To ask why money is sometimes quite a taboo subject to talk about with other people?

To me it's personal. I'm self employed anyway and mine varies. It's also none else's business. I shop around, look for deals and budget because I want to get the most for my money. We've been abroad the last 2 years and have a nice home, kids are clothed, house heated and all well fed. I book fun activities in advance and take advantage of early bird type offers and the like. It doesn't mean I have endless amounts of money though and even if I did its up to me how I spend it. It only ever comes up when it's a big birthday for my parents, and one of my siblings decides we should all just chip in for a present. At that point though I have no issues in reminding her that we all earn different amounts (some of us full time others part time) and have different budgets.

See if this had been my friend group we would have been celebrating with "Mr "look at my lovely pay rise."" One of my friends paid off their mortgage last year and we spent the evening celebrating and they spoke about all the travelling they were planning on doing with the now free money. I didn't find it crass at all.

Asking advice about money is socially OK, but talking too much about money (especially if you have it) can come across as bragging, especially to those without.

But... talking about money within a couple is SO important to make sure you are financially compatible. It's the cause of many relationship breakdowns if people don't have the same attitude towards spending, saving and sharing!

I think it's ok to let people know if you can't afford something, and people should be considerate when planning stuff to be mindful/inclusive of those in a group who cannot afford things.

e.g. going out for a group meal and not just splitting the meal equally between everyone. I had this once and went out with some friends in London. The bill between 9 of us was over £800. As I was still a student at the time, I knew my budget and only had a vegetarian main course and tap water. They then declared to split it 9 ways so my £18 share became over £90!! It felt really embarrassing having to speak out!

Interesting question! We were taught/picked up that discussing money is vulgar, particularly when people show off about it. However I do discuss things like pensions and investments with friends because, in the same vein, that was never taught, and I'm personally sorry that it wasn't as it creates a kind of financial illiteracy, that has probably particularly affected women. Yet I still cringe to my core when someone in my office starts shouting on about how much her house cost and what amount she inherited from a dead parent; I just find that behaviour so crass.

Too many people don't understand the difference between secrecy and privacy.

I work in a public post with salary banding, so anyone could look that up if they chose. Otherwise, I will not be discussing money.

Don't see what the big secret is. Yes if the conversation came up 😂 they're not secretive topics either.

Yes actually, I wouldn’t think anything of telling friends I’m due on on Thursday so feeling really bloated today or we’re ttc and we’re in the 2 week wait or I’ve got a wax this week. My friends and family wouldn’t think twice about sharing this information.

I think money is only a big deal if you make it one. To me it’s no more exposing than knowing someone’s birthday or where they’re going on holiday.

It's seen as classless to talk about. Money doesn't define a person. And frankly you can be seen as a dreadful show off for discussing how much you earn, assets etc...

I remember once, on an evening out, one particular guy was going on about his pay rise, what car he was going to splurge on etc.. I knew full well that another guy that was with us earnt more than three times watch Mr "look at my lovely pay rise" had been promoted to. And , that he was silently laughing at at him for being so crass.

How can he not know what he earns? Is he self-employed?

There's lots of envy when incomes are talked about.
However we are very poor about taking generally about savings, interest rates, credit cards, which contributes to people's assumptions about others and again envy.
People can appear to be well off but actually everything is on credit. Conversely people who are frugal and save can appear less well off.
The embarrassment of talking about salaries should not extend to not being able to discuss how to manage money.
It amazes me when watching Martin Lewis how some people seem to know very little about personal finance and this is tied in to our embarrassment about taking about money.

It's too personal (to really get down into the nitty gritty of it), and not why I have relationships with people. If I want to know where I fit in or what is a sensible approach to something I'll look at ONS or discuss with a financial planner.

I've found that people who want to talk about it usually assume that they are better off than you (or the person they are referring to is), and do a lot of assuming all round. If you say anything that breaks these assumptions then that is generally not liked. I just say nothing when it is clear that people are making directly or indirectly making incorrect assumptions about my finances, sometimes it is clearly done to fish.

I'm in my early fifties and I could come up with a sizeable set of examples/anecdotes from the last couple of decades. My experience is predominantly women though (and always the lower earning partner, who can be almost desperate to pop into conversation that their DP earns well).

Have you seen the way that some of the money threads go on here? Especially when the OP is better off than average? People can be nasty and bitter.

I think another factor is that a lot of people place a certain element of pride/self worth in their income. When they feel their salary doesn't 'match up' some get a bit insecure about it. I've witnessed this with my mate who makes almost £70k driving a fuel tanker. Some people seem a bit disgruntled that a lorry driver should earn more than them as a professional in a graduate job so she tends to try and stay away from mentioning it as far as possible.

I think many British people find it vulgar to talk about money. I myself hate talking about it.

It's very cultural. I think in one Scandinavian country it's all online how much everyone earns. And in USA it's very much an open topic.

Make out I'm more hard up than I really am as I find money causes envy and jealousy.

I always wonder why someone would ask. Why do you need to know? Comparison and all that.....One good reason to avoid are family members asking for gifts or loans which is awkward. But do you feel better for knowing?At work its always a toxic question.

Another one who thinks it's ok to have a pop at those perceived to have money

DH and I talk thoroughly about finances. Anyone else, not really. Outside of my relationship,
I don’t have a curiosity for this kind of thing and would never ask someone specific financial questions and no one has ever asked me for this type of information.

I’ve always been open with my very close friends but as we’ve got older I realise I was naive. One friend is actually more competitive than I realised and she’d quizzed me several times in the cost of things or how much I had in my pension pot. I was then pretty pissed if when I heard she’d been telling others I’d been boasting about my pay rise or could they believe I’d spent whatever amount on my kitchen/holiday/new coat etc.

Im now very blunt about it and say ‘I’m not discussing money’

because some do not want other people to know - how bloody difficult is that to understand?

do you share information such as the dates of your menstrual cycle, or how often you shave your legs? Unlikely

I’m very open about money and would share my salary (if asked in good faith). But I respect how others feel about it and would not ask about their finances unless it’s clear they are open to sharing.

Manners dictate that money, politics and religion are not discussed in social circles. Younger people may think this is daft, but why should any of us share such personal things with the world and his uncle?
The whole 'i'm richer than you' crap on instagram, etc is pathetic - money does not buy class
And given the level of hatred towards those deemed as 'posh' on here, I'm surprised anyone mentions their incomings and outgoings at all
Religion and politics generally start fights/wars/genocide, so keep that to yourself too. Who wants to be accused of being anti - anything because you have expressed a view about atrocities/murder of innocent people and children?

It's vulgar to talk about money, some people will have more than you and some people will have less than you.

Those that talk about how much they have usually don't have as much as they want you to think they do.

My friends and i are open with earnings at salaries- I’ve helped them work out take home pay and with universal credit entitlement.

We’re on similar salaries and I think that’s what makes it comfortable- my friend on £70k though- deffo wouldn’t discuss with them