AIBU to feel I should have been invited? ***edit by MNHQ to say this is a reverse***

You are not being unreasonable it's really rude and hurtful leaving you out.

I'm not sure if you mentioned.... are you married? Are you his wife? It's not clear.
He's allowed to do things without you.
You're not joined at the hip.
This would not have bothered me in the slightest.

Yanbu very tactless to announce this in front of you when you invited them over.
She had the option of giving you a heads up or asking if you wanted to purchase a ticket beforehand if they were short on money.
You are entitled to your feelings, I do think it's a bit rude, but also they could have told him in private and it would probably be less upsetting.

Grow up Op. stop making what was a thoughtful gesture into something nasty.

Yes, your MIL perhaps should have run the dates past you incase she was about to waste her money on tickets for a date your Husband couldn’t make. But that is the only thing she did wrong.

You don’t need to be included in everything just because you are married.

My MIL is married to my DH’s Step Father and he comes along to everything with MIL, absolutely everything. My DH gets annoyed as sometimes he just wants time with his Mum. Step Father is like a bloody puppy following along. He feels left out apparently which goes back to his childhood.

Did anything bad happen in your childhood where you were left out which may subconsciously haunt you now?

I’ve only read the first page and I’m shocked at the responses.

This is so bizarre to me - on no planet would my IL’s ever buy dh and his db tickets for the four of them to go somewhere and not invite myself and my SIL.

Utterly weird, passive aggressive and very very creepy IMO. My dh would find it utterly bizarre too.

Very sulky behaviour on your part. It’s your husband’s birthday gift, not yours. They are allowed to go to this event without you.

<jaw drops>

really? REALLY? Wow.

It was rude of PIL to announce the tickets at the birthday celebration but it was not rude to not invite you. They wanted to do something for just the four original family members and that's ok.

However the way you have reacted is atrocious, tbh I would be so embarrassed.

He has a mum and of course you come first stop saying you don't. But you cannot have it all your own way all of the time.

Out of interest how old are you? Because honestly you are either incredibly young or your own parents have made you extremely entitled.

Oh I love a good 'AIBU' 'Yes' 'No I'm not' thread.

Why bother starting this thread OP if you weren't going to listen? Lots of people have told you you're being unreasonable and it's fine for your husband to spend some time with his family of origin without you.

Can’t believe these replies, of COURSE the Mil should’ve told @checkeredboards about plans to at least see if he’s free, or to keep it free, plus then to ASK if she’d want to come too. If money an issue, it gives @checkeredboards the chance to pay for herself or decline.

i don’t blame her for being put out. She feels excluded because she IS being excluded.

I think it’s nice for them just to do things together, I encourage my husband to do things with just his siblings and mum without all the partners and children being involved.

YABU, this wouldn’t even bother me, MIL wants to go to a concert with her children, yes you’re married but they are HER children!

I think your getting a hard time here op.
I totally understand you feeling excluded and I too would have felt the same.
I think the way you handled it was the issue. I hope it sorts itself out

I got that they were married the first 100 times OP pointed it out, thanks.

So what? Married people are still individuals and don’t need to be stuck together 24/7.

My PILs would never have left me out like this. And my parents would never leave my DH out like this either.

You are an inlaw. Not really part of the family. No other partners were invited

I actually do agree with you that it would have been better for MIL to give her a heads up - and I'm sure it must have felt horrid in the moment to be unsure if you were invited/if you weren't why you weren't, particularly when you were hosting ILs at a birthday gathering. I think most people can empathise with that.

But OP has lost sympathy (i) by totally failing to understand why ILs might want to do something with just their son and daughter and (ii) for reacting so childishly and ruining the present and the birthday gathering.

Also, I don't agree Mumsnet always sides against the OP. I think people don't like OPs who post for views but actually just want validation.

Can see both sides I can understand why they would enjoy a ‘family’ day partners no matter how well everyone gets on changes dynamics and maybe they just want to remember times they had when your husband and his sister were children.

However can fully appreciate why you feel hurt and left out, I would be annoyed but I wouldnt give my in laws satisfaction of knowing it had bothered me. Certainly wouldn’t be making husband feel bad just put him in the middle and achieves nothing. I would just rant to brother in laws wife and have girly day with her.

I think this is so rude from them. Maybe if sister had a partner and they had left them out, but I still think this is scummy and I'd leave out the sis before you.

I just cannot imagine a scenario where either my PIL or parents would do this to either me or DH or exPILs for that matter with current DH.

Is he "allowed" to do stuff without you with his friends and family? If not that's a major red flag

They act very loving to me
Of course they do. What choice do they have? 🙄

Gloves might be off now though...

What?? How lovely that his family want to do something nice the 4 of them that they all enjoy, imo its perfectly normal for parents to want alone time with their adult children who they raised since birth.

It's Unhealthy to expect to be involved in every single thing and also to expect your husband to automatically side with you - you are each allowed your own opinions.

You behaved like a child, yabvu

Good grief OP. I’ve just read all your posts.
I don’t actually think you’re mature enough to be married. Your views are very much that of a child, and you sound like you consider yourself as owning him and his time just because he put a ring on it.
When two people get married, they don’t become Siamese twins. They are still two individual people, with two individual families and individual sets of friends. Did you have absolutely no identity prior to getting married? Did you only become a person after saying “I do”
They are your in laws. Not your family. They are HIS family, and his family wanted to do something together, probably for old times sake and nostalgia, by going to see a band they, collectively, as a family love. This doesn’t include you. You didn’t grow up with him and his sister.
Wait until you have kids. One day you might just understand when your kids are grown and married. 🙄

This. They could have let you know ahead of time or presented it privately. DH was in a no win situation, querying why OP wasn't included would have been rude but being polite was disrespectful to his dw. It is hurtful.