Long term partner and I have never seen this side of him before.
I think there are 2 main ways people deal with stress (or challenges as I like to call it..). They either become overwhelmed and paralysed by it or is motivating. He is a head under the blanket kind of person when something is stressful and I find it motivating. We are just different which is fine. He is much more of a detail person than I am, I just rush into stuff. So we both have our pros and cons, neither is right or wrong. I am often too busy to have time to sulk or hold grudges if something needs doing just do it and move on but I don’t always do a great job of something he would do better as he puts more time and detail into it.
We are saving up for a big project. I have been motivated by the challenge to get a lot done, bring in extra money, clear space. He keeps putting his head in his hands and saying he feels stressed.
Along the way I also have all my usual jobs to do, and yesterday I asked him to provide me with one small piece of information so I could attempt to repair something. Many hours passed and he did not give me the info, so I went and found it myself and when we were discussing our plans for today, I said I planned to attempt the repair today. He went into a mood about it that he felt I was essentially insinuating that he was useless and I was making him feel small that I was working harder than him and he is a man and he should be providing equally. I said I have no motivation to make someone feel bad or useless.
It’s made me wonder though if I come across as thinking I am superior to him because I am so much more proactive. Am I unintentionally emasculating him?