Teens kicking off about nye party

All our NYE parties were like that from being about 12 until old enough to go to the pub on my own. Bonfire night was often similar but with a different crowd.

It was always better than our parents having a party without their friends bringing their kids.

We'd normally get to pick some nibbles and drinks and sometimes we'd have a film too. We'd be allowed some bucks fizz at midnight and as we got older maybe a beer or something earlier on.

Like another poster I dated one of the boys for a while.

I'd just crack on but set things up so that your kids don't have to do too much hosting. Lay stuff out for people to help themselves etc.

What are your actual expectations op? That the kids all disappear all night so the grownups can drink and relax, only appearing at taxi time? In which case it's a lot on two barely teens to handle the dynamics of that age range

Aaargh! It gets up my nose when adults drone on about 'hosting', never mind foisting the term on teenagers.
Regardless, I'm sure the majority of them will sit gawping at their phones if they're not feeling it, and the younger ones can play Roblox or something.
I wouldn't be altering my plans because of anti social kids.

I was an anxious teenager and this would have been an absolute nightmare for me. Have the party but don’t force them to participate!

Lock 'em.in the shed for the night.........

I wouldn’t pay any attention to them! Just crack on…

This.

You are giving your dc far too much power / control. You are the parents. It is up to you if you host a party. They can join in, or sulk in their rooms, but don't let them prevent you being sociable.

Where are they expected to do the hosting? If you are expecting them to take them off to a separate part of the house then I don't blame them at all. If you are all wandering around together I don't think that's so bad.

The teenagers are too old for this.

Just have the party and let the kids do what they want. If there's going to be a group of children and yours don't join in the others will still have each other to hang out with. Chances are yours will end up socialising anyway.

When we were at this kind of gathering all the kids were mostly in one separate room gaming together on the kinds of games you can play together, so they had fun.

We used to do this and it was always a little awkward to begin with. Initially they'd all be on their phones with no real interaction, but they soon started talking or playing the xbox/pool/darts.

We'd have a pinata rammed full of sweets and chocolate and even the older teens joined in.

I miss those days

Parents’ friends’ kids of a similar age was classic first kiss territory for us as teenagers! Figuring we were both 13, getting on a bit to not having kissed anyone and known each other all our lives so why not have a “practice” together 😂.

Playing spin the bottle upstairs while the parents did god knows what downstairs. Sneaking a beer up and pretending to like it but secretly pouring it down the sink.

Kids these days!

Can they not invite at least one of their own friends each from their own group? At the very least I'd make sure they knew they were allowed to go to their rooms if they wanted and those rooms are out of bounds for the other children. You're hosting the party so all other guests should be confined to communal areas, not your teens private spaces.

As long as they are polite and say a quick hello, after that they can retreat if they wish, it's their NYW too. That's what I do with mine anyway! (And no expectation from other parents to 'babysit' their kids!)

Your kids sound like a bit of a buzz kill sorry to say.

When I was a teenager, my parents decided if people were coming around and my brother and I had to be polite and socialise. I think it's important for teens to do that and get used to talking to people of different ages or that they don't know that well.

YANBU, its especially important these days for children and teens to spend time socialising in person, practicing their social and conversational skills. And its normal to have to suck it up sometimes as a child, my parents hosted parties, and took us to parties, often we'd know absolutely none of the other children but we'd hang out and get talking and it was nearly always fun in the end. There's a lot worse things to have to do than hang out at a party.

At least all the kids know each other...when I was 13 (early 80s) my mother was excited because a new work colleague of my father - who also had teen kids - had invited us all around to his house one Friday evening. We'd only been in the country a few months and my mother was keen to make new friends...

Turned out the new work colleague was selling Amway (MLM). The whole evening was basically him trying to recruit my parents into selling fucking Amway products. We obviously weren't the first victims of this ploy...his kids were disinterested in us to the point of rudeness and once their father had dragged my poor parents off to give them the marketing presentation they basically ignored myself and my two brothers. We had to sit in their 'play room' for 2 hours with them refusing to speak to us. I can still remember how livid my mother was afterwards!

If you have the space, let the guest kids all gather in a separate room and entertain themselves. Your teens can mooch in and out for food, which you provide separately for the non adults in that room. They will go where the food is and will probably hang around for a bit.

It is OK then if your two eventually want to dodge the other kids who can entertain each other while you and the adults get hammered in the kitchen/diner and swing out of a few lampshades while you're at it. The teens can play on their phones etc. in their own rooms.

We’ve pretty much always had a party at ours for NYE as it’s one of my children’s birthdays and we’d have felt bad leaving them.

But actually most of our friends did choose to leave their children with babysitters if they could.

Having said that, I would expect my kids to just get on with it for one night.

My guess, even if they're told they can spend their night in their rooms, is they'll soon get a knock on the door from parents looking to impose the younger children on them.

Nothing like some forced fun to build bonds.

I do kind of get where your kids are coming from but I think if you make it more planned out so their not just hanging around trying to make conversation it will be better

My parents used to do this when I was a kid.
It was usually so they could all get really drunk whilst I was lumped with looking after the 8/9 year old kids of my parents friends.

I mean, it does suck for them to spend the night strong-armed into playing host for children who aren't their friends, particularly when the ages range from 4 years younger than them to 4 years older. No 13 year old wants to entertain a 9 year old, nor a 17 year old, let alone both at the same time.

You can absolutely tell them to suck it up but I'm not surprised they're dreading it.

I think they should have to join in, just think of how best to reduce any awkwardness. Worth noting how much social interaction by teenagers is not face to face in the way it probably was when you were young.

I bet hosting anyone in your own house would be some people's idea of hell, if some of the threads on MN are an indication. However, you enjoy it, and I hope it goes well.

I think you are giving your kids too much control. If they don't want to attend the party they can stay in their rooms or go out to a friend's house. I would make it clear that they are under no obligation to host anyone but you will be having a party because you would like to.