Teens kicking off about nye party

If they have another option they really want to do instead i would probably allow it, but otherwise i think it’s a good life skill to learn to navigate stuff that’s just a bit awkward/not your preferred choice.

I've often over the years socialised with people I'm not that keen on, friends husbands/partners friends of friends.

My parents didn't have friends! Like none!

Yes, it's brilliant, the teenagers can set the house rules and pay the rent too. 😂

A 9yo does not need a babysitter, especially when their parents are in the same house.

Brilliant, I vote for this idea!

I had really outgoing extroverted parents who loved to host. I am deeply introverted. All of their friends had children of a similar age who I grew up with, so I knew them my whole life... but were not my friends. We had very very very little in common and it was always AWKWARD. Maybe up until about 12yo-ish it was okay but beyond that it felt so forced and horrible, especially on nights like NYE when it was a really really long time (my parents always hosted a dinner starting at 7ish so it was 6-7 hours 'socialising' with people I didn't have anything to talk to them about - some of them were in different social groups to me at school nd had friends that didn't like my friends (or even bullied them) etc which felt so uncomfortable. I don't begrudge my parents for it as now I'm an adult I fully understand their desire for a social life, but it was a shit way to spend NYE/Xmas eve/various summer evenings. Yes I moaned, and was called 'antisocial'.

It won't kill them and what sort of 9 year olds need looking after when their parents are in the same house

People on MN do lead very odd lives and seem to have missed sight of the memo about doing things that make you anxious reducing anxiety.
How do children make friends if they never meet anyone new?
How do any of you have jobs or go to any events outside your home if you only ever mix with people you already know and like?
Honestly it's like an episode of League of Gentlemen. A local party for local people.

it's not your kids responsibility to look after other kids on ny eve. i used to have people over but i'd never have thought of it as my kids hosting. or even me hosting. it was just having people over. the /hosting/ bit makes it sound like hard work.

hosting to me is on a tv programme or the olympics. (if you're actually hosting your new years eve and you're graham norton and it'll be on the tv then that's actual hosting (to me, anyway))

My parents did this to me a lot, either threw the party or ended going to parents friends with their kids.

sometimes it was brilliant but other times it was awful and so bloody awkward. One older girl was bloody horrible to me. I’d end up crying more often than not.

ive never done it to my kids as a result, but mine are ND so this would be torture for them.

I think it’s really unfair. They are not little kids
you can lump in together so you can get
pissed. Those days are gone

I still remember the hideousness of hosting and being hosted by my parent's friend's children. Not a great way to spend NYE or any day of the year for that matter, but worse on one that's meant to be fun.

I have a 14 year old boy and he often plays with younger kids up to 8 years old. His own brother only just turned 10 and they play a lot together .They play Mario games, overcooked etc or cardgames. He likes to take on a “teacher” role, and often the younger kids are really fond of him. So it is not impossible.

This also comes across as a forced babysitting situation. Quite selfish of you imo. It is their NYE too so should be up to them how they spend it, which may include being in their rooms or going to see other friends.

Yeah, this is definitely a forced baby-sitting set up.

It's hardly crime of the century or anything like that, but you are imposing an uncomfortable situation on your kids - of course they're going to feel put out.

The OP has said some of the children are as young as 9. No 14 year old relishes having to effectively child mind a child that young. Either the games will have to be lower age rated to accommodate them or the younger children will be exposed to games meant for older youngsters. In an update the IP has admitted she hopes the children don't want to stay with their parents.

Is there a reason they don’t like the other kids anymore? Or is it just they haven’t seen them for a long time?

In my family we are all introverted nerds… but so are our friends and their kids. So when we are visiting friends the kids are always shy at first and we have to break the ice a little, throw in some games and food. But then after a while they are getting into it, picking things up from where they were last time… and they don’t want to leave when it is time to go.

Tell them to either join in, make arrangements to go to friends or invite friends over to party with them.
It's your home, and I'm sure you do plenty for them. I don't think it does kids any harm to realise their parents are adults too, and are entitled to have a party.

So you admit you don't want any visiting kids to stay with the adults and you want to palm them off on to your kids.

You are perfectly entitled to hold the party but it is not reasonable for you to expect your teens to effectively take care of the younger children ie the 9 year old. If their parents are bringing them then the parents or you as host should be providing for the children too. Would your teens prefer to go to a party at another friend's house? Would you be willing to allow that? I would have hated to spend NYE hosting a bunch of other kids I didn't really know. I don't accept your line about it being good for them, at least be honest and admit it just makes your life easier. You get to party with your friends and the teens take responsibility for the younger people.

They'll get over it because life doesn't revolve around them.

This. 💯

I agree with this 100%