Being the only one buying

But she won't. She's clearly in an abusive relationship but she "loves him". So trust me, I've seen this in real life and on MN - she will obsess over that 2% of people whot hink she IS being unreasonable and convince herself that maybe she's just being unfair to this wanker of a man.

I don't understand. How does he make you happy when he doesn't help with the kids or pay any bills?

This person is affecting your mental health. They are financially abusive. It might be that you don't yet know what a healthy relationship looks like , but this is NOT a healthy relationship. Please try to get some support in real life, either from trusted friends or family if you have them, or Women's Aid. Tell them what you have told us here. This is not a good person for you and if you were my daughter, I would be supporting you to end this 'relationship'

Is he the father to them all? Have you done the cms calculations to see what you’d get if you split up? Was it your house before you got together? I can’t understand why you don’t make him pay?

Is it love or is it fear of going it alone with 3 DC? You’re being financially abused & from what you’re saying he doesn’t really sound much of a father either. Who waits until you’re at breaking point to offer any help with parenting? Everything should be split, bills, holidays, he shouldn’t have to be asked to watch his kids or help out he should want to.

He has it easy with you, you do everything, pay for everything why he does the bare minimum. I think you really need to consider if this is the life you want for you & your children.

Stop getting pregnant to him! Why did you just have a third baby? What are you doing??

Please, please for the love of God, go and speak to someone in real life. Tell your friends, your parents, someone and ask for help. Kick him out and claim child maintenance from him.

I can’t even type a proper reply to this because it’s so unbelievable that you’re acting like this is normal.

OP have I got this right?
Your name is not on the mortgage but you are the one paying it? And you're not married?
If I'm right, you need to get legal advice and talk to women's aid because you are very vulnerable. You could end up homeless with no claim. And for god's sake don't tell him that you are getting advice. Be very very careful.

Oh OP. Please read your OP back and imagine it was another woman who had written it. What would you say? Where to even begin. Ask him to step up. What is the worst that could happen? Honestly, what is the worst?

Of course it's helpful, anything to make the OP wake up and do something about this mess of a relationship that 3 poor kids are being brought up in.

Do you love him though?
Or do you love the idea of him, the fantasy he sold you at the beginning?
Or do you love having a 'partner' and don't want to be alone?
There are no redeeming comments that you've mentioned about him at all. Apart from perhaps he is employed - but as you don't benefit from that it's a bit moot.

What was your childhood like because I can assure you no one who was treated well during their childhood would accept this so I expect you went from one abusive situation to another.

You'd be better off without this leech.

I believe you are being abused too.

Financially and emotionally. And you are too afraid to raise the issue with him, please get some help op

You deserve so much more OP and so do your kids.

You need to stop paying, and separate. You are being financially abused.
If in the UK you have no claim on the house, but get financial advice. Start claiming any benefits and child support. Move out ASAP.
And Women's aid can help.

that's really not helpful. You know why? Because now, when OP comes along and looks t th epoll, she's going to think, "wow, okay, although MOST people think I am not being unreasonable, SOME people think I am. So maybe he has a point." Because no, she's not going to come and read the posts and think, "oh right, there were one or two who just think I'm such an idiot for accepting this that they've voted IABU".

I really don't get why people do this.

When you say unit do you mean storage or does he have a separate home?

You are being financially abused.
You aren't married, what's the deal with the mortgage - is your name on it?

What he is doing is not ok, but he isn't going to change either so you need to decide whether you are happy to bankroll him forever or whether you want a clean break.

You have bad mental health because you are being abused, you will be astounded how brighter you feel once you get rid of the cocklodger.

I have voted YABU, only for the fact is that I don't understand why the father of your children, who you live with and has a job is not paying for his own children! The children are not just your responsibility, he is responsible too and needs to step up and support you all.

OP, I don't want to kick you when you're down, but I think this is, at best, a financailly abusive relationship. Most likely, the financial abuse comes with other types of abusive and/or controlling behaviours. It is worrying that you are questioning whether it's fair that you pay 100% of the bills.

Get onto womens aid. He's abusing you and your children and you're scared of him.

He doesn't provide for you and the children or care for you and the children. Your fiancee is actively making your life worse.

Why isn't your children's father paying half of their costs? Does he really not think that he should? I can't imagine how he could possibly argue that he shouldn't.
This is financial abuse OP. I'm really sorry.

What does your partner bring to the relationship, apart from the sperm he donated to father your children?