Do you think there is a correlation between kids who run about in restaurants and don't sit up to a table at home during meals

Those that don’t eat at a dinner table how do you get a child who is too big for a highchair to eat something like spaghetti? Does it end up all over the sofa? Not goady just interested in how it works in practice. When we go on holiday we really struggle if there’s no table.

Not in the slightest. I know a lot of people who don’t eat at a table (probably more than those who do) and their kids don’t run around in a restaurant. To be fair I don’t think I know anyone who lets their kids run round in restaurants anyway but there’s certainly no correlation in my experience and their kids are very polite and well behaved (the majority of the time).

I could have written this. Mine are early tweens now, and we’ve eaten a home-cooked family meal together at the table with cutlery and napkins at least once a day since they were 3 and 4, and often before that too. Some days they’re golden, but other times I could bloody cry at the amount of time I’ve put into teaching and showing them how to behave at the bloody table and they’re still up and down and messing and holding their knives like monkeys. My daughter has slow processing and she’s particularly bad - fidgety, knocking things over. So no, OP, you’re wrong, most of us are trying our best!

No probably not, a restaurant is a new environment with new people and it’s probably just over stimulating and exciting for them. Mine are teenagers now and I couldn’t pick out any of their peers who are unable to eat relatively politely at a table. Things that seem like the end of the world when they are little are rarely an issue later down the line ime.

Disagree. Both my children sit at the table for every meal and are very well behaved in doing so. They are not so well behaved in restaurants and struggle to stay put. But they are twins, so behaviour will always be more of a struggle

By all means you’re welcome to come to my house and find room for the folding table!
Christmas is when it depresses me most. But what can I do, I’m south east, where you get shoe boxes for thousands. I struggle to find room for a tree

Quite.

I'm also inclined to disregard the majority of what you said because you've used some kind of nonsensical phrase about "sitting up to a table".

Sounds like someone's being a misguided smug twat if you ask me. Back to the Harvester with you.

My daughter will sit and colour in and generally being an absolute model child in a restaurant. I had thoughts about sitting at tables too, which we do every day...
Enter my son who taught me not to be so judgemental 😂

I’ll eat a sandwich or snack in front of the tv, but wouldn’t dream of eating a cooked meal on the sofa or floor. I can imagine that grease, gravy, sauce, drinks or whatever would land on the upholstery or floor. Surely with small children running around it must be a nightmare with food covered fingers etc. A nightmare! There must be space for the smallest folding table, surely, or a little table in front of them to rest the food on. What about Christmas and other special meals? If children are not used to sitting quietly at a table, it’s not difficult to see that they’ll be running around a restaurant, doing their own thing. Saw a documentary about parents non conventional parenting methods, handing their children a plate on the floor in front of them. No cutlery, the children were pulling the food to bits. The parents were not poor or uneducated.

My DC are 21& 19 and when they were little most restaurants we went to provided colouring in/activity sheets & crayons. I see tablets as the modern equivalent of that. If it keeps the kids occupied for a wee while as they wait for their food what’s the harm?

I’d love a dining table, absolutely love one. We just don’t have room in our rental, like plenty of other families.
my kids were impeccable in restaurants though, we had activity books we would do together and games (I miss them now they are teens).

your coming across as very very smug “I’ve seen property listings”. Like we are some sort of social study. Thats a lot more polite than my initial response when I read your post.

Do you even have children op, or are you pontificating from your ivory tower?

Lol, my ovaries are still hanging on 🤣

We do have a table at home. We tend to sit in front of the TV for dinner. DD is brilliant in restaurants and is fully aware of the etiquette. The rule is, we don't eat in public the way we do at home as it's a different environment.

I don't think so.

My children have always had meals at the table at home, but one of them struggled to sit at the table in restaurants for long until he was about 6/7.

Was totally paranoid about choking when mine were small so in our house the rule was if you are eating your bottom is firmly placed !!

Very often that was in baby high chair or kids adjustable chair (Tripp trap) but could be on the sofa or floor. School age we always did snacks at the table as just less mess and I liked chatting to them at the tables

i couldn’t cope with thought of them choking if walking sbout - not having trails of raisins or rice cakes all over the house - so from weaning it was sit , then eat - if they got up - then food taken (not cruelly - but with a clear expectation of if you want more - you sit down.

never took mine to restaurants until they were old enough to sit and eat without our disturbing others. Always took crayons and books to help when younger but kept expectations low - certainly not expecting them to sit through a 3 course meal as they and everyone around them would be miserable.

if mine were little now I think I would use a tablet and headphones to keep them occupied whilst waiting for food / but not really available when mine were little.

kids running about in restaurants are a hazard to waiters and it is in my opinion unsociable to others having a nice meal having kids running around like it is a playground. I think kids need to learn that restaurant = sit and eat . It is not a place to play .

Consequently - we didn’t meat out with them until they were quite old as when they were little they just weren’t able to sit long enough (both kids have disabilities ) . I wanted going out to be a pleasure not a chore for us and other diners - so I waited until they and we could enjoy it .

I think my views are probably a bit old fashioned but it worked for us. As did reins that attached them to the high chair!!! Probably not a popular view but I felt it kept them safe !

I think the correlation is more linked to parents unable to entertain their dc or plan for a restaurant scenario or just control their dc in general (or toddlers who are unpredictable bundles of cuteness who make even the best parents look like they’ve failed on occasion).

I suspect the noise is annoying and that people generally feel that part of parenting is talking to your children, socialising with them, and entertaining them.

Tablets (even with headphones) = end of civilisation, but it’s totally fine for posters to sit reading MN on their phone during their meal.

I think the issue is children. People don’t want children to exist in the same places as them, but are aware that voicing this makes them look like miserable cows, so they focus on bitching about the tablet “performance parenting” (the parents speaking to the child), and any noise from the child.

Definitely no correlation.

Dc were the type to not sit down at home but would definitely sit down at a restaurant and through a meal.

Absolutely.
Oldest sits beautifully. Youngest really struggles after about 10 mins, and will then asks to go to the toilet, and ask again every 10 mins because she finds it really hard to stay still. There is no running, no shouting, screaming etc.
But there is a lap of the restaurant about every 10-15 mins. OP, I would love to sit for hours, but this is not the reality when you have a ND child. And yes we have a dining table

sitting for dinner at home is very different to sitting in a restaurant. My children all sit at the dinner table at home. But dinner at home is maybe 20mins max.
restaurants tend to take ages. Your expecting the children to sit patiently and wait for our order to be taken, then wait for the food to be prepared and served, the wait for the dessert menu and wait again for it to arrive. It requires much more patience plus there is so much going on around them with all the other customers, staff, the decor.
My children sit at the table when we are out but they do find it difficult and it takes a lot of effort.

THIS.

We have a table but rarely use it for family meals. Everyone likes to
eat alone in their rooms here ! On the very odd occasion we go to a restaurant my dc sit still and don’t run about so it’s not always the case OP that no table / family meals at home equals feral restaurant antics

We've never had the room for a dining table. Small living room and kitchen. My kids always ate in front of the TV, they were never allowed to run about in restaurants. Somehow they've made it to adulthood unscathed.