Teens kicking off about nye party

Am I the only one really struggling to think of films, or indeed games, that would work from 9 to 17?

The parents/adults can certainly have a party, and they can even invite their friends' kids, but they shouldn't be surprised when their own teens don't jump for joy at the news that said teens are expected to host, entertain, or babysit a random group of kids and other teens, when they have no say in who's invited.

It's one night, and a pretty traditional night to have a party! Why should the children always come first? And why shouldn't the adults enjoy themselves in their own home that they work hard to pay for?

Set aside an area for the children with games and movies, and get your teens involved in planning the non-adult drinks and food. It's a few hours for one night of the year, and time for the children to take a back seat to the adults' wants for once.

As a teen I used to quite enjoy my parents parties they held, having a sneaky glass of Lambrusco Rose (anyone else remember that), observing the adults dancing and listening in on their conversations. What I did not appreciate were the ones who brought along their younger children who got tired and were put to bed, sometimes in my bed. I agree with the PP who suggested let them join in if they want to for a bit then they can go to their room without any small uninvited guests if that's what they want to do. Otherwise pay them generously for their help.

I don't see why your kids should have to host other kids just because you want your friends to be able to have a party. If everyone was good friends, fine, but otherwise, no. You can 'make' them play host, but don't expect them to love it, if it's not something they think they'll enjoy.

Their change of attitude most likely has less to do with covid and more with their ages. They're three or four years older than they were at the start of covid! I wouldn't have liked being made to play the role of host. Having a bunch of outsiders in my home would've been stressful enough at that age without being expected to entertain the younger group.

I really pity your kids OP. They have told you what they think about the idea and you are not listening . They know far better how they feel about it than a load of internet strangers.
Forced socializing and /or babysitting . Very selfish of you !

Depends on if the adults want to get shit faced and rowdy. Then the kids need packing off into another room, with someone able to keep them were they need to be.
There's posts on here about DH/Ps wanting the OP to hang out with the WAGs of their friends, who they don't have things in common with and the consensus is usually, absolutely not. Children's personalities also differ. When I was that age, we could have a drink from 13, so we'd happily muck in on our babysham/cherry b/snowballs.

I'm surprised a 17 year old has to attend a NYE party hosted by the friends of their parents don't they have their own plans?

Just make sure op if they do join you for a brief moment make sure you are dancing 🕺🏻 💃🏻

the sheer look of horror on their little faces will be a cherished memory 🤩

Of course they used to love it they loved being around their parents and getting lots of attention

now you are embarrassing other adults are really boring and they choose their own friends

they are growing up that all have your party and let them do as they please join or stay in their rooms

It's less nonsense than the totalitarian 'my house, my rules' attitude of the post I was replying to. I was merely highlighting that young teens don't have much control over their lives, and listening to their preferences isn't necessarily spoiling them, just respecting them. Everyone living in a house should get a say, not just whoever is paying the bills.

Can your kids invite 1 or 2 of their closest mates round?

And can you set a room up - TV, games console, a lego set for the younger ones, dart board for the teenagers - so the kids have got stuff to do?

Or - can they stay at a friend's house for the night?

Will they be forced to share their rooms with anyone? Or can they still retreat to their bedrooms?

Basically, if I was in this position and wanted the party, I'd still do it - but I would spend sometime thinking of ways to make it as good for all the kids as possible. Things like setting up a film to watch in a room - so they have something to focus on.

I might go down the route of ordering pizza's for the kids - so they aren't forced to sit round a dinner table

• that sort of thing.

Even teens should have a glimmer of understanding that people as tragically pathetic as their parents need outside freindships, that socialising is important to a lot of people even if they're in their 30's /50's or 90's. Yes, it's their home, BUT it's yours too, and one night a year isn't a big ask.

They mightnt want to socialise with your friends or their DC. Fine. They can say hi, chat for a bit, be polite and welcoming then go to their rooms after a couple hours.

My younger son would have hated this, my older one would have been ok with it. I can remember forced socialising with kids who weren’t my friends and like my son I hated it. As long as they know they can go to their room if they’ve had enough then it should be ok.

How far are you going to take the whole "they didn't ask to be here" nonsense? They don't want to work so you will pay their bills until you die ?

Ugh I hate attitudes like this. My parents relished telling me how difficult adult life was, and how I could make all the decisions myself when I was an adult. So I am and I have, and they don't like it because I'm not making the 'right' decisions in their eyes. It's OP's children's house too, they didn't ask to be here, and at 13 and 14 they have no choice about where to live.

Fuck me this site never fails to stun me anew with the volume of people seemingly happy to raise socially stunted, anxious kids who never, ever have to do anything out of their comfort zone 😂
My parents would host/take me to parties such as this at your DCs ages and I would feel similarly anxious about going/seeing these other kids and then, lo and behold, actually end up having a good time😱

Can't they invite one actual friend to sleepo or something. Other people's children does NOT enhance your social skills.its just a shit night.

But the teens don’t have guests the adults do so actually the polite thing to do would have a polite hello then keep out of the way surely. Rather then invade another’s hosting.

But they aren’t the teens guests! They didn’t invite them…

Because when you have guests it's rude to ignore them. No way I would have been allowed to stay in my room if parents had people round, and no way would I allow my kids to do it either.

NYE is tricky for younger teens. We got massively lucky and were good friends with dd1s friends parents so we had parties we all genuinely enjoyed from 12 -15 then covid now they do their own thing.

This!

They will all be on their phones. No hosting required.

I'd say talk to them about how they'd like it to go. My kid is only 11, but I still see differences between his friends now - like when they were 6 or 7 everyone liked lego, the climbing frame and a few other toys. Basically you put some toys out and the kiddos just played together or side by side. Now they all have likes and dislikes and so maybe yes if there is some direction, aims, party games etc for them to do it would be ok, but they'd be lost at just chilling!