Teens kicking off about nye party

If you want to have a party then have a party but don't expect your kids to want to join in. If they don't want to don't force them to. It's their home so they can take themselves off to their rooms & do their own thing. I'm sure once everyone arrives & they see the other kids they'll come around & start mixing & doing things together. If you've set up a separate space for games, movies etc for the younger lot encourage your friends kids to use this space & mention to your 2 xxx is in the games room if you fancy joining them, then leave it up to them to decide what they want to do. Have you asked your 2 if they would like to invite one of their friends over to the party. This might be an idea so they have a close mate with them.

You sound fun!!

I absolutely did have to entertain my children’s friends parents for years between the ages of 2 and 6/7 for each child! Week in and week out for each child.

Yes really! They’ll be fine, and able to cooe
with their parents doing something for themselves for one night.

Yes I think the option to go somewhere else would be good!

If other kids weren't coming then having a few of your own friends for a sleepover would be fun but entertaining randoms truly isn't.

If I were your kids I'd be going to stay with Grandparents for a quiet night. It sounds horrendous.

But the friends don’t bring along their parents for the op to entertain at same time! I don’t imagine the kids are opposed to parent’s friends coming over just the kids too.

It’s an awkward stage - our eldest doesn’t get on with the children of our friends now they all go to secondary school together. It’s a shame but we just socialise as adults now. Last year he was willing to suck it up for us to all go for NYE but I don’t think he’d want to do that this year and that’s fine with us.

Well sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do, sometimes we have to regulate our own emotions. Neither of these things are bad skills for kids to learn. There’s so much pandering and prioritising kids demands these days I don’t think it does them any good at all.

And its ok to expect teenagers to do things like that sometimes. They are part of a family and being part of a family means sometimes doing something you don't particularly want to do for the good of the family, like parents putting up with their children's friends coming round all the time, or taking their children to visit friends or to activities.
Growing up I was often expected to do things like entertain smaller children that were visiting, or cook dinner when mum couldn't, or give up my bedroom for guests and sleep on the sofa or an airbed on the floor somewhere. It caused no harm, and taught me the importance of pulling together as a family. I expect similar from my children.

I think OP is expecting the 9 year old to be entertained by her kids so the kids are all out he way...

No, but they can be pretty annoying if you're 14 and want to do competely different things to you but you're all expected to hang out together for an evening.

Except a 9 year doesn’t actually need ‘looking after‘ ! They are not babies for heavens sake.

Bedrooms are off limits in our house, so they could always relax there if they need to.

That's a very generous offer!

Offering the bedrooms in your house as a sanctuary for the teens if it all gets too much.

Oh, wait, you weren't offering that were you? You just can't conceive of your experience not being everybody's experience.

I don't see how anyone can't fathom that a 13/14 year old might not relish the idea of giving up an entire evening to look after/entertain someone else's 8/9 year olds so the grown ups can have fun.

I think the scenario you have described is very different to the one the OP is envisaging from what has been said.

Some people expect 'the kids' to he kept out of the way so that adult conversation/fun isn't interrupted.

For teenagers who are expected to do that, it's not a welcomed social opportunity or a bit awkward until you've got to know people, it's an evening of being expected to entertain other people's children, keep them quiet and out of the way so the adults don't have to deal with them. Any boredom, poor behaviour, accidental breakages or spillages become something the teens are held responsible and told off for because they're older and the ones in charge and someone had to be responsible and the parents don't want to tell someone else's child off or cause a scene by addressing the parents, so the teens get it. And the guests aren't managing their children properly because they're a bit tipsy, and it's the babysitters job. Only the babysitters weren't asked, didn't agree to it and certainly aren't getting paid for it.

Don't pretend that it's the same as going to a party as an adult where you don't know anyone but can drift around the room making small talk with whoever you like until you find someone you want to chat with.

And, whilst I appreciate that there are lots of different experiences and Los of diffeent families, the crucial thing is that, in this case, the OP's children have said they don't want to be put in that position so they must have a reason to assume they might have experienced this before and I think, at their ages, it's reasonable to take their needs into account too.

Hmm saving I think OP IS expecting her kids to babysit the kids so they're out the way of the adults.

I find it staggering it would need pointing out. Maybe I have been lucky but my friends have always taken responsibility for their own dc. They will bring their own games, toys and things to do, they regularly check on their children and usually leave when they are tired or have had enough. No way would we expect teens to effectively baby sit them under any circumstances.

We take care of our children at family parties. Obviously at adult parties we all have babysitters, and it’s a different type of party sometimes. This is a family NY party and likely to be lovely and child and teen friendky with plenty of parents around to care for them.

I thought you were going to say they’re sick of babysitting or something. If thats not the case, I’d have a games/movie (whatever) room set up and crack on.

Tell your friends who are bringing children that they will need to entertain and make sure they have a good time, and not to expect yours to just look after them. It may happen that the kids all get along really well, which is what usually happens, but the visiting parents need to know they can’t just expect this and leave the kids to it while they party. Do you have a separate room they can go in to watch tv / play games without going to your kids rooms? Your kids would probably join in with them given the opportunity to do so at their own pace.

In this situation they do know the other children as they've been to parties with them before so its not really strangers or even vague acquaintances as they'll have played with them when they were younger.

But I am going to a party this weekend, for the whole weekend, and I don't know a single person there apart from my partner. It'll be awkward at first but I'm sure I'll have a good time in the end. Many times I've got to events where I don't know anyone, or just one or two, that's quite normal I think.

You are right this thread is the epitome of precious parenting.

You can see precisely how these children are like Veronica from Willy Wonka, they are not encouraged to try new things or move out of their comfort zone ever. Likely to grow up rigid, inflexible and struggling to make and keep friends. A few hours socialising once in a blue moon will not harm them at all, particularly if their own chosen friends are also there!

Bedrooms are off limits in our house, so they could always relax there if they need to. Jeez. No wonder our generation is called ❄️

Anyone would think 9 is a baby, my almost 9 year old nephew and 12 year old son get on great, they play games, go on the switch together and my almost 14 year old is perfectly able to spend a few hours in the company of nephews, nieces, cousins and even his older brothers little sisters once in a while

There could be a couple of children around the 9 age for all anyone here knows who'll keep each other company

No wonder so many children refuse to try new things or anything they don't like judging from some of these posts

Yup. At that age I expect they'll want to go to a party with their actual friends/peers, rather than entertaining some younger kids they barely know (realistically, are any but the youngest kids going to come?)

but OP has said they have a social life - with their own friends!
They (understandably) aren't bothered about making friends and socialising with a 9 year old child when they are 14....so why would they put in effort for something that they don't want?

😂😂

Have you seen the age differences 9-17? I can tell you now they won’t be making friends.
it’s not a cordial come say hi and eat food. It’s you lot stay out our way and amuse yourselves, and if you can make sure the young ones are okay too great thanks.