Grown man posting too many selfies

So he’s not like you, so that means he’s wrong?

God people are so judgmental and pearl clutching about the way others behave on social media these days. It’s the acceptable channel for snobbery which isn’t tolerated elsewhere.

It’s a bit cringe but a “red flag”? Honestly some of you have led very sheltered lives if you think this is a red flag.

If he’s an otherwise good man I don’t see the problem. But it’s up to you whether you can tolerate it or not.

Well - you don’t like the selfies and think he might be showing off in an immature way. That’s not a basis for a happy relationship.

Being insecure isn't a red flag though. Red flag is so overused on MN.

Report his behaviour? Who to? Half the SM population post selfiea on a regular/daily basis.

Weirdo alert!
I would report his behaviour just to be in the safe side. He is probably testing the waters see if you would be interested in a sexual encounter.

Avoid him like the plague. He is probably a narcissist.
Friends who do this kind of thing are to be avoided, too. They are puerile individuals who have this craving for being always the center of attention.

Would put me off personally - the odd one or two fine but self promoting every day? Unattractive...

I think it’s definitely a red flag. Either it means he is self-obsessed, therefore he won’t be giving the attention and mutual respect that a partner deserves, or it means that he’s insecure and needs the validation from others on his pictures.

To me it equals self obsessed. Big red flag and a massive ick to boot.

That would give me the major ick. I'm single and not dating, but one of my prerequisites is that someone isn't glued to, and obsessed with social media. I find anyone who posts constant selfies to be completely full of themselves, and can't be doing with it.

absolutely nothing to suggest he does this - jeez, I think you should end this relationship for his sake. I don’t think I’d want someone I’d only been with for a couple of months to be so nitpicky over my life and bitching about me on the internet. How you’ve jumped from “he posts daily selfies” to “and probably gets his bits out on the internet” so quickly is amazing really.

Yep, red flag I'd say. Do you know if he's also posting pics of his "full package"?

Vain and naff. I have a 60yo relative who posts pouties like a 15yo. She's been muted by most of us family as we all find it ridiculous that she needs the daily endorphin/validation from her huns.

Super cringe behaviour for both men and women.

I would never post a selfie on SM (OK don't have SM but anyway). If my DH who only has LinkedIn would start to post selfies I would check if he was going mental. Even my adolescent sons don't do this! For a grown man in his forties to do this it's quite pathetic. Teenagers do this to get validation. I would not waste my time on someone who is either in love with himself or so insecure that he needs validation on social media. 🤢

I’m old. When I first became aware of selfies, I took loads- but never posted them. I wonder if he realises they are a bit naff! Tell him.

Would find it cringe if he was posting them directly to you but at least you could have a conversation about not needing to send them.

Posting them to stories is for attention and he probably has multiple people from whom he's trying to seek validation. Grown men in their 40s don't post selfies for their friends and family. They are for other women.

It massively depends. For example, he may be in the process of building his audience for a future business, building a "personal brand" if you like, in which case it's absolutely what the vast majority of SM marketing people advise. I don't even have a personal IG account, mine is strictly business and yes, sometimes it involves posting random stuff couple of times a day

I'd find too many unsolicited selfies a turn-off, but agree with PP that his unwillingness to discuss past relationships is a bigger potential red flag. I wouldn't necessarily expect (or want) all the gory details, but I'd want to feel he was being completely honest about the bare bones facts of his past. Any hint that he was holding back would make me wary of him. I'd assume he'd had some particularly nasty breakups or couldn't keep a girlfriend/partner for long for some reason.

Edit: And if the answer is that he hasn't had any serious relationships, I'd expect him to just say so, after we'd been dating for a while. It's a bit unusual for a man that age to have had no relationships at all—especially if he's handsome, otherwise 'successful', and the type to take tons of selfies—so I can see why he might be embarrassed to say so, but it has to come out eventually.

@Attelina I got the ick just reading your post, urgh 😆

my ex started doing this, it’s like a need for validation or something. When he escalated to gym selfies I got the ick in a big way