Arguing with an old lady

Yep this- I think sometimes people are trying to provoke a reaction, don’t give them the satisfaction.

No you are not wrong but you are the only one who feels bad about the interaction, she couldn't care less, so you are actually annoying and bothering yourself more by stewing on it - she won and you let her, as she was the one who went off laughing leaving you seething. I'm petty and would have pushed all the buttons in between so she had to stop at every floor, whilst loudly explaining to the children about respect and kindness and waiting our turn ;-)

Sounds like you acted and spoke without any issue. No issues speaking up infront of children if done so in the right way.

After the smug smile I would have hit every single button on the way up so it stopped at every floor before it arrived at hers. I would have smiled smugly each time the door opened.

(Also I am kidding for those who think I’m being seriously…maybe…)

Yes, she was rude, and you were in the right.

Still,

She got out of the lift and laughed at me and walked off.

I can't help admiring the way she dealt with someone arguing with her.

This is brilliant I'm going to remember this!

Years ago someone once said to me that he calls these 'chuckle moments'. All you can do in situations like this is chuckle to yourself that these people need small moments like this to make themselves feel better in life. Their lives are so patheticly meaningless and miserable that the only way they can feel good about themselves is by causing small bits of selfish inconvenience to others. Let them get on with it, and just chuckle to yourself.

She was old, you had two young children. She was behind you, so should have waited. Explain to your child that the old lady was in the wrong. Being older doesn't entitle her to have it all her way. If she was struggling, or using an aid or a wheelchair then that would have changed things.

I am afraid I don't believe you

Then why on earth are you posting repeatedly on the thread? If you're right and she's lying, you're wasting your time; if you're wrong and she's not, you're being rude and hurtful.

I think you're just mad she got the better of you and didn't give two hoots about you trying to upbraid her. You get entitlement at all ages but I really wouldn't want to go through life challenging each and every occasion. You'll be walking around permanently indignant. Let it go.

I am old! One of things I've almost perfected with time is to pick my battles. Rail at injustice - yes. Stand up for the little guy - yes. Women's rights - hell, yes!

An extra 40 seconds in a lift? Nah.

This. It's exhausting standing your ground for every little thing and I don't think an elderly woman who didn't really hurt anyone is a great opponent to stand up to. Yes, of course, you were right and she was wrong but does it really matter? There will be other opportunities to teach your kids to stand up for themselves.

Having said that if I'd been in your position I'm not sure how I would have reacted. It's easy to say I'd have just laughed it off but I can imagine thst if I was exhausted, frustrated or in a bad mood I might have got peeved at her as well.

Well done OP. Think I'd have aimed the buggy accidentally clipped her shins in the confusion, what with both of us thinking we were first in the queue at the lift doors. Swivel wheels can be so difficult to manage in crowded areas!

I’ve personally dealt with WAY more rude elderly and middle aged people, particularly women, than I have younger people. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve met a few really rude and nasty teenagers, but generally I tend to find older women the worst, especially when I worked in retail and hospitality, my god they were entitled and just spoke to me like shit most of the time, just my
personal experience though obviously.

I’ve had a similar situation to you recently, I’m 9 months pregnant, and had my 3 year old son holding my hand and 2 year old step daughter in a stroller waiting for the lift in the Bullring shopping centre in Birmingham. Obviously not in any state to be trying to pull a stroller, a three year old and my very pregnant self up the steps, so we’d been waiting for the lift for a while, when it came a middle aged women, her husband and their 10 year old son literally pushed past us and got into the lift, and didn’t make any room for us to get in. I was SO angry but didn’t want to start shouting at them in a busy place with two kids with me, so I just muttered some profanities under my breath at them hoping they heard 😂

I’m over 70. The older lady was rude and entitled. How dare she. You have a lot on your plate and just don’t need this behaviour from anyone.
I just hope no one calls me an Old lady or elderly or a pensioner. I’m me and am only 25 in a 70 year old body.
I’m sorry you had to put up with such a rude, entitled. Non empathetic person. You deserve better. X

She sounds typical of most of the older folk I come across tbh.
That said, my own mum is over 80 and in that situation she'd have waited back, went in the wrong direction first and smiled at your kids, despite probably not having the energy (due to illness) to do so. The lady was cheeky but please consider that some older folk might be struggling more than they let on. Of course anyone could be struggling, but pride can be more of an issue in older folk.

Is your H bring ironic perhaps? Because society quite literally does. It's called retirement pension in the UK. You work while you're young and able and pay into the system then 'the world' provides you with a living when you no longer can. In societies without this system elders are looked after in different ways. Few places in the world have the negative and resentful attitudes to this as some seem to in the UK though. This is of course irrelevant to rudeness. Your MiL shouldn't be deliberately rude.

DH and I have said for years some older people think the world owes them a living.

My own DM at 70 said “I’m old now so I can be as rude as I like.”

Good parenting OP! You need to show your kids how to stand up for themselves. That old woman was wrong.

you didn't still assume those things when you wrote your first comment patronisingly advising me not to make assumptions. Like you said yourself, you couldn't be sure, but you acted like you were.

You aren't reading what I have said. There is a big difference between an informed inference BASED on what you have said and a true assumption with no information. My inferences were all likely and based on what you yourself had written. I didn't "act like I was sure" because if you are able to read, you will see I clearly said inference and in respect of the childbearing age, I said it was a probability. I was right.

Just like you couldn't be sure when you said there was ZERO chance of me having any sort of health reason to not want to stand around for long periods of time. Notice you didn't bring that one up again like you did the others to back up your point

Well I was hoping to avoid it but given you have raised this, I didn't respond on that point because I am afraid I don't believe you & wanted to avoid telling you that I thought you were lying as it was unnecessary. Both because of your defensiveness (which on at least one issue was proven nonsense) and the vocal nature of your posts & attack on this woman for just wheedling her way into a lift before you that fitted you both. Who cares? You a great deal apparently enough to get in a row with her. I stand by my opinion that I think that if you had a health reason you would have not just said this to the "old" woman and in your post here but made a Big Thing of it. Sorry but just my opinion.

It was a dick move of her to ask whether you're going up or down if her intention was not to offer to go in your direction first. If she was going to be selfish, then she didn't need to bring attention to what she was doing; just press the button and get on with it. I think once you identify that you're in the presence of an asshole, explaining to your kids that it's polite to wait your turn, whilst side eyeing the queue jumper is probably a better approach than trying to confront said ahole.

don't worry, to a 4 year old, all adults are old, they probably don;t have that much distinction😁

Come on OP - you could argue for Britain !