Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think parents should bring babies to restaurants?

244 replies

BePoisedPlumViper · 27/10/2024 17:35

I get that parents want to enjoy dining out, but isn’t it inconsiderate for those of us looking for a peaceful meal?

Title meant to say SHOULDN’T

OP posts:
Touloosia · 27/10/2024 18:34

Depends on the parents for me, not the baby or child!

WhimsicalGubbins76 · 27/10/2024 18:33

Depends on the restaurant and depends on the time. If myself and DH go out for a romantic, late evening meal at a lovely restaurant, then no, I don’t expect to see babies out that late. But if we go for tea (6pm or earlier) at somewhere that also has a kids menu (like most places except for über fancy ones) then I’d expect to see babies and kids there.
Kids deserve to be treated to a meal out too, and families deserve to be able to eat out together if they want to
And, in case you think my answer is because I have young kids, mine is 18. Do I enjoy eating out with kids making noise around me? No. But that’s my problem, not theirs or their families

Jifmicroliquid · 27/10/2024 18:33

Babies were fine. Out of control toddlers/children, less so.

Commonsense22 · 27/10/2024 18:32

BarbaraHoward · 27/10/2024 18:28

If you're talking about an 8yo who's to going to sit nicely and enjoy the food then great. A newborn isn't that though, and in the amount of time the parents are going to take to eat a 7 course menu a newborn is of course going to fuss. Read the room. There are some places that aren't for small children, and like I said there are other options in our town.

You have to meet your DC where they are as well. Ours are 6 and 4 now and they'll sit nicely for a meal now but we did years of only bringing them out for brunch or coffee or maybe early pizza. A newborn isn't fine dining ready, you have to pause that for a bit until you can leave them.

I don't do fine dining but we took my 2 week old out to a lovely Thai restaurant. Newborns are fine because they sleep all the time. It's actually a special memory! Slept in the pram the whole time and was much admired.

Toddlers on the other hand are probably best kept away from fine dining.

PeloMom · 27/10/2024 18:31

@Flittingaboutagain mines a preschooler now but back when he was smaller and even now what helps is when we order our drinks we order his food. So he gets his main while we enjoy our appetizers/ main arrives. When he’s done and if restless I get him a scoop of ice cream and he’s quiet while we enjoy our meal. Once he’s done he’s content to entertain himself with activities AT the table Quietly. I think expecting kids to eat at adult pace and timing in restaurants is unreasonable (for most) and that’s why they act out🤷🏻‍♀️

SwingTheMonkey · 27/10/2024 18:30

BarbaraHoward · 27/10/2024 18:28

If you're talking about an 8yo who's to going to sit nicely and enjoy the food then great. A newborn isn't that though, and in the amount of time the parents are going to take to eat a 7 course menu a newborn is of course going to fuss. Read the room. There are some places that aren't for small children, and like I said there are other options in our town.

You have to meet your DC where they are as well. Ours are 6 and 4 now and they'll sit nicely for a meal now but we did years of only bringing them out for brunch or coffee or maybe early pizza. A newborn isn't fine dining ready, you have to pause that for a bit until you can leave them.

Unfortunately, whilst restaurants allow people to bring babies and small children, you don’t get to decide what other people do!

SemperIdem · 27/10/2024 18:30

Yabu.

There is a reason slightly older children in continental Europe generally behave better in public than British (and American) children - they’re not locked in the house and put to bed at 6pm until they’re 10. They actually participate in normal activities with their family from a young age and therefore understand how to behave.

bigageap · 27/10/2024 18:30

BePoisedPlumViper · 27/10/2024 17:53

It’s mainly the noise and potential disruption. I totally understand that babies can’t help it, but when you’re paying for a nice meal and atmosphere, it can feel a bit frustrating if it’s interrupted by crying or fussing. It’s not about their presence - just more about the experience.

Pay a bit more and got to an adults only restaurant!

Chenecinquantecinq · 27/10/2024 18:28

I hate the fact that Brits are so anti children. I am British but have always preferred it abroad where most countries don't have this hate of children taking part in life. I always took mine out from babies screw the miseries who whinge about children in restaurants😂

Cranarc · 27/10/2024 18:28

What drives me bonkers is when the baby is asleep and then the adults wake it up to coo and fuss, at which point it usually kicks off. Or if the toddlers being dragged out way past their bedtime are behaving fine until a relative chooses to wind them up noisily.

BarbaraHoward · 27/10/2024 18:28

SwingTheMonkey · 27/10/2024 18:23

But some people do take their children to those kinds of restaurants. You may not (and I wouldn’t because I don’t like them) but some people do. And, as long as the restaurant allows it, they are free to do it.

If you're talking about an 8yo who's to going to sit nicely and enjoy the food then great. A newborn isn't that though, and in the amount of time the parents are going to take to eat a 7 course menu a newborn is of course going to fuss. Read the room. There are some places that aren't for small children, and like I said there are other options in our town.

You have to meet your DC where they are as well. Ours are 6 and 4 now and they'll sit nicely for a meal now but we did years of only bringing them out for brunch or coffee or maybe early pizza. A newborn isn't fine dining ready, you have to pause that for a bit until you can leave them.

SuperGinger · 27/10/2024 18:27

I'm all for well behaved children eating out, but there are plenty of parents who do not look after their children properly in a restaurant and the kids behave atrociously. Parents need to keep control. The children / babies should remain seated at all times, if they yell, they should be taken out and they should be able to use cutlery appropriately. Taking along a book to read while you wait for the food is fine, devices are not okay in restaurant.

