Being dry at night toilet training... should I force it?

What evidence are you basing this on? You can’t come in with a completely anecdotal and non scientific opinion and just state you ‘disagree’. That’s madness.

I disagree with pp on here. DD did this, was still in nappies at 5, when her younger sibling was ready to potty train. She had been out of nappies in day since 2.

Hormones play a part but so does habit. They do need a bit of time for their brain to twig they should wake up fully if they need to wee.

I'd commit to no nappies at night for at least a week. if a disaster then keep nappies.

also double sheet the bed, have spare duvet made up for quick night changes. we also have a pad thing that tucks in over sheet so you just take that off.

Not much you can do, dc was dry at night before being fully toilet trained, just the luck of the draw.

Another one to say just wait till they’re ready. As a family we were all slow to be dry at night and my DC are no different. One got rid of the nappies in the summer of year 2 and the other one is now in year 2 and I’ll give it a try in the summer. They wanted to try without by that point and there were quite a few accidents (so I was grateful to be able to put the sheets on the line!) but it didn’t take long so I can see there is a small element of training/them learning to not just use the nappy but I wouldn’t be worrying about it at all until they are 7.

Sorry I meant at dinner time. How much water is she drinking during the day? My kid always got distracted by play and didn't drink as much so needed a nudge at nursery and school

@Winniethepig Don't cut her liquids. Dehydration causes bed wetting. Try increasing her water intake during the day instead. It solved bed wetting for us.

I’ve been trying wondering this as DD was dry at night from age 2 but DS is 4.5 and still nowhere near. I make sure he has a wee before bed and I’m just waiting now

Just a little reading..and yes. It's common all over the world since records begin!

Reading about some of the "treatments" though... fucking hell!

Did so many kids regularly wet the bed 50...70 years ago?

It's hormone related,

So far, both my older ones were dry during the day at 2.

Night time one is still wet frequently at 6.

They will get dry when they are ready, it's about management in the meantime. Either pull ups/nappies or as we do (nappy refused as embarrassed) use care home washable pads - £15 on Amazon and covered the main area that will get wet, therefore it's a quick change of the cover and pj rather than full bed in the night. We have a pack of 4 that we rotate and extra cheap bedding for the frequent washes. They will get there.

My DS was 8. He couldn't help it. He had pull ups, I never mentioned it to him as I knew he was embarrassed

Always understood it was hormonal and thought it was strange that people would go to the effort of waking their sleeping child to put them on the toilet. A) them having undisturbed sleep is incredibly important and B) why the hell would you risk having undisturbed sleep yourself 😂😂

Mine woke with wet nappies until one day they didn’t! Left the nappy off after that, we don’t restrict fluids, they even take water to bed with them (again, they are essential to survival, and if someone told me I couldn’t have a drink when I was thirsty I’d be very upset!! Seems cruel to me). Just a wee after brushing teeth and never had an accident here (or a wake up for the toilet - phew!)

whatever you do don’t force it - it won’t work and will add stress… she can’t help it as she’s fast asleep. My son wet the bed up to age 6 frequently- and even as recently as 9 years old. It is something she will grow out of and is linked to hormones. It is really stressful when you have to keep stripping the bed and washing bedding all of the time but I promise she will eventually be dry!

one thing I would ask is does she have a nightlight? Apparently light can inhibit the hormones that help to keep dry so if she go without a nightlight you might find that really helps. If she insists on a nightlight then switch to one that gives off red light as apparently that is much better…not sure where I read that but I remember being at my wits end with my sons bed wetting and that definitely improved things.

As others have said, it’s hormones that dictate being dry at night, so all taking away her nappies will cause is unnecessary distress and washing. She’ll get there when her body is ready, nappies at night for a 5 year old is not unusual and isn’t doing any harm

If you want to try something, look up the 'oh crap!' Method. This has detailed advice on approaching night training separately to day time. It talks about limiting liquids before bed and strategically lifting the child in the night for wees. It could be worth a try especially if / when a child is uncomfortable wearing pull ups or wanting to progress. But the book also underlines how it comes down to biological maturity so that it is fine to save night dryness as a later goal separate to daytime dryness if your child is finding it more difficult.

My DD went on a school residential in Y4 and at least 2-3 children were in pull ups (that we knew of). It’s very common, you can find pull-ups for kids in every supermarket.

DD1 had a full pull up every morning, until she was 6. Then suddenly... she was dry.
DD2 was the same, just at 5. Both were dry in the day before their third birthdays.

We were told not to worry until 7 years old.

Never understood why people tie themselves in knots over this. I didn’t “train” either of my kids day or night, just waited until they were ready. For night time I waited until we had a few nights in a row of dry nappy in the morning and then asked them if they wanted to try wearing pants at night. Done. 4.5 is still very young. Don’t make an issue where there isn’t one.

DD wasn't taken out of pull ups at night time until after her 5th birthday, and this was only after something like 3 months worth of dry pull ups. She's 7 now and maybe wet the bed twice in that time.
I know of 2 children in her class who are still in nappies at night. Her school is under subscribed, we're talking roughly 22/24 children. Considering this is a topic people don't talk about I am guessing the actual number is higher.

Your mil's advice and husband's removal of the nappies risks making this a longer term problem than it needs to be and horribly unpleasant for your child.

If you remove all the anxiety, it'll happen eventually and he much more pleasant for your daughter (and you as I presume its you changing the bedlinen daily?)

Your DH sounds like a dick tbh. Did he do any reading at all before taking the nappies? Mine were dry overnight at a young age and even I know it's not something you can train, it's hormonal. Did he not even do a basic Google search before putting his foot down? Send him some links.

My son wasn't dry at night until he was 6. No medical concerns, it just didn't happen.

We used pull ups - less bulky than nappies and he could pull them down himself if he did wake up.

It got to the point where he would be dry for 7 nights but, if we removed the pull up, he'd wet himself. So we just left the pull ups on for longer and tried every few weeks. Eventually, it just happened.

ERIC is a charity that specialises in toilet needs/incontinence. They have plenty of useful guidance that confirms that night dryness will happen when it happens. Mil is an idiot.

That’s good to hear. Every supermarket sells pull-ups for children and teenagers. There is no shame in not being dry, a child can’t control this. They do lovely ones with princesses for girls for example.

MIL needs to butt out. Don’t share so much with her anymore,it’s not 1965 and we have more medical Information and facts on bed wetting now.