Being the only one buying

He's a cocklodger kick him out then apply for child maintenance and definitely stop buying his family gifts.

Who owns the house?

What are you loving?
A man who doesn't respect or see you as his equal?

Why do people DO this? Quote the OP 😂 - if there is ONE post that we have ALL read, it is this one

Just the answer the questions people may now ask me -
No, I am not the thread police, but I can still ask
No, I am not "fumin"
No, I have no life
Yes, I am bemused/ intrigued why people do it

You're being unreasonable because this is not what love looks like.

As stupid as its going to sound I'm still with him because I love him which is what annoys me and at times he does make me feel happy and safe but I'm really starting to struggle with paying for everything, his attitude when I do end up asking him for help, it got to the point where he will watch me struggling with the kids and he waits until I've lost it before he offers to help, he doesn't play with them or if he does it's just with the baby

What's the point of pouring your love into a bloke who doesn't love you back?

If he loved you, he wouldn't sit back and watch you struggle financially or practically.

If he loved his kids, he wouldn't ignore them and only "help" when you're desperate.

I daresay he may say the words, but without the actions, his "love" is worth shit.

If he was a half-decent man, he wouldn't be living off you.

Sorry you live together and he's giving you zero towards mortgage and bills?!!!!

Address this now set up a joint account for bills he put in on pay day a percentage of his earnings and you do the same. This is absolutely financial abuse!

Is he paying for your pension contributions while you're out of work and bringing up your (shared) children? I'm going to guess not..

If you have a shared life and shared responsibilties then you need to have shared finances (or something approximating shared responsibility for ALL costs). Otherwise i'm afraid it's beginning to sound like financial abuse and you absolutely should not be putting up with it. But, why didn't you discuss all this BEFORE you had children with this man?!

OP WTH! Is the house in just his name too or do you jointly own it?

I do not understand how you can live with a man who does absolutely nothing to contribute to the house or DC.

This is all so wrong.

If this is correct @Everydayimwingingit he’s taking you for a right mug OP you need to leave this will not get better.

It sounds as though it's his house and she is paying his mortgage. Which is INSANE.

Apart

Do you solely own the house or does he own it too? If he owns it too then why are only you paying the mortgage??

If it’s just your name on the deeds of the house, do not marry him or he’ll have 50% claim to it.

Then kick his ass out he sounds fucking dreadful. I cannot believe he is happy for you to foot the cost of BOTH of yours family while you earn less than him, and also taking the money for his own babies play mat. Disgusting, you deserve better.

But you had another baby, thus enabling his behaviour..
Better off going it alone

He earns more than you but is paying absolutely nothing? Not even half the mortgage? This is financial abuse and you need to seek advice and help from charities such as Women's Aid.

I would ask him to leave. He contribtues nothing.

Leave him and claim benefits. You will be better off.

You might love him, but he sure as hell does not love you. There is no way out of your situation without facing up to this unpleasant reality.

For the love of god, stop having children with this man as a first step.

Then leave him. Take what’s yours, claim CMS, and start over.

Paying for a boyfriend’s lifestyle is a ridiculous thing to do- don’t keep compounding that mistake.

Be warned - he's setting you up as bad cop with the children, so he can swoop in come separation time, get 50% custody and control all decisions to do with the children (whilst providing inferior care.)

All because he has a penis.

Get advice OP and get going.

Spot on.
Sorry op but you are being a total mug.

He's got you properly trapped. Three kids that he doesn't look after, you're paying his mortgage and he's squirreling his money away. And all because you love him...

You love him 🙄

Posts like this are absolutely maddening. I think you are likely a fairly intelligent woman OP, if you stay with him you do it with the knowledge that this is what your life is going to look like in the long term.

What you are describing is an abusive relationship.

He doesn't love you. He's using you and you keep having children with him.

Contact Women's Aid. Get away from this toxic man.

Leave for goodness sake.

It's says nothing for your opinion of yourself if you love a man who mistreats you like this

You are worth so much more - you prove it to me simply by looking after your family and paying the bills - you are a far better person than he is, you deserve a lot better a person to be with

*great mum