Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being dry at night toilet training... should I force it?

87 replies

Winniethepig · 28/10/2024 04:47

I have a 4.5 year old who is still not dry at night, she is soaking wet with wee in nappies even though we cut her liquids at dinner and make her wee before bed. We have tried taking nappies away a few times and she gets very distressed when she wakes wet. When we have tried its also led to day time regressions.

We go back to nappies, and she's happy.

Our GP said all kids run on different timelines and if she is still having issues after 5 to come back, but my mother in law is being very opinionated about it and is saying I'm holding her back and now DH has taken all the nappies away.

I'm really not sure if we should just persevere or if I should wait until her nappies feel dry in the morning. I obviously am sick of wet bedding and nappies but I don't want her stressed out at night.

Would love any advice x

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 28/10/2024 06:08

Put her in pull ups and stop upsetting g her.

harrietm87 · 28/10/2024 06:07

I would honestly just put her back in nappies until she is dry in the mornings. No one needs to know about it!

I trained both my kids in the day very early - DS was 18 months and DD 20 months - but did nothing about the night time at all - just waited until they had dry nappies for about a week. DS was dry at about 4.5 and DD at about 2.5. Neither of them have ever wet the bed.

Simonjt · 28/10/2024 05:48

How do you plan to force her to produce enough ADH?

Original poster
Winniethepig · 28/10/2024 05:47

HaveYouSeenRain · 28/10/2024 05:45

You can’t force it. Don’t be cruel and read up on the medical facts. My DD wet the bed 5 nights out of 7 and guess what? It was a medical problem. Nothing we tried worked and shaming her wouldn’t have helped anyway. She got dry with medication aged 8.

why are listening to your MIL? She is not a enuresis expert and stop telling her all your personal stuff. A child is also entitled to privacy.

Edited

Thanks for this but I'm not being cruel. I'm asking for advice. The last thing I want to do is force her when she isn't ready but like a lot of parent advice you hear things from people and you ask for advice / second opinions. I feel the same as you. Thanks for validating this and I have spoken to DH and agreed that she isn't ready. I think MIL is still in that older thinking that children should be ready at a certain age and that's it.

OP posts:
K0OLA1D · 28/10/2024 05:46

Impossible really. My eldest was in pull ups until 8. Dry in the day by just after his second birthday

Ds2 was dry straight away. Though he never slept through, so that probably helped

HaveYouSeenRain · 28/10/2024 05:45

You can’t force it. Don’t be cruel and read up on the medical facts. My DD wet the bed 5 nights out of 7 and guess what? It was a medical problem. Nothing we tried worked and shaming her wouldn’t have helped anyway. She got dry with medication aged 8.

why are listening to your MIL? She is not a enuresis expert and stop telling her all your personal stuff. A child is also entitled to privacy.

Starfish1021 · 28/10/2024 05:44

I had similar with my son. He wasn’t out until he was at least 6. My mother who is normally very supportive was awful. Kept saying I had missed my opportunity BS. There is litterally nothing you can do until the hormone change happens (and it was like a switch). Until then, don’t make a fuss and don’t increase your flipping washi by load so much.

SureLight · 28/10/2024 05:40

Your husband is being cruel and unreasonable and will cause unnecessary distress to your child. Kids have absolutely no control over night time dryness. It is determined by hormone changes and isn’t something you can teach (or in your husbands case, scare her into doing).

Give the poor kid back her nappies.

IAmAFirestarter · 28/10/2024 05:16

Agree with others. This is not something to force. Supermarkets are full of sleep pants for a reason. My child was about 6 before being dry at night but toilet trained early and easily during the day. Don't worry.

blindasaba51981 · 28/10/2024 05:02

You'll know when she's ready, when she wakes with dry nappies or wakes for a wee during the night. Trying to force this isn't going to work. As a pp said it's hormonal.

Landlubber2019 · 28/10/2024 04:55

You can't really toilet train at night, it's something that occurs naturally in most cases with lots of kids needing support beyond 5 yr of age. Get some proper support, your school nurse will give good advice.

Stop talking to your mil about this difficulty, it's non of her business.

Tell your DH that he is being a prick and give your daughter the protection (pull-ups) and support you both need..

beetr00 · 28/10/2024 04:51

The success of night-time training will depend on the maturity of your child’s bladder and the production of a hormone that suppresses the production of wee during sleep. Bedwetting is common in children and 20% of five-year-olds still wet the bed.

www.familycorner.co.uk/when-should-children-be-dry-night#

Swipe left for the next trending thread