Thinking it’s weird that his 18 year old will have the master room

I see @grizzleGrazzle hasn't been back to the thread.

You can't try to take somebody's bedroom off them 😂

She just wants it, doesn't matter for who.
It seems as a kind of dominance fight

Except the dad doesn’t want it, so no it’s just the OP wanting it and trying to demand it off someone else which is the definition of spoilt.

No the OP wants the bedroom for BOTH of them as a COUPLE. Was being a bit sarcastic as am tired of this silly thread.

YABU

Firstly, you are moving into his daughter’s home which is a massive change for her. Your priority needs to be in building a good relationship with her not alienating her!

Secondly, I absolutely wouldn’t be selling my house. That’s your security both for if it doesn’t work out and even it does financially it doesn’t sound like you’ll have any share in his finances. I would strongly recommend you reconsider and rent it out.

Sadly, that is true; they have no independent spirit it seems.

American kids are rather becoming that way.
Perhaps it is the cell phones. Everyone just lives in their own room, their own world and don't even talk to each other: I have noticed that with my adult kids raising their kids. They will pass each other in the house, heads bent and eyes on the phone in their hand, avoiding collisions with peripheral vision. The kids barely speak to each other, let alone the parents.

Watching parents today: with their kids; they don't seem interact much at all.

My generation never studied in our rooms, but at the kitchen table, or at the library; nor did my kids ever study in their rooms with or without the door shut, either, they always hung out where I was and talked with me about what they were studying and asked advice on so many things; we shared rooms, etc.

Parenting is an exhausting 24/7, why anyone would want to keep a kid at home longer than 18-19 years is beyond me. And I had four GOOD kids, no drinking, drugs, early pregnancies, poor grades, bad friends, etc. But they ranged in age so wide I actively was raising them, for for 32 years.

Probably long after they've died!

Leave his daughter in her current bedroom it's already going to be a big change for her you moving in and now you want to turf her out of her bedroom

Turn the guest room into a walk in wardrobe if you must but where will your dc sleep if they visit

I wouldn't rush to sell your house rent it out first to see how you all get along living together

I dated a man who shared an apartment with his young adult daughter (early 20’s) he pays 2/3 rent age pays 1/3 and she has the bigger bedroom. I thought a bit odd at first but she was at home far more than he was. Are ate meals and watched tv in her room whereas he literally slept in his do I do get it

You probably only sleep in the bedroom. His daughter probably hangs out there, watches tv, studies, had friends over etc.
YABU

💐

Don't sell your home, this may not last. Also if you were all moving into a new house together then you get it, but don't move her. I'd see it differently if she had effectively moved out, but she still lives there.

I 💯❤ the pissing in the corner comment!

OctopusFriend. I was so grateful. Took 2 years to get a flat . My DF was delighted I’d got a home at last but died of a heart attack in the small hours of the day after I moved in. He had been round to put some pictures up for me in the new place. I honestly think it was sadness that he would be on his own again. He did have heart failure but had been stable for ages. It was so horribly sad. But I agree my home is home for my DC no matter how cramped, if they ever need a roof over their heads.

That's lovely, and exactly what a decent parent would do. I hope things are going well for you now.
My children are adults, but my home will always be theirs. There will always be space for them.

My kid is my kid and she will always be my kid even when she's 40 and I'm 70+

I ended up homeless in my mid-40’s after an abusive marriage. My DF was then in his early 80s and asked me to stay at his till I got a council house. Volunteered his room bless him.

Notice OP only replied to someone who agreed with her anyways.

Kinda hoping that’s the case. Anyway this OP doesn’t seem to be coming back, so unless there’s another post from them I think I’ll shelve this one.

No I think its ok. She's obviously been there for a while and he's given her the big bedroom presumably because she has more clothes than him and also has friends round to stay. I don't think it's fair for you to move in and take the room, its a bit "wicked stepmotherish"..

I'm more concerned though your moving in to his very expensive house, your not married and your selling your house. If the relationship breaks down you won't have any claim and may not be able to buy a house again. Tha

@Sheri99 OP has had her kids: she doesn't need his to raise his spoilt daughter.

The daughter is spoilt because she happens to live in the room that OP wants, in a home that isn’t hers?

Don't agree at all. I had the biggest bedroom as a kid and never felt like I was the most important person in the house.

Like being able to move his girlfriend in. Have a bedroom and an office and overall say over the whole house.

The best bedroom doesn’t make you the boss or the most important person.

My daughter’s room is the same size as mine. I have say over the whole house though. Since it’s mine I pay for it 🤣

Who gets the master bedroom isn't just a question of practicality but also a symbol of family dynamics.

I think parents should of course be willing to make sacrifices for the sake of their kids - to keep them clothed, fed and happy. However, it can backfire if the kids grow up believing they are the centre of the universe and that they should always come first.

Things like the parents having the nicest bedroom is a subtle message that parents are important, too, and have their own existence outside their kids.

Sure, give your child the bigger bedroom, but then it might be a good idea to find some other way of gently reinforcing who is the adult and the ultimate decision-maker in the house.

This sounds pretty doomed if you've already started to piss up lamposts and get your back up because she has the so called 'master bedroom'...

From a logistics and practicality POV - she spends more time in her room, studies there, will likely entertain in there, relax in there as well as sleep in there.

You will use your bedroom far less, for sleeping in and getting changed in. You have the rest of the house for relaxing, entertaining, cooking, working/studying/admin. So you do not need the bigger room.

Keep banging this drum if you want to end up single or constantly at war with his daughter... it won't end well at all!