Should I leave?

Tell your DS he comes first.
Buy your own home.
Leave.
Take your sofa with you.

The food bank thing has made me so sad. We certainly aren't well off, but every week in our shopping the kids choose one item each o donate to the food bank to help those who can't afford the basics. We've had weeks where we've had to say no to the kids to certain treats they want as we're watching the pennies, but still feel it's important to help out families who can never say yes to little extras. So to think the things we're choosing to help out families in need could be going towards someone who clearly has alot more disposable income than us really saddens me. I assumed our donations were for families who really needed a bit of help, and had been reffered to use the service. On this basis alone, I couldn't fathom staying with someone who has such little moral integrity that they can't comprehend how atrocious this is. He's effectively stealing food from families and children in poverty. I'd leave him for this alone, let alone everything else. The fact your son doesn't want to live with him speaks volumes. Listen to your child, and act.

How does anyone sell an "uncomfortable" secondhand sofa for £800? how does a working person get regular vouchers for food banks? (unless he's claiming benefit and working illegally).

What are you getting from this relationship? Your child is unhappy, you don't eat together, he's absent from family socials, he's a stingy bastard, just how good is the sex?

Leave him. ASAP.

Fucking hell. This is a no brainer OP. Sorry, but how can women be so…I dunno…in denial. Your son saying he’d rather live alone with you would be enough for me, even if you were living with the world’s nicest man. You sound like you are living with a fucking loser. Can mortgage free adults really get food from a food bank? It seems like a really odd setup, not a family. I feel for your 14 year lad who has to live with a disengaged bloke who eats gone off food and goes drinking for 10 hours.

Buy your own place, take your sofa and tell him to buy a new one with the £800. Or if he’s too tight, tell him there’s a half decent one in a lay-by off the local ring road. I would also contact the food bank and tell them that Mr Steve Collins of 14 Church Road, XXXX , XXXX earns £XX per annum, has no mortgage and £X savings in the bank.

ignoring the financial side - an average of £3.5k annually to house you and your son does not sound that unreasonable - your life sounds miserable, he sounds like a miserly twat, your DS is unhappy and it doesn't seem much of a partnership.

What do you gain by staying? You state that you are lonely and unhappy, and you are in the fortunate position that you can afford to buy your own home.

Are the Estate Agents in your area open today?

How exactly does a rich bloke use food banks when they require a referral?

Leave

He's using you as a source of income.. nice

Leave, take your sofa, all food and other stuff

My friend just sold her leather one for the same amount. It was an expensive well known brand. So I am going to beg to differ.

Why would anyone want to maintain a relationship with a man who helps himself to food from food banks when he doesn’t need to, who treats their child badly, who won’t maintain a home to a basic standard and who drinks himself into a stupor all the time?

Leave. Doesn't mean you have to end the relationship, you can still be friends or whatever. But have your own home and invest in yours and DS future and present happiness

Ignoring everything else, the day your DS told you he is unhappy and wants to leave is the day you should have gone.

Go.

Leave. Be happy. Be free.

The food bank thing hit me first. Surely those are for desperate people and are given to by the generous. Get your own place and leave!

The most important sentence in your op.

“My son the other day said he wanted to live with just me.”

what are you waiting for?

My son the other day said he wanted to live with just me.

There's the main reason to support and answer your question.

Go.

Look at how your life will be in a few years if you stay and I think you’ve already made your mind up. The food bank is definitely a no from me, how is he getting vouchers. I think I would rather be single and happy in my own home with DS.

I’m pretty sure that the actual food banks need proof of low income/vouchers and they can’t give out expired food, it sounds more like picking up supermarket food waste, but I know that’s not the point.
Obviously neither you or your son are happy. You’re very lucky tobe able to buy your own place, just leave and be happy. It doesn’t sound like he’s adding much to your life.
If you’re lonely in a relationship, you can as well be lonely on your own without having to clean someone else’s mess. 😁

I cant believe this post because no one is able to sell a second hand sofa for £800. Load of nonsense.

If it is real then yes of course leave him.

What in God’s name is there to stay for? How does this man enhance your or your son’s life? Go already.

Listen to your child and go. For me saying that would be enough without the extreme cheapskate behaviour.

Well, obviously LEAVE!

There's no real relationship is there. You're just a lodger. There's no talk of affection between you, no feelings whatsoever.

Go get your own place with your son and start LIVING

And.... I would be totally put off him due to the use of food banks.