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AIBU?

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Original poster

A diagnosis one

280 replies

CarGoat · 27/10/2024 09:18

Ok, I know diagnosis etc.. has been discussed to death on Mumsnet, but ...

Recently I have come to realise that in every single family I know (as in, families I'm friends with or know enough to have been to each others homes, kids have play dates etc...) there is a child with either an established diagnosis of ADHD or Autism, or there is a child undergoing assessment/on wait list for assessment.

The final realisation, (and I guess what prompted this thread) came when the mum of my child's best friend told me he has recently been diagnosed with autism. I have never seen any traits and had no idea. He's a lovely, well behaved kid, has loads of friends, interests, plays computer games with my DC, they hangout together, play games together, chat together,.do sport together. I understand there must be some difficulties his mum has observed which led to diagnosis etc.. it's just, he seems fine!

I then reflected on all DC's other mates and realised just how many either have a diagnosis of autism/ADHD or have siblings with this. My nephew is in the process of assessment for autism. My other nephew is also being considered for ADHD and has assessment coming up.

This is mad.

These children, while they may well meet criteria and I am not doubting that, they just don't seem much different to the average kid in terms of communication and behaviour etc... so all are relatively 'mild' in terms of presentation (i.e. autism is not of a level that's non verbal, the children have good peer relationships etc). I know people will tell me you don't thave levels like 'mild', but I'm not sure how else to explain it - just that the children all 'appear' perfectly fine. They just seem like normal, average, healthy children.

So ...

Is this just a quirk of where I live, in that in my village there just happen to be loads of children with ADHD and Autism, but this is not reflective of wider society?

Or

Is this reflective of wider society? Are the levels of diagnosis of these conditions now this prevalent?

And if the latter - shouldn't we make the criteria for diagnosis harder and just acknowledge that we are all a bit neurodiverse to some extent, and make adjustments to the schooling environment to account for that, rather than having to fund all these individual assessments and locate the problem in all these children?

I just think it's ridiculous to diagnose so so many children and if nearly every family has a family member with a diagnosis then surely the diagnoses are a bit redundant and meaningless?

(I know some people will not like this post, sorry. I am putting on my hard hat)

OP posts:
GazeboLantern · 27/10/2024 09:52

mimblewimble · 27/10/2024 09:49

The useful point to pick out from your post, OP, is that we should make adjustments to the schooling environment to make it work better for neurodivergent kids. Because that would benefit all kids.

Investing in education - smaller class sizes, smaller schools, less exam pressure, better conditions for teachers as a starting point - would probably prevent quite a few ND kids from experiencing the difficulties in school that they often do. And would probably save councils money in the long run.

I'm not getting dragged into discussion about your other points, sorry.

Edited

This. Perfect summary.

Bowlofhotslop · 27/10/2024 09:50

You’re going to get loads of angry responses but I do agree with you in some respects. If there are children doing well educationally and socially, seemingly not ‘held back’ in any way it seems unfair that they are on the same waiting lists, potentially ahead of others who are severely affected by their condition, non-verbal, harmful behaviour etc and unable to attend school without significant support.
Not that any of that is the children or families’ fault or responsibility.

mimblewimble · 27/10/2024 09:49

The useful point to pick out from your post, OP, is that we should make adjustments to the schooling environment to make it work better for neurodivergent kids. Because that would benefit all kids.

Investing in education - smaller class sizes, smaller schools, less exam pressure, better conditions for teachers as a starting point - would probably prevent quite a few ND kids from experiencing the difficulties in school that they often do. And would probably save councils money in the long run.

I'm not getting dragged into discussion about your other points, sorry.

BigManLittleDignity · 27/10/2024 09:35

Are you a newbie or a name changer? This is really goady, has been done to death and the faux innocence doesn’t really wash with many of us.

SausageinaBun · 27/10/2024 09:33

I have a child with mild ADHD. Getting a diagnosis is important as, without it, teachers have let her drift along and have been accepting of mediocre levels of work from her.

In primary school some of her teachers have got to know her well enough to know that she needs a bit of extra prompting to get going on her work and how to get the best out of her, but others have just found her inattentiveness irritating.

In secondary school, teachers won't get to know her as well, so having some written information about how to get the best out of her is important.

If you met her as a fellow parent, you probably wouldn't think she is neurodiverse. She isn't hyperactive or impulsive. Her attention seems fine in a 1:1 situation or when you're doing something she finds interesting. But that doesn't mean she doesn't have ADHD. That's why we don't ask fellow parents to diagnose neurodiversity.