Children on phones/iPads in restaurabts

Are people really this judgey? I’m surprised. Dismayed a little too. For me, if I’ve no idea how the parents had interacted throughout the day, the children involved and their needs, I can’t imagine sitting judging people,like this.

i would judge a parent who didn’t interact, scrolled on their own phone etc leaving their own kid to entertain themselves as a regular occurrence, but I’d not judge anyone on a snapshot of a meal on holiday.

plus screens can be very educational and good for kids, from the games they play, the art they do, to the reading. Managed correctly I think they are great for children,

Exactly

@LameBorzoi ageee with this.

I have just returned from holiday - short haul flight with TUI about 4.5 hours. With my 2 yo. He had a pad/ tablet on the flight and the lady sat next to us was disgusted he was on a screen. But what the fuck am I supposed to do? Be the nightmare parent / child on the flight with him kicking off and screaming? He is 2 - he is utterly unreasonable and you cannot prevent tantrums / screaming / kicking off. Anyone that thinks you can obviously can’t remember what having a 2 yo is like.

you can’t even walk them up and down the plane anymore - the was no where to stand/ you’re not allowed in the galley area anymore and I got told off by cabin crew for walking him up and down the aisle - they want everyone to stay in their seats. Fine, but please tell me what else I’m supposed to do as a sticker book is not fucking cutting it and he’s more likely to lob crayons across the cabin than colour with them.

He isn’t my first child by the way, I just think this mantra of “colouring and a sticker book” is ridiculous and some people must have really easy children!

There are ways to keep kids quiet without screens

My parents in law usually have the family dinner in the house.

My brother in law took us to wetherspoons they have a quick turnaround. The 6 year old could barely sit for 10 mins while eating dinner.

My child is highly autistic and we often give them a phone or iPad in restaurants, we also read books, play with toys and talk to them. It depends on the environment/ situation. Every now and again I come across posts like this and my heart sinks as it feels like these people would like to exclude my child from parts of society. Please think about this when calling people 'lazy lazy parents' and some of the other comments that are on this thread. If I didn't have these options to help my child self regulate our world would become much smaller. Unless my child is wearing their ear defenders, or lanyard (which only serves to prevent ignorant people being unkind) you would not tell at first glance they have a disability.

Exactly. A sensible culture where children were allowed to play and make noise would make it easier, but when most people in the restaurant want quiet, screens are useful.

In my experience, it's very difficult going to a restaurant with children and best avoided unless you have friends or family who actually play with and talk with the children, rather than want the parents' attention while the parent is obviously having to attend to the children throughout the meal.

Children on screens in restaurants bothers me far less than the idea that the other diners are silently trying to work out if they're displaying the appropriate levels of autism before deciding whether or not to judge their parents.

The answer would be if my inlaws didn't insist on going to places the food takes ages to arrive when harvester will suit everyone fine

I don’t think it’s great for kids. Their concentration in general, their ability to develop the skills needed around self control in a public place, etc. I feel with 6 and 8 year olds we are still in training for this and go over ‘cafe rules’ each time before we sit down - they still struggle at times so I’d hate to think what they’d be like if we’d never trained them like that.

BUT. I’d never judge other parents doing what they need to to survive, and sometimes you just need some peace. I definitely use too much tv at home to get a break, or get jobs done, and that’s not great for my kids’ concentration or ability to amuse themselves in other ways. We all do the best we can.

You all don’t have a fucking idea about family’s circumstances. Sometimes even the best parents deserve a break. Take off your judgey pants and mind your own business if the sound is off.

OR

Perhaps the child struggles to sit at the table due to sensory processing/core instability/immaturity/undiagnosed neurodivergence and the parents have discovered that giving them a screen means that they (and wider family) can eat their dinner in peace.

This child is 6
In aware that my child is easier to control. But handing a device over isnt the answer

As long as the phone/screen is on silent or used with headphones, I couldn't care less about what folk at other tables are doing with it.

We have a 'no screens at the dinner table' rule but what other families do is none of my business as long as the sound is off, each to their own.

Tbh what bothers me more are super loud parents, so keen to show everyone how much fun they're having that they TALK AT FULL VOLUME THE WHOLE TIME, and periodically look around to catch your eye to see if you are impressed with how hilarious and fun their family is....ugh, did not one ever teach them about 'indoor voices' 🙄

What's wrong with colouring/drawing/card games?

Why are the options screaming children, running around or zombies?

It happens because there isn't space / permisssion for kids to be kids in English-speaking cultures.

There are places in the world where it's considered more acceptable for kids to make a bit of noise. When it's not ok for kids to make noise, parents resort to screens.

No one wants to take the screen off their kid, because they don't want to be "the noisy one" at the venue

It has nothing to do with emotional intelligence when it is so widespread, screens have become a de facto distraction and excuse for a lot of people. The sad reality is screen time for very young children is doing very little for their development and the results of this will reveal themselves in years to come as they grow into screen addicted teens and then young adults.

Screen addicted children are a public health issue on the same level as little children with rotten teeth because of sugary snacks and drinks, the difference is you don’t see the actual damage until it’s too late.

God have people got so little going on in their lives they have to constantly judge others?

When I was a young child in the early 90s, pre screens and we hardly ever ever ate out! If we did it would be a museum cafe or Macdonalds. The few times we went out for more formal extended family meals I'm sure my parents were a bit run ragged until we were old enough to sit and colour etc. I'm sure they'd have loved an ipad!

With DS who is three we only usually take him to cafes or wetherspoons at a push. Food arrives quickly so no need for screens.

I've given him a screen with the sound off eating out on holiday though. I'd rather be judged then ruin someone else's dinner. He's too little to do something like colouring for more than 5 mins and any games are likely to be quite noisy. Hoping he won't need this when he's older.

He does have a speech delay and it really upsets me people will think it's our parenting. We interact with him lots and give him lots of targeted support. Perhaps people need to think before they make blanket statements.

Whilst my children have tablets, when we eat out I would NEVER allow them to bring them. I don’t mind them having them at home, but not sat at a table.

I don't like it, but I've seen children sat reading books and everyone looks at them, but in a positive way. My dd would sit and read books on her kindle and I used to get a lot of scathing looks and the odd comment.

Yes it's good for children to be able to sit and have a conversation at a dinner table and maybe they do that at home. I would let my dc eat ice cream for breakfast on holiday if they wanted to, but wouldn't dream of doing that at home on a normal day. What I mean to say is each to their own.

Thrre are way to occupy kids at the table without screens

It’s a huge worry and I don’t agree with posters saying it’s none of their business. I think the damage this is doing to society in terms of young people’s development is really starting to show. Parents on screens and not engaging with their children is also having a huge impact. This is going to be a massive problem that it’s ‘everyone’s business’.
Obviously I’m not suggesting confronting parent’s in restaurants but I do wish people would realise how damaging all of this is.

You can do both...