To not want to pick ds up from nursery?

Honestly it’s awful! It was bad enough when I wasn’t pregnant, luckily I have very few meetings on Thursday/Friday, so the ones I do have I just work around my 3 year old, try and set him up with an activity whilst I do them, but adding pregnancy with it has been next level, I had to go off sick for 2
weeks at one point as I was just absolutely running myself into the ground going into the office 3 days and then working at home with a little one the other two. I had my last day before I start Mat leave today, I’m 38 weeks pregnant and I’ve never been this tired, not even with a newborn 😭🙃

Just because I'd mentioned having a stairgate and being a single parent myself. I haven't RTFT only your replies.
My apologies for making an already stressful time more stressful

This is good advice.

Change things. Don't feel you have to get him home for a 5 o clock dinner, 6 o clock bath or whatever. Do something different. Split the pick ups with his Dad.

Is this in response to my post? If it was then I was quite clear I wasn't giving advice I was just saying what worked for me and I didn't assume you were a single parent I was simply stating that I am. Frankly if that was to me it's pretty arsey given I was trying to show solidarity as I understand the struggle of a very energetic child.
If it wasn't aimed at me then apologies and as you were

I’ve got one like this! When he’s tired/ needs a wee/over/stimulated he can be wild, flinging himself around; being very rough and squeezy. It is hard work! Maybe especially if you were a very different child to how he is. I was a really quiet and still and quite passive kid so it’s taken me time to get used to him and enjoy him! There are pros to this personality type, I promise! But at 4:30 when there tired it can be super tired.

I think the trick is to give a snack in the car on the way home (combo of different food groups, not too much sugar!) as it’s worse if they’re tired. Also try different things to see what works to help him to find a calmer state. This is trial and error! Would a cuddle with you in front of something he likes on iPlayer work or a story with you? Or a bubble bath? Or bouncing on an indoor trampoline? Or some play doh if he’s a bit sensory seeking? Or a Toni box with headphones that he can chill out with? Building a train track and watching trains go around?
Do nursery have any ideas about what interests him or gets his full attention?
also I find Dr Becky podcasts super helpful. I found that whenever my kid would go wild I would worry that he would be the same at age 15 and this would affect how I responded. When I stopped doing that I chilled out and it really helped!
Good luck

People seem to forget not all children are the same… my 3yo also doesn’t like CBeebies or the tv in general.

Do we have the same DS? Also 3, also loud, non stop moving, hyper, flinging himself around. Hasn’t napped since he was 20 months old. He’s wonderful but my god, sometimes I feel like shouting at him to just sit still! He can have hours and hours of exercise and still somehow be full of energy. I leave him in nursery until 5.45 on two days a week, 4:30 one day and have him with me 2 days. Also have a newborn DD so I cut myself some slack! He loves nursery so I don’t feel bad about leaving him there, then we have 1 hour of hijinks at home before his dad puts him to bed.

If he's throwing things and generally boisterous I think you need to lean in and redirect that energy positively. So a toddler basketball hoop for indoors if you have space or bean bags to throw into hoops/boxes. If they're strong enough, throw the sofa cushions on the floor and chuck him about a bit. A lot of kids don't need a quiet wind down, they need a run about/some rough play before bed to feel connected and get the energy out.
For what it's worth, I'm not naturally that kind of parent that enjoys that kind of stuff either but it definitely makes my little one more settled. Easier when both of us are home mind you, hard to balance the needs of a 3 year old and younger baby.

Off topic but how on earth do you work from home with a toddler 2 days a week? I'm heavily pregnant and can barely keep awake long enough to answer a few emails!

I do kind of get where you’re coming from. I have a 3 year old who’s going from a difficult stage at the moment, he does nursery 3 days a week and he is horrific when I pick him up at 5, the hours between that and bed are always him being over tired and making a fuss about eating dinner etc. I work full time (have him home with me on Thursday and Friday whilst I work) in a very high pressured job, so I’m also burnt out at that time, and I’m heavily pregnant so I find it hard 😭

You have my sympathy. I've been reminded of a friend of mine whose two youngest were rather that way. They had a big trampoline in their garden (well, it pretty much filled the available outdoor space IIRC); an inside climbing frame thingy and I think a lot of cushions. When it was light out I frequently saw them on a walk before bedtime at a point when mine were already asleep - they needed so much exercise to wear them out. One of the pair did extremely well at school, is now in musical theatre I believe; the other turned out to have significant SEN. But as little ones both were a handful.

I had a stint of collecting my eldest from school, walking or cycling home past the nursery her brother was at and then going back to collect him - if I stopped off on the way home then I was interrupting their tea time and it just didn't work. Always felt bad, the eldest had already had a greater share of 1-1 with me at that point.

