If you are mid to late 50’s

Struggling a bit launching adult children.

Mid 50's and ready to retire.

I need them to fly the nest.

@yeaitsmeagain is enjoying being really quite unpleasant across a few threads today.

I'm 55 and DP is 59. Children are all early to mid 20's and working.

We holiday as a couple now, have lots of weekends away and nights out at the theatre and gigs, meals etc.

We go out with the kids and girlfriends for an odd meal every so often but to be honest they are busy with their own lives and we rarely do much all together.

It's great.

You're scary.

Perfectly normal to fantasise about getting away. In fact I went off on solo weekends even when DC were little. So did DH.

I don't believe in spending all free time with your family until they are 18.
Or as one pp suggested, until they are 25🙄

Why are you fantasising about skipping ahead to where she's grown up and you can get away then? It's a bit odd when most people think they grow up too fast.

I feel bad for you with all the miserable posts. I have a pretty good social life. You will get your life back, barring any unforeseen circumstances.

We are, we had our kids quite young so they've both flown the nest.

We have quite a nice life! DH has retired recently and I work p/t from home. We are pretty active and are out and about a lot. We travel regularly both in the UK and abroad.

We have friends in the same age group who we go out with for drinks/dinner/comedy etc.

And you were practically living at your boyfriend's house at 17.

Weren't you close to your parents? Didn't you have GCSEs to study for at 15/16?

Had our first at 40, too.

He's 11 now, just started secondary and already so independent.

I've gone from looking forward to having a bit of life back to wanting him to stay little forever!!! 😫😂

Do you regret having your baby, OP?

Agree with this. I had my dds at 41 and 43, one is at university and the other in sixth form, and these past two or three years have been stressful in terms of giving them enough support . I love having teenagers as an older mother though, they are really good fun, but this is a very full on time !

Is it different with boys / girls I wonder ?

Not in my experience.

Is it different with boys / girls I wonder ?

Things aren't the same as in the past and it's highly unlikely you'll be having loads of nights out and city breaks, teenagers need you a lot and they can't be left somewhere or get a babysitter, you have to be there for them as they head out all over the place on their various activities and social lives.

There's a big difference between a 13 year old and an 18 year old though. It probably depends a lot on where people are living eg if you live in the countryside and there's no public transport it's harder but otherwise a young person of 16/17 really should be able to use public transport by themselves and also be left at home for a few days. Especially if the intention is that this young person is going away to university at 18.

Freedom.
Your dd will be 16-18. That is the busiest time for parents.

Yep same!

Mortgage paid off, we are both working part time/doing university courses or working for a start up at early 50s.

Life is good! People say I will get bored but I haven't yet.

I’m early 60s and DW late 50s. Retired a few years ago. Older children now finished university but youngest in year 10. We’re in good health (touch wood), no money worries and plenty of time to pursue our interests.

One of our older children lives at home (possibly a slight worry in itself!) so we can get away for occasional short breaks. We can’t go on longer trips as many of our friends do and won’t be able to until youngest DC is at uni. That’s just the way it is, and I wouldn’t change it.

Like some other posters - and almost all our friends - a big feature of last few years has been ailing parents. Not something that any amount of planning, money or time can solve - although they can all help.

I would prepare for real post children life to begin more like mid 60's.

Are we really saying that OP needs to stay at home without a city break until her DC is 25?!

You sound like you are resenting the current limitations on your freedom and it would be better to get to the bottom of that, rather than trying to look forward to being out the other side. Things aren't the same as in the past and it's highly unlikely you'll be having loads of nights out and city breaks, teenagers need you a lot and they can't be left somewhere or get a babysitter, you have to be there for them as they head out all over the place on their various activities and social lives. I would prepare for real post children life to begin more like mid 60's. But why are you wishing your life away, that's the real question.

I'm mid 50s. My only offspring lives with their partner, I live with mine.

Life is pretty good and thankfully quite stress free. The teenage/early adulthood years combined with menopause and taking care of aging parents nearly finished me off. I lost myself completely and it's taken a while to start to feel like me again.

We are fortunate not to have any major money worries and it's lovely to be able to do what we want and travel when we feel like it.

I'm 56 but I had my DC at 32 and 34 so they're mostly independent (though not quite financially because 2 out of 3 have disabilities). Apart from that I'm single, I have a job I love and a mortgage free home and cats and life is bloody brilliant.