Teens kicking off about nye party

My daughter would react exactly like this. I’m assuming they’re teenagers? Don’t force them to include themselves and “babysit“ the other kids as you will be the one that will be the brunt of this. Just let them opt out and stay in their rooms if they want to and make sure they know that they don’t have to participate if they really don’t want to. it gets more difficult to inflict this kind of thing on teenagers as they get older, they wouldn’t thank you for it so don’t force the issue

Sorry @CleansUpButWouldPreferNotTo I think I confused your post with another. My apologies :)

Absolutely this.

‘Do you know, it is quite possible to enjoy an alcoholic drink at a party without getting drunk. This may be a novel concept for some’

THIS patronising tone

I think there is a consensus emerging.

Most pp seem to think it’s okay for you to have the party op, but the teens should be free to join in or not join in if they want. Yes they have to be polite and greet the guests and make them welcome, but after that they are free to do as they like. You should make it clear to your friends that teens may or may not be around, and they can decide if a babysitter is a better idea.

Children are not performing seals 🦭
Equally good manners and etiquette are important and universal life skills.

What patronising tone? I am merely pointing out that having a party at which alcohol is served doesn't necessarily mean that people will get drunk, as per my earlier comment:

Where are you getting "excuse to get pissed up" from? There is no indication of that in Op's post. Not everyone uses NYE or a party as an excuse to get drunk! Perhaps you do and can't imagine anyone acting in any other way? But Op's 'bit of a party' with children invited too really does not sound like any adult is going to over-indulge and get falling-down drunk. She is concerned about her teens and hoping they will use this occasion to socialise a little as they used to before covid. There is plenty of time before NYE for her teens to either accept the idea, or make other plans.

..so why would they put in effort for something that they don't want?

In a few years time, I expect op would rather not have teenagers partying in her house, and gfs/bfs staying over. She can just say no then, can't she, because her house is her safe space, and why should she put in effort for something she doesn't want?

all this for the sake of a nye party. Jesus Christ. I’m pretty sure your overreacting

No but it looks like OPS kids can't escape to their rooms, they're expected to entertain the visitors.

Mine ND kids would hate it but be fine if they could hide in their rooms. It would be horrible expecting to host kids and have no where to escape.

None of my children, even the ND ones need the whole house to be a safe space . NT children who haven't suffered abuse don't need their house to be a safe space from a new years eve party with people they know , fucking hell

I was totally with you until you said that you would be really annoyed if they didn't join in, but you lost me at that point.

It's fine to host a party for your friends, obviously. And it's fine for you to tell your friends that their dc are welcome. But I don't think it's reasonable to expect your own dc to host the dc of your friends if they don't want to.

I think you should tell them that the party is happening, whether they like it or not, and that your friends' dc are invited. They don't get to veto that. If they want to join in, you'd be delighted. If they want to hang out in their rooms, that's fine. If they want to make plans with friends, that's fine too but you won't be available for taxi duty.

I imagine that some of your friends' dc will have better things to do in any case, especially the 17yo! Most young people want to spend NYE with their friends at that age, rather than hanging out with a bunch of their parents' friends and their dc.

You would ask a 13 year old if you can have a party in your own house?? I think I have honestly heard it all now!!! 🍪🍪

How did you are on here spouting so much judgment and you don’t have kids, teens or otherwise.

Totally agree Agent. And I don’t think treating teens like people and respecting their views as you would your spouse or friends rather than children to be told what to do by you means you are a wet indulgent parent and they will never learn social skills. That’s a total reach.

I think you should have asked them. As an adult would you be ok with your partner inviting people on NYE to your gaff and be expected to socialise with them? Just because x,y and z happened in the past doesn't mean it will be ok now. I think your children are at an age where if you want them to entertain your friends kids, they should have been asked.

Clearly more than you, because as I said: you've proven once and for all your opinions on this topic aren't worth listening to.

I'm not going to reply to you any more, so don't waste your time.

What do you know about parental decisions exactly given you have never made any! 🤷‍♀️

I wasn't aware you got an NVQ in the labour suite..?

And yet you feel qualified to repeatedly post on here 😳 and judge others…

I don't have kids...

I really don’t mind that you disagree but honestly stop making your kids so anxious! Expose them to new experiences so they can manage real life.

@Savingthehedgehogs Safe spaces should be banned, as they create even more anxiety!

Tell me you don't know what you're talking about, without telling me... At least you've proven once and for all your opinions on this topic aren't worth listening to.

I am invested thank you for noticing, why? Because I see parents actively damaging their children by not encouraging them to socialise, to learn the life skills. I feel like this lame view that if diddums doesn’t like x, y and z then the event/party/holiday or whatever else must not happen, despite the fact most teens enjoy these things when given the chance.

What you end up with is a generation of children and soon to be adults that are lazy, lonely social incompetents without basic manners or awareness unable to try anything remotely new or different. It’s very worrying. They end up very anxious and unable to tolerate real life. Poor mental health, stunted and narrow lives, I see the outcomes of this parenting professionally. So yes definitely invested in outcomes for children and teens.

Let them live, learn, meet new people and push boundaries and gain self esteem and self respect. Safe spaces should be banned, as they create even more anxiety!

Did you? I think most the time at those ages it was the friends I made with kids the similar ages that I routinely hang out with.

Bit different, eh? First off, you were a parent of small kids, so that's part of the deal. You chose that. Second of all, as an adult you had the ability to say no, we're not going to have Sam and his mum over this week, I'm too busy. So you didn't have to. Third, 2-7 years olds are one thing. I'd put money on you not entertaining your teenager's friend's parents week in and week out. And finally, and probably most importantly, you're not talking about a NYE party..!

You are weirdly invested in this thread, you must have posted about 50 times.