To ask why money is sometimes quite a taboo subject to talk about with other people?

It sounds like talking about money has directly caused you problems in your life/ relationships - but you still don't understand why lots of people prefer not to talk about it?

This is what happens quite often when people are totally open about it. And it's why people don't talk about it.

Yes - I would feel uncomfortable if money/salaries/pensions/investments/property values etc were brought up in conversation.

I think this is because I know people will judge me and my family. Also, I've had situations before where, once someone has discovered (nosily) that I earned more than them, they'd make little digs and it was as if I was never allowed to decide something was too expensive for me - eg and evening out, a meal, a holiday. They had stored that nugget away and would use it to make me feel guilty for saying no to things.

People can also be resentful and even jealous if they think you are better off than them, so it's much safer all round to keep off this topic. It works the other way too - they can look down on you if they are a particularly materialistic and shallow type of person.

There's no good which comes of telling people your financial business in a social situation. I can't think of any advantages. Can anyone else?

@Usedtobeslummy a lot of the information you’d like/ need is available online - salaries in industries, rent in areas, rates for savings and what’s available for kids etc

This. Grew up relatively poor. Felt inadequate and embarrassed about having comparatively little. I didn’t mind talking about money when I was kind of average. Now I have a DH that earns a lot, Id feel embarrassed to reveal how much, because I think it would cause others to feel inadequate or envious, and I dont want that for them, and don’t want to feel responsible for that (I know I’m not responsible for their feelings but I still feel it!).

I don’t see how it makes one uptight not to disclose their finances if they do not desire to nor it being necessary to tell people simply because others want to know unless it effects them.

I don’t understand why people think they have to/ should know such unless it is relevant to them.

I don’t need to know anyone’s finances unless I am going to be affected in some way.

If someone chooses to tell me, that is their choice but I don’t need to know nor think I deserve to know just because.

Because it causes problems.

No matter what people say, if you found out that your friend earns three times as much as you, it will cause a problem.

They don't, I just don't see what the secrecy or need to get uptight is about.

I don't think they have any consideration at all which is why they're perplexed.

'Awkward', 'Offended', 'Uncomfortable'.

Have you considered that some people may feel none of these things, but instead consider their money and finances to be an entirely private matter?

Discussing your finances can cause a whole heap of issues.
When close family or friends find out that you earn well or have a lot of money you become the family ATM. If you refuse to give them anything you become the devil incarnate .
Comparison and jealousy become the order of the day.

Just curious @ThisGreenDog are you a chatbot/ using AI? Your tone seems curiously reminiscent of CHATGPT.

Not necessarily😁 we have owned our house for a very long time, so it predates Zoopla etc…. Although as the houses around have all been bought and sold a few times, anyone looking would have a good idea of what sort of range it sits in. But no idea of what we actually paid.

Folks talk about finances in general, mainly for two reasons……….struggling to make ends meet, or desperate to know where they are in relation to peer groups, friends and possibly family.

If someone doesn’t want to share their finances, why should they if it is not necessary?

All a matter of opinion really.

I find it embarrassing when people talk about how well off they are, probably because my mum always said it was vulgar to boast about money!
I find it quite funny if someone gets something very expensive and feels the need to keep pointing it out. It reminds me of that awful Harry Enfield couple- considerably richer than yow!

I know that if I had lots of money I would avoid the subject. Too much experience of vultures and cheeky fuckers.

A pp said they down play what they earn to avoid jealousy. I do too.

I have a hobby which can become very expensive but the nearest place to me is in a fairly poor area so most of the people I'm sharing my time with don't have much money and mention not being able to buy what they need or having to go without to get it. The resources we buy are often very easy to borrow/steal from each other and I've often heard 'Ill just borrow one of Sandy's, she's rich she won't notice' so I also umm and ahh about whether I can afford it this week.

It helps that I'm not into conspicuous consumption, I probably have the oldest car out of everyone.

Is this a serious question?

Because money = value.

Talking about how much you earn looks like bragging if it is more than others earn or risks making you feel worthless or embarrased if you are looked down on by others earning more.

It's just crass because it is really a dressed up way of finding out where you or others are in the social pecking order of life.

It is none of your business how much anyone else earns or anything about their finances. Why are you so nosey?

Unless your intention is to help out someone who is in need of financial help it is nothing whatsoever to do with you.

There is nothing uptight and secretive about not wanting to share one's personal business

Clearly, no need for people to get up uptight and secretive.

It's crass and bad manners. The only types of people who bring it up usually wants to lord their finances over other people or they are on the scrounge for money.

Each to his own
One woman's vulgar is another's anything goes

Manners are going down hill and people don't seem to be taught them anymore.

I was brought up not to ask personal questions because it's none of my business and such questions may embarrass someone.

I work for government in a salary banded role so anyone in the know can find out approximately how much I earn. I often do school careers days and the kids always ask how much I earn and I tell them.

I would love to have more financial conversations with my friends. Not so much how much they earn but about budgeting, savings and investments/pensions.

I have recently found out that DB (single but a parent of a 20yo) earns significantly more than me. I am surprised because he didn't get past high school education and has drifted between low paying jobs. Good for him BUT I also know that he bleeds my parents dry, they mention lending him money and in the recent past have paid for improvements to his house and holidays and spend far more on his son than they do on mine - driving lessons, clothes, etc. I am trying not to feel angry at his behaviour but I think my parents are a soft touch and he's happy to capitalise on it even when he can fully support himself and his son.