I'm thinking that with the clock change you may have an opportunity to change things up with their routine a bit this week. Hope you find some variations that work a bit better.

What does he actually like doing? Do they find him tricky at nursery?

I usually pick DC (just turned 3) up at 4pm and I find the evening goes so quickly!
We walk home, night swing into a shop on the way, a few days a week we go home via the park. That’s close to an hour gone by the time she stops to throw the leaves in the air a million times. Baby gets whingey in the pram after a while so we start to get a move on.
Then they just play in the living room while I make dinner, dinner about 5/5:30 depending on when we’ve got home. Then big bath full of toys, into pjs then some puzzle games on the floor while a movie is on.
Teeth and stories about 6:45/7pm and then bed.

If the oldest messes around on the way home then she gets told no tv later. If she’s screaming and shouting at home it also goes off.

I found age 4+ much easier, I’m an introvert and couldn’t cope with the amount of attention required from another human being. I definitely didn’t enjoy being a parent. I would have still thrown myself in front of a bus for her.

I think some of just struggle to get joy out of kiddy things. I am definitely a sedentary person. I just want to read the newspaper or my book with a cup of tea.

Have you tried story time OP, just a calm wind down with a few books?

You are not alone. Parenting young children is bloody hard work. This is the very worst time of day too - witching hour is 100% a thing! I used to feed mine early, bath and then bed with lights off by 7pm. Then dh and I would have dinner in peace.

So tell him the show goes off until he stops jumping around like a loon. Or ignore it.

Dies it matter that much that he is?

You have all my sympathy it is a difficult phase.
Overall, It sounds like you are just exhausted and need a break and that is why this hyper part of the day is wearing you out. Is there anyway to get a bit of extra help for a bit, even say once a week at that time of day?
Remember it is a phase, whilst they get used to being at nursery, at four they are developing and growing fast and trying to take in lots of things at once.

I had two hyperactive ones.... And I think the above pp re den building is worth a shot.

They def are holding it in at nursery And at pick up time they had to let it all out.
I used to have to give them food immediately on pick up as they would get hangry. It did make a difference.
Can you take him home on a little scooter (with a lead or something if necessary) or stop in a park ( if you're both well wrapped up) to let him jump up and down outside for a bit - weather allowing. Otherwise, the shops where they could choose a small something. We often used to go to a large garden centre where they could walk around looking at Xmas decs.

I remember buying a mini fitness trampoline, that they could jump up and down on indoors ( had to put bubble wrap etc round the edges... but that used to help. And foam balls to chuck about did less damage. Building a cushion fort would have kept mine busy, they would have enjoyed the idea of taking everything off the sofa and hiding. Or playing with big cardboard boxes. with blankets over them. I think you can buy tunnels which fold down again.

Having food ready or planned the night before as there was little time to prep meals when they were on the go and I had to keep an eye on them. Once they had eaten and were still sitting I used to swap the food with playdough so they could fiddle with that.

The bath with plenty of toys and an audio book on also used to help, familiar songs or stories. I used to clean the bathroom at the same time.

Its hard to build a routine when they are constantly on the move, but it does help. As does moving to different rooms.

Are there any weekend sports clubs or swimming lessons near you for his age group. We did mini rugby from 4. It can be quite relaxing sitting on the sidelines for a bit.

From about 4pm to bedtime is the hardest time! At least in summer you can take them for a run around in the park but in winter it's grim! Do whatever works for you OP, I always think a long bath with toys and splashing about is a good way to work off a bit of steam. Then after tea, try and have quiet time, stories and quiet games and cuddles on the sofa to wind down. There's many a mum counting the minutes til bedtime at this time of day so don't beat yourself up 💐

Literally as soon as I get my 5 year old home from school she asks to play with me, and nags and nags and nags. Don't get me wrong I will play with her for a bit, but there's only so much 'playing cafe' I can tolerate until my back is killing me and I want a cup of tea.
I much prefer playing card/board games.

It's a relief when she goes to bed being honest.

Of course I love her, and yes I'll probably miss it when she's older blah blah but the fact is I like doing adult things, because I'm an adult.
Parenting is hard work and can be quite boring at times.

I'll get flamed on here of course, but my point is OP, kids can be hard work and you're seriously not alone. The joy of it comes from watching them grow, learn and the lovely moments, not the everyday slog.

I understand. I had this too. I miss it now but that wouldn’t have helped at the time!

i wondrred… could you do a couple of 5 pick ups. Just to give yourself a bit more time?
can you work out if you’re son is I) tired hyper or ii) still has energy. If you work out the root cause you could base the routine on that… eg if it’s genuine energy then need a way to burn it off. If it’s excitement to see you then need contact/engagement. If it’s hyper tired needs some kind of calm… you could try different things to see if you can find the best thing…