My own children are good when we eat out and the restaurant staff always comment on it, they are also adventurous with food and polite to waiting staff.

MrsSunshine2b · 27/10/2024 18:26

A baby, and their parent, has the same right to be there as you.

Some places do not allow children, most places need/want the money that comes from families dining out.

nosleepforme · 27/10/2024 18:26

I think ppl should do whatever suits them as long as they’re not disturbing me.
Assuming we’re talking upper end and not family style or cafe places: If you bring 10 kids who sit nicely and won’t ruin my meal then go for it, I don’t care. If you bring one child that will scream and shout relentlessly or throw multiple tantrums kicking my chair as I’m seated near you, then no, don’t bring your child.

Bulkypeepants · 27/10/2024 18:25

Fuck's sake, get a grip OP

Shityshitybangbang · 27/10/2024 18:25

Depends on the restaurant. What I can’t stand is selfish parents allowing their children to run around the restaurant. It’s So dangerous, staff are walking around with hot food and drinks.

Not a restaurant but I was standing in the queue at Greg’s today. Parents standing in front. Their two kids were putting fingers in packets of mince pies and other food on display, the parents never said a word. I stood there gobsmacked.

BobbyBiscuits · 27/10/2024 18:24

I can't say I've ever really seen babies in restaurants, except maybe on holiday. Or in a very kid friendly casual place like McDonald's, or maybe at a push pizza express. I'd say if it was me I'd probably avoid eating out with a child who wasn't old enough to sit at the table and eat and chat fairly politely and without too much mess. But I also think it's good to get children to learn how to behave when eating in public, so as long as they aren't making tons of noise I can't say it's ever bothered me.

Imjustlikeyou · 27/10/2024 18:24

lol there was a thread earlier about kids watching iPads in restaurants now another thread about should babies be allowed in restaurants - another classic example of how parents today cannot win. Uk sucks regarding kids, no patience, expect perfection. This is why so many mums have anxiety taking their kids out anywhere.

Tumbleweed101 · 27/10/2024 18:23

I think babies especially should be taken - before they get to the running about stage because they learn to understand the environment. I always took mine to restaurants as babies and I had many comments from other diners that they hadn't realised small children were there because they had been so quiet and well behaved. Those who did notice them often complimented us on how nicely they had sat and ate.

It isn't an accident. It is taking them to proper adult restaurants and conversing with them and not using tablets or colouring pens etc as a distraction.

Dabrat21 · 27/10/2024 18:23

What a grinch. It’s hard enough being a parent without society making us all feel so unwelcome and such a burden on everyone else for wanting to continue to procreate.

Crikeyalmighty · 27/10/2024 18:23

I remember being in that position many years ago and how hard it was to feel welcome anywhere , so I have no issue

SwingTheMonkey · 27/10/2024 18:23

BarbaraHoward · 27/10/2024 18:18

In the case I mentioned above, the restaurant has maybe 20-25 seats for customers and a tasting menu only with option of wine pairing. They've closed now so I can't check but I'd say £100 per head before drinks, and that's in NI where costs are low. No kids menu, no highchairs. No one would bring small DC there for dinner at 8pm on a Saturday night. We had two preschoolers and no family nearby so a night out was rare and we chose a grown-up setting intentionally.

A newborn arriving at the table next to us wasn't the vibe we expected, or had experienced on previous nights there. In a more casual place, sure, fair play to them (and casual doesn't mean shit, there's loads of lovely places here I'd bring DC to at any time of day or night that they were likely to enjoy). The mum (only the mum) did bring the baby out when she started fussing but even that is disruptive in a tiny quiet room.

But some people do take their children to those kinds of restaurants. You may not (and I wouldn’t because I don’t like them) but some people do. And, as long as the restaurant allows it, they are free to do it.

MellersSmellers · 27/10/2024 18:22

Its not children who are the problem, its inconsiderate and entitled parents who don't chose an appropriate time, venue, and who don't think about other diners. Provided they do those things, I'm fine with it!

Flittingaboutagain · 27/10/2024 18:21

PeloMom · 27/10/2024 17:44

Babies I’m fine with- never had issues with an uncontrollable or noisy one. On the other hand - toddlers/ kids that aren’t supervised and the parents pretend they aren’t with them while the kids scream and run around… definitely don’t belong in restaurants

I was so embarrassed when my friend let her 16 month old crawl around a restaurant floor to keep him quiet during our main courses. I had a 13 month old who was asleep in the pram at the time so hadn't considered how I'd handle a toddler who didn't want to sit still. Everyone was looking and in the end I said I don't think they want him crawling under their tables, shall we ask for our food to go?! I mean he was literally by people's feet.

I do think this trend for allowing toddlers and young children to "pick" and graze rather than sit for an entire meal is partly to blame for poor behaviour of some children in restaurants. They then have an expectation that between food you wander around playing rather than sit at the table playing/chatting. I now take playdoh, colouring and puzzles (all mini things) to restaurants with my under 3s. So far so good. We don't go anywhere that fancy and leave by 8.30 and it's fine.

Commonsense22 · 27/10/2024 18:21

If you want a peaceful meal, go to an upscale restaurant or go out in the evening. It's actually really important to bring little ones out from tiny to teach them socialisation in more formal settings.
I love taking my little one out for lunch or tea and cake. That said, the parent shouldn't let the children run wild or screech / scream.