wonder do we need to be so obsessed with people buying their own home? Maybe an extended family set up had a lot of benefits for all and why not go that way?

4 generations of my family lived in close proximity (not the same house but very close by) when I was growing up and it was amazing to know my grandparents like that, my parents had free childcare and I had a lot of people who loved me.

My SIL in her 30s and her partner and 2 kids live with MIL in her house. Supposed to be temporary whilst they saved for a house but it's been over 5 years now. Everyone seems to benefit so no-one wants to change it.

If my kids don't actually want to leave home and want us all still to be close I don't see the issue.

If we shifted to more inter generational living we would improve all kinds of problems like

• the housing shortage
• childcare costs
• loneliness in older people

My cousin lived with his parents until he was 36. He couldn’t afford to buy his own house in Hertfordshire. Property averages $700,000, he only just moved out further north.

Yikes. You’re clearly very triggered. Misogyny refers to other cultures where adults live with their parents until they are married off – you brought up these cultures, not me.

Other cultures aside, the UK has not moved into this lane due to a cultural preference or traditions, they have moved into it due to economic pressures and necessity.

Take a moment to stop being defensive over your son and notice that the majority of adults would prefer not to do this and make their own way as soon as economically viable, which is happening increasingly later in life. Yes, depressing.

Oh honestly shut up. My DS is independent. He just lives with us (and saves money on rent)? He has a good job in an industry he likes, he meets up with his friends frequently and engages in extracurriculars that he enjoys.

What are you on about r.e. misogyny?? It's about saving money and being together with family.

My 2 AC left when they were 25 and 28. One came back when his relationship ended, he stayed 3 years and left again when he was 39.

Ds1 has just graduated from uni this summer. The long term plan which was discussed before he even went to uni was always that he would work and save and we wouldn't charge him rent. He has a graduate job, already has a maxed out LISA from uni years so £15k in that and is putting additional money into an ISA. His plan is to live here for 3 years and save.

He knows that his mortgage will be based on his salary so the more money he can put toward the deposit the more choice he has in housing. Both of my children have looked at Rightmove for the past 5 years to see house prices locally. They know how much they can get mortgage wise as they have run the calculators, know how much utilities cost plus food as Ds1 has lived away at uni and Ds2 is currently living away at uni.

However, we knew that this would be a possibility when we bought this house so each child has their bedroom plus an additional room downstairs which has been a playroom, then a gaming room, a homework room and now for Ds1 an office so they have space away from Dh and I which works both ways.

I think there has to be conversations about timelines, saving money, house shares etc. House prices are only going to go up so the quicker they can get onto the property ladder the better really.

DS, 25 next year. Currently living 6 months at home, and 6 months abroad, same for last year too.
I doubt he will be leaving home for some time.

Our DS left home at 17 to join the RAF and our DD still lives at home at 25 too.

Mine DS’s are 25 and 22, both still living at home. Youngest has had a rough time over Covid with job/mental health, so it’ll be a while before he moves out I think. Eldest is saving up to buy house. Happy for both to stay at home as long as they need to, don’t see why people so keen to get their children out. 🤷‍♀️

Jeez. It’s too early in the morning for this. I find it depressing that adults can’t get out and live independently – that’s my opinion and incessantly asking why I find it depressing isn’t going to change my mind. The cultures you’re referring to wherein adults live at home until marriage are often based on misogynistic principles with poor rights for women, so yes, I find that depressing too.

I left home at 18 after getting pregnant at uni. I wouldn't have wanted to live at home, but I 100% wish I'd had a nicer family and home environment where I could have stayed to build up some savings. I'm 30 now and my friends who lived at home have mortgages whereas we'll probably be forever renters.

So do I but I understand everyone's circumstances are different and people shouldn't feel guilty for that.

What's so bad about it? What's so depressing? In many other societies and cultures this is common place until marriage (where naturally the couple needs their own space).

How come he boomeranged back?

Why did t he get a flatshare with friends from uni?

Was it 2020, lockdown times?

That has caused so many long term problems!

Could he move away to do a postgrad then stay there?

My post was a general comment whereas as yours was directed at me personally. Uncalled for and unnecessary.

Yes I do know. I have personal experience of it.

For previous generations it was normal for everyone to live together, even after marriage and with first babies. Still pretty normal in many European countries. All generations living together.

No economy should make it normal and/or commonplace for adults well into their 20s to live with their parents as a matter of course and for years.

Yeah, I personally find that a depressing state of play.

I suppose those of us who enjoyed living away from home in our 20s find it sad that others aren't getting to do that. I mean, I could have saved a lot of money but I wouldn't have become independent

What's depressing about it? Families who love each other, living together? Saving money?

My DS lives at home instead of wasting money paying rent and funding someone else's mortgage payments.

We want to retire around the time dc will be early 20s. If they live at home without contributing, we can't afford to do that. We can't pay for four adults to eat and have baths and more heating and phone can car and gym bills - they need to gradually take over funding their own life styles.
We won't take any money while they're in full time education.
If we were better off I might think differently. Though I suspect they will still expect me to have the role of meal preparer, clothes washer etc and I am planning to retire from that too.

Gosh this thread is depressing. All these adults living with parents.

£100 a week is absolutely.i mum, with her paying for her own phone.