To ask why money is sometimes quite a taboo subject to talk about with other people?

The point about envy is very interesting.

I've always been in the bottom quartile of earnings among my friends (due to taking time out to go travelling and generally prioritising balance instead of killing myself to rise through the ranks quickly), but I have always been happy for, and proud of, my friends who earn a lot more than me.

I would be devastated if, in the unlikely event that I outearn them one day, they were envious and bitter towards me.

I'm interested to know whether that is more or less than what you earn.

As long as people correctly disclose information to those who need to know then it really is nobody else's business.

Hmm, it's an interesting one. But I think I prefer the privacy. You only have to see the number of threads on here where people say "I know that X earns well, so should be getting us better presents/doesn't need the same support from our parents/should be happy splitting the bill/is being tight not going to the destination wedding" to know that the information sometimes just feeds misery.

Because it's crass. Whether that's just a societal thing, I don't know but I would never discuss or share that, mainly because why? What purpose would it serve?

I think that not disclosing information, whatever the nature, is a bit like a secret, in that it holds power, however slight.

It won't stop people guessing or making assumptions that may very well not be correct, but as long as everything isn't in black and white it enables people to make choices which better suit them.

People use the money they have to their advantage, use money they don't have but pretend they have to their advantage, use their lack of money to their advantage and often use their pretend lack of money to their advantage.

None of this would be possible if they were to disclose the true situation .

It's one of those topics that's on a 'need to know' basis. I used to have to ask people about their income, expenditure and debts in a previous job role, as the information was needed to best help/advise them, but other than that I have no need for that information.

FWIW money was earnt, not gifted/ inherited/ won.

This sentence by @RomeoRivers sums it up. A lot of people are bitter and jealous if others have something they don't, especially if it is felt they are not 'worthy' of it.

It is not just the having it, it is also the source of it that causes deep resentment. You only have to read the taxation and IHT threads on here to see how awful, jealous and weird people get about money.

It also ties into deep rooted resentment about class, lack of social mobility, education, opportunity and the North/South divide. It is hardly surprising that it is avoided as a topic of conversation.

One can get unexpectedly hostile and prejudiced reactions from discussions, it is best avoided along with discussions about religion IME.

I’m not interested in other people’s finances and so when people insist on talking about it, I smile and nod (but secretly think “and you feel the need to tell me this because….”. I don’t discuss my finances because what I have in my bank account doesn’t say shit about the person I am. I don’t see satisfying someone else’s curiosity about my finances as a responsibility of mine.

Haven't RTFT.

I find it exceptionally unattractive when a man you're dating talks about money. Whether it's showing off about how much he earns or alluding to struggling financially, it is a massive 'ick' for me.

It's true that women want economic security in a partner, but there are a multitude of clues/indicators that we're attuned to. Men should NEVER talk about their finances in early dating.

Frankly, it’s not your business to know my financial situation.

I'm private about my finances as are most people I know. It's important to share financial details with someone you plan to live with but that's it.

I’m do not want people to ask for a loan or expect me to always treat them, I’m not mega wealthy but certainly looking at stats for average assets by age I’m doing well.

I would never ever loan money to anyone.

It's one of the trio topics you don't bring to the dinner table alongside politics and religion.

It highlights the divides, more likely to bring about resentment. Flags up sensitivities and can open up our vulnerabilities.

All of my friends make way more than I do and I’m the oldest in the group. So for me it’s awkward and a bit embarrassing as I don’t have the funds to spend money like they do. It can be depressing at times so I prefer if we don’t talk about it.

Really? I can think of lots of reasons. Embarrassment if they don't earn as much as friends. Fear of looking like they are boasting if they out-earn all their friends. Worry that they will be expected to pay for everything if they earn more than family members. Guilt if they can't provide as much for their family as friends and neighbours and other family members manage to do. Guilt that they should be helping out family more than they are...

Any notable disparity between income could cause all sorts of emotions which is why most people avoid the topic entirely.

It’s only caused problems with a few silly people now that there is a significant difference; but for the majority of my life financial transparency didn’t impacted my relationships at all.

I think perhaps openness about money is only problematic if you have lots.

How much do you earn then?

Curious why people say this about the US. Not my experience at all. There are people that may discuss it but it’s bad form. Maybe it’s geographic?

That's the impression they give off but each to their own, everyone has different opinions.

It's because normally people with money figure out pretty quickly that when some people around them find out they've got money, their attitude towards them changes.

All of a sudden you get seen by some as a meal ticket, to provide them cash because you have money and they are deserving.

And what the people without money don't often understand is that often even if you appear rich, your lifestyle just expands to soak up any extra cash you might have.

There are other people around who although will not expect handouts will act in an extremely jealous way when they find out you have more money than them.

On top of it all, there is literally no upside to advertising the fact you've got money. What could you possibly gain from doing so ?

So yes, smart people realise pretty quickly that letting the whole world know about their finances is stupid, and that not much can really be gained from it.

Took the words right out of my mouth.

Tbh I struggle to understand why anyone would want to discuss their personal finances unless to stealth boast.

I think it's pretty rude (and a bit ridiculous if I'm honest!) to say someone is 'uptight' for not wanting to disclose details of their finances.

There are things that some people prefer to keep private. Health, intimate details of relationships, who they have a crush on - whatever. Privacy is a thing.

It doesn't make you uptight if you don't share every detail of your life all the time - in fact if you do, it probably means you're a bit socially inept!

Because talking about money is vulgar.
Because most people want privacy around their finances.

I wouldn’t talk about money with others. I can’t think why they’d need to know, or why I’d need to know about their income, savings etc. 🤷‍♀️