AIBU to feel I should have been invited? ***edit by MNHQ to say this is a reverse***

YANBU. It was rude to buy tickets without inviting you. At the very least, your MiL could have spoken to you about it beforehand and said this band is special to them so would you mind if they all went along sort of for old times' sake.

You have been married 8 years but this action seems to be treating you like someone who is not part of this family. To exclude you in this way is thoughtless and mean.

There are suddenly a lot of these very similar posts about a woman complaining about her MIL, stating that she should be the primary bond in her DH’s life/treated as part of the family/etc. The details change, but the verbiage is VERY similar.

Are they all by you, OP?

i'm literally wondering who the band are that they're going to see.

This is a sad outcome. You might think that you've 'won' as you've got your husband on side, but you really haven't.

This was, at worst, a very minor slight. But because you couldn't get your jealousy/insecurity under control your husband is now not getting to experience a fun day out with his family, your in-laws will be disappointed that their special gift has been marred, you have created an atmosphere with his family and he's been forced to take sides against his parents.

Your marriage is clearly very important to you, given your repeated references to being husband and wife. Possessiveness, jealousy and pettiness is not the recipe for a happy marriage. I'd take the time to really think about the responses you've received here and how you can interact better with your husband's family going forward.

Do you have any understanding of how controlling you are coming across?

Can you see how you want everyone to do things your way and with your approval?

Do you have any insight into how unhealthy it is to try to come between your husband and has family?

Can you acknowledge that it is good for you to spend time apart as well as together?

Is there any room for self reflection at all?

you’re literally his wife!

Is there any other way to be his wife? What does 'literally' serve in this sentence?

I would not stop him from going

Very magnanimous, to not stop him going! I wonder how you could stop him going?

They have always welcomed me with open arms and treated me like a welcome family member. So I'm hurt.

As you have always been included in events I expect you are feeling hurt.

You say that you get on really well with MIL, by that i'd say she never intended to leave you out, more just didn’t really take into consideration that you might want to go and wanted to have some quality time with her DC and DH at a gig

I disagree it’s rude completely. It’s a family day out for the 4 of them. If she’d invited another siblings partner or someone else outside the immediate family obviously I’d get it but I feel you need to calm down and have some perspective.

You sound really young. But have been married for 8 years. I can’t believe this hasn’t come up before. My husband goes to a concert every year -
same weekend - with his parents and his (single) younger sister. No problems here.

YABU. They are allowed to do things as a 4 just as you are allowed to do things with your parents and siblings without dh in tow.

This isn't about you but you are making it all about you. It's ok to feel jealous. It's ok to feel left out but you are making this so much bigger than it is. This does not have to ruin the relationship you have with your in laws. Plan a nice evening for you when they go. Them wanting a concert with their 2 children is nothing to do with their relationship with you. Yes you are his wife but that doesn't mean they cannot do something as a 4 once in a blue moon

YABU They wanted to do something just the four of them which is fine. You shouldn't have made a scene about this, it was selfish of you at your husband's birthday. However, if i was the MIL in this story, I would have told you beforehand that I wanted to do this for old times sake etc. Then you might have been more understanding. Although I doubt it considering the possessive nature of your posts.

Not unreasonable to be hurt. Unreasonable for absolutely ruining her husbands birthday. She's his wife she's supposed to be able to show him good time and deal with any issues away from other people in private not embarrass the poor fella

Good grief, I’d be delighted if my husband was doing something like this with his family, how lovely, and I’d not think I was entitled to a ticket too and I had to go. I find your view quite selfish and entitled.

Just a thought that sometimes a Mother can never win. Perhaps it was originally intended to take you but then the daughter would be left out..perhaps they tried to get 5 tickets but could only get 4. If they've always been kind why would you think them malicious?

I imagine they are making sure they spend time with him where he can be himself and not have to worry about upsetting his wife

This literally sounds like someone saying something at gunpoint. Unhinged!

I don't think OP is being unreasonable to feel hurt here.

Her MIL should have talked to her first. about what she had planned because she was leaving OP out.

My inlaws would never have done that to me or any of their children's spouses. Ditto for my parents. If they couldn't be included in a particular event, they would have at least had the maturity and consideration to have a conversation about it.

That's a very good point.

Another shot 🥃

Are we drinking at the words wife/married/wedding vows?

I think OP is right, if the sibling has no spouse but their son does, I would get OP a ticket.

But do not think you are valued as if you were their own child, you are an in-law. But about the ticket you’re right, it’s a bit odd.

How dare you, it's Wifey4Lifey.