To not want to pick ds up from nursery?

And does his jumping around have to be a problem?

Counterintuitive but could you spend some days with him one on one to re-set your relationship? Tbh I find you saying you don’t “exactly” not love him quite worrying.

@IVFmumoftwo What a pointless, unkind comment. Nosmartphone doesn't sound martyred to me in any way, just someone who was able to make choices to suit her and her children and expressibg her opinion of the practice of putting very yoing children in nursery, sometimes for many hours a day.

No doubt there are already studies published linking this to the incredible rise in anxiety and mental illness in our younger population

My youngest hated nursery too, sadly I was very much the main breadwinner though both us parents worked full time... he got through it, went on to enjoy school and sixth form college, and is now thriving as a resident doctor... we naximised our flexibility in order to put him in half day sessions and one of us, mum or dad, would be the ones to drop off and pick up. We were lucky in that sense

I send my two year old to nursery two mornings a week because I want to and because he is extremely hard work and needs help with speech development. Judge away. Mums are allowed a break. I have just spent two hours so far stopping him climbing tables, messing with taps and playing with the cooker. Yeah we will go to softplay but I can't afford that all the time. Who enjoys that sort of behaviour seven days a week? Enjoy your break OP. The free hours can't come soon enough. Some of us just don't have easy children!

And what age are you going to cut the apron strings, mummy martyr?

I used to feel like this, when I had PND. I was already taking antidepressants but I also started having cognitive behavioural therapy. it really helped.

I used to dread ever having to be on my own with DC, I always wanted another adult around and would avoid going home, taking them places or to a relatives etc so I wasn't the only adult.

Troll? Are you ok?

Did we ever get clarification of whether or not OP is a single parent?? Conflicting info earlier......

Yes very possible I’d say. There’s something about a hot meal - especially as it gets darker.

Haven't rtft but wondering if he could be hangry? You say they have tea but it may be so low on calories because of 'healthy choices' that he may need earlier proper evening meal as soon as possible after arriving home. Something prepped and almost ready to go?

Hanger is an actual thing as being hungry,causes cerebral irritation.

Lots of adults like to come home to the comfort of food and it sounds as if he's a very active, lively little boy so burning up calories at a huge rate... maybe?

Nobody is suggesting OP consider ADHD because of her child not being entranced by TV. They are saying it because of the combination of her finding him hard, full on, hyperactive, never stopping, argumentative, impossible to tire out as he just gets more energetic etc. (And yes also not enjoying sitting and doing something quietly, but not that on its own).

Perfectly reasonable thing to suggest keeping an eye on, considering it's very common (likely around 3-5% population, so 1 in every 20-30 children) and he has about half the diagnostic criteria described in this thread.

Obviously nobody has actually made a diagnosis, it's just a suggestion. NHS won't assess at nursery age anyway because there is too much overlap with normal age appropriate activity, short attention span etc.

Since nobody has suggested anything outlandish like dosing him up with coffee, the suggestion is mainly to look at resources about what helps with ADHD type hyperactive behaviour, since at this age most of it will be transferable to any child with a higher energy range, and will be far more useful than generic, frustrating advice OP is finding unhelpful like "put the TV on and give him a snack" or "praise for good behaviour" or "tire him out on the way home".

He might well grow out of it but maybe the info for more extreme situations will help in the meantime.

While that poster's contribution was heinously tone deaf:

a) she didn't give up work, she's self employed, and

b) slamming SAHPs is an ironically unpleasant way to respond to the issue of that poster judging the OP.

I totally agree

Yea I’m really not understanding this either.

I understand sone parents aren’t too keen about screen time, but it’s better than an uptight mood in the house.

Or failing that, what does he enjoy because that’s normally the best place to start? My SIL’s little boy had a kind of junior scalextric which he enjoyed racing the cars round when he was a bit low energy . Would he like something like that where the cars give the impression of racing about but he is still?

I am laughing at these people who think a child has ADHD if they are not entranced by the TV. Mine liked TV, but I have met kids who didn’t. It doesn’t always hint at any kind of special need! I bet some of these posters are the ones who need the TV on all day and cannot imagine a day without watching Loose Women!

