To not want to pick ds up from nursery?

By take it easy and chill I mean chill for us. Its still a lunatic asylum, and all of it is incredibly stressful. My son doesn't stop. His behaviours are just less intense on non nursery evenings because he is less tired.

Go away troll! I bet you don’t have kids.

Op it's a bit concerning you're not seeing some glimmers of joy, it's not a criticism, I just wonder if you mh is okay?
I hope you're OK. X

Ohhh get you. Twat

You are lovely! We should be surrounding other women with support and understanding, not doing things that cause them to retreat and suffer in silence.

Open and honest conversations around how bloody hard parenting can be and getting rid of the stupid idea that mothers should be perfect would prevent SO much harm.

It would also prevent men/society from using these ideas against us to get us to facilitate their success whilst not caring about our own (or actively hampering our success as independent women ask for more out of people).

Look at how we are turning on each other, doing their policing for them. We make it so easy for our patriarchal society to insiduously keep women and especially mothers in their place.

Imagine if we collectively supported each other and demanded better treatment and help.

Mothers are human first. They don't give that away because they got pregnant.

Not being able to relate to a posters exact experience doesn't mean we can't all talk about it kindly... And I promise there are many many women and mothers having a hard time with parenting right now, including some of the sanctimonious posters on this thread.

OP why did you have children?

I don’t feel this way at all. I race home from
work to get my child. Everytime.

Glad you kept your sense of humour OP. If you haven't read @FupaTrooper 's post please read it. Not only is she brilliantly defending you but also all women. I think you just have to skim the judgmental posts and just read the ones who are really trying to help out/offer compassion. Don't want you to get depressed after having been so brave to admit to feelings many might not dare to admit. A pp talked about taking one hour to yourself after work just to wind down and relax. You could look at this time as supporting your mental health which will help you feeling a bit less overwhelmed with DS. Trust me, it gets easier. My previously hyperenergetic DS1 now 14 y old is now on the couch and I'm tearing my hair out trying to get him to move and be more active 🤣

As with a lot of threads on here there are some fantastic replies but the op bites at the snarky ones and doesn't acknowledge the helpful ones really.
It sounds really difficult but I do remember this age being awful for me. It feels never ending but it is just a stage and one day (hopefully soon) it will all be a memory. Your feelings are valid - it's bloody hard and exhausting. Don't be hard on yourself

I look forward to DC coming home - I love them and enjoy spending time with them.

Do you know what factors are causing difficulties in your relationship with your DS at the moment, @tiredsince2020 ? How does this relationship differ from the relationship with other children in the family? There may be things that could help improve how you get on.

Do you have an evening routine? Activities at home or in the community?

I’ve only skim read your posts OP not read the full thread.

My DS was never really into TV. It doesn’t hold his attention, he isn’t interested in it.

Pretty much since he could stand he’s been helping us cook in the evenings or playing with his own kitchen/bangkng pots and pans. The cooking gives him attention, focus and responsibility. And stops him getting up to mischief elsewhere whilst we cook. Might be worth a try? He might surprise you!

The offerings are very, very different. They will all like different things. But if a child can’t engage with any of the programmes, yes, I would be exploring whether there was a reason that none of it was capturing their attention.

As it turns out, op has in any case now said he does sometimes like some of it, which is what you would expect.

I brace myself every day when picking up my 3 year old DS and 1 year old DD because whilst I love to see their little faces, it lasts all of 30 seconds before they start to fight, scream and cry and I’m instantly stressed.

DS is a handful as well and like a wired ball of overtired energy after preschool. He’s also not very enamoured with CBeebies. At best, it’ll form background noise while he does something else but he never sits down to watch a full episode of anything on there. I’ve accidentally found a couple of things that work really well for him though and one is a “game” where I put a chair for him to climb onto the kitchen island, then I shout questions at him like “what colour is the sun?” and when he answers, I say “yes! Jump!” and he’ll launch off the island for me to catch him. It is fairly terrifying to ensure I never drop him but it really works to regulate him and he’ll usually calm enough to then help with dinner.

Maybe you can try a couple of active games for when you get home and just see if that helps? You’re certainly not the only one struggling though, some kids are just wild at 3 and survival is the only option.

@widelegenes I needed to read this today, thanks for your wise words. x

What on earth are you talking about? The nursery staff are there to do a job plus OP is not making them stay late!

Op you might need some me time to recharge first, or to prep to make the evening smoother. Take half an hour and collect at 5?

ADHD? You simply don't understand that every child can be different.

Yes she has apologised.

Brilliant ! I had to quote you so anyone who missed it gets to read ut.

Your medal is in the post, hun.

Apologies straight back for not seeing. Should’ve read the comments better x

Good for you. I'm a sahm so mine were with me until starting school but I'm not getting on my high horses telling OP how she is supposed to feel or live her life. I had a DH who worked for all of us. If I'd been a single parent as OP working and then picking up toddlers after nursery I might have been exhausted and felt exactly as she is. She's here because she needs support. She already feels guilty about her feeling the way she does (which she shouldn't because she's just overwhelmed and tired) so how is your comment helpful?