Cringing so much at this! My ‘very bright’ 😂 kids are at university now and are not remotely traumatised by being at nursery. They are proud I worked! We have had absolutely fabulous family times though I would never use such a cliched Instagram phrase such as ‘making memories’! Very close and happy young adults now.

It is disappointing that you have contributed to the gender pay gap by dropping out of the workforce. And you have my sympathy as you are doing that thing of convincing yourself you did the right thing by giving up work and depending on a man/benefits, when you are clearly realising that the kids of sahps are no different to those of working parents. I hope you make peace with your choice. I am sure you did what you thought right at the time.

Coffee is definitely a must, @theotherfossilsister !

There are some really smug replies. I think we’ve all been desperate to see our children yet also keen to be away from them and have space to breathe- both can be true. Op sounds like she’s under a great deal of pressure with work/housework and two young children and needs to vent.

It is bloody hard. I would still advocate for picking up a bit later, and maybe getting takeaway coffee if affordable and drinking it on your own just before pickup.

Trampoline to my reply ?

Honestly a god send

Letting off extra energy /steam

All weathers

We got ours with dd was almost 2. She's now heading to 8

It gets used most days - def all over nice warm months but even when wet. You get she would put on waterproofs and have a bounce or tea party with her dolls etx when younger

fiftiesmum · Yesterday 17:11
Are you a single parent op or does the other adult in your household work long hours/stay at work in until post bedtime?
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tiredsince2020 · Yesterday 17:13
Yeah just me, with an extremely hyperactive child prone to doing insane things.
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tiredsince2020 · Yesterday 18:38
I haven’t once said or implied i am a single parent.
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You did say you are a single parent... you were asked and replied 'yeah, just me" !!! Confusing!! And if you're not a single parent, why isn't your partner helping in the evenings ??

Have you looked into what he is eating for tea at nursery? Diet can have a huge impact on behaviour. I think if you collect them later they will be even more tired and worse but you could try it to see how you get on. Three year olds are full of energy; you cannot physically wear them out. They will just keep going but gating more and more tired, hyper and noisy. I know when it's the end of term in my nursery classroom because of the noise level. Ask nursery what time he comes in from the garden at pick up. If lunchtime then he needs another good run around. Do they take them out in the afternoon?

I know exactly what you mean OP - your username says tired since 2020, that's likely not a coincidence. I would recommend GP for blood tests for iron, B12 and vitamin D levels. These are commonly low after having a baby and should help with energy levels.

Parenthood especially age 3-4 hugely exacerbated for me what I now know is ADHD. I had never considered it in myself because I was not hyperactive (more the opposite!) But it turns out it can present like that in women. A lull in energy in the afternoon that feels like wading through treacle is a common sign too. (The other sign that I was struggling with is constant sense of overwhelm like I could never quite catch up with life and adulthood in general. Like I was always discovering a new responsibility I was supposed to have and barely managed the existing ones).

And I now know as well that I didn't realise at the time that my eldest (and likely second) DS has ADHD as well. I'm hindsight not surprising because it's highly genetic. Most people find parenting starts to get easier around this age. Tantrums reduce, they get better with instructions, sleep improves if it hadn't already, potty training done, they can do things for themselves a bit, everything just gets a bit easier. None of that is gone, but it's better. Whereas with my children they seem to ramp up a level in difficulty. Potty training and sleep issues drag on, tantrums are more intense and frequent, they become very demanding with attention, fussy, argumentative. I just assumed it was normal because that's what the trajectory had been so far, so the fact it continued to intensify didn't strike me as unusual.

I'm not saying that your DS definitely has ADHD - it's too early to tell anyway. But just a perspective from someone who has been there with a challenging preschooler.

But if he doesn’t enjoy what’s on from 4:45/5:30 you realise you can just pick and choose what to play for him from iplayer? Just play what he likes.

Oops, that was meant for @thingymijigi

Is that live action boring o'clock? So dire, I would've hated those shows as a child.