Children on phones/iPads in restaurabts

You also grew up without internet and yet here you see posting on it? Allow yourself to be bored!

This really is the crux of this thread (and all others that have come before it)

If you don't have a calm but confident child who sits still and engages in meaningful conversation with adults whilst displaying excellent table manners then prepare to be torn to shreds.

From the stories I hear, I was the annoying(according to many people) kid , running around the place, befriending other kids (including kids that didn't speak the same language) and then all of us running around/playing together .

There'd be a hundred threads about that too.

@Errors

Kids behave differently at different ages. I wasn't alluding to running around a restaurant (that's an extreme example.) Instead, if kids are eg colouring they might exclaim when they're happy they've finished it, or if they drop a crayon or whatever. Some people don't like that. My children know how to behave in restaurants but kids rarely sit like statues and speak in whispers.

Also - how do you know if the child has special needs? You can’t generally tell from a glance. I think you need to stop being so judgemental of people you know nothing about and concentrate on your own behaviour.

YABU. Do you have young children?

We never allow the children devices at the table at home, or when we go out for a meal in the UK. But when we are on holiday it’s very different - we are suddenly expecting the children to eat out 2 or 3 times a day for 1-2 weeks. It’s a lot to ask of them. They are tired and cranky after a busy day swimming and playing and sightseeing. Their routine is all over the place. So yes, sometimes we resort to sticking a tablet on for our youngest (age 2) as it is the only way DH and I will get a chance to eat our own food.

My eldest, age 6, has exemplary table manners. Better than many adults. We are often complimented on them when we are out. So no, I don’t think we are causing any long - term harm.

You are seeing a snap-shot of a family during one moment on holiday. You can’t extrapolate from that how they might be managing things all the rest of the time.

Complaints if kids are on tablets....
Complaints if they're noisy....
Complaints if they're running around...
Complaints if they're singing...
Complaints if they're talking too loud....
Complaints if they're crying...
Parents can't win, whatever they do!

@AlllSeeingEye you do realise some babies cry more then others and socialisation is good for them. unfortunately my baby cries if he is an unfamiliar surrounding. that means to get him used to it i need to get him calm enough to actually get used to it

Why can't people make a point without swearing

The devices are causing them to be seen and not heard (as long as they have headphones)

I also said how to act in social settings. So that is conversation with family. Not rudely watching a device and ignoring everyone. I expect a 6 year old to be able to sit and have their dinner.

How would you know if they had special needs though? If they are autistic and they need the screen to keep calm. They're just going to look like any other child.

Also, you know what? If I'm on holiday, and I've spent all day with my kids, doing stuff with them, and in the evening I want some down time, with a glass of wine and dinner, and I know giving them screen will achieve that, why the fuck shouldn't I?

Why people are trying to justify it I don't know. We all grew up without screens at the table. If you can't do it with your kids, don't take them to a restaurant. It's the same when out in a pushchair.

Hard agree with all of this.

I let my kids have screens but only with zero volume.

Huh? Parents have been giving kids to do during meals for ever, restaurants even provide colouring stuff in some instances. Children don’t need to learn to be bored. It’s not the 1700s where they should be seen and not heard.

Do you have kids OP? Bit of a harsh judgement there…. We try not to allow the children phones when we are out (rare) but if the meal drags on for 4/5 hours…. Do you genuinely think an 6/7/8 year old is going to be able to sit and have a convo for that long?!

Yes it can, i disagree with screens at the dinner table. I managed without them, many people did in restaurants.

Children need to learn to be bored, how to act in social settings. I gave the example of my niece pestering people to finish their dinner 10 minutes into getting it. At 6 she should be able to sit at a table. Butbshe was given screens

It gets me too, hate it. Particularly toddlers still learning to talk. Parents need to be aware that it's the interaction with their dc that develops language and salt professionals know that some (not all) delays are down to parents simply not communicating often enough

I agree with you that it is concerning. Table manners one thing, but also instilling breaks from screen time. Even if only to be able to cope when there are periods of time without access such as their mobile or internet service provider having an outage.

Is it?

I don't give a shit if people are sat glued to their devices. More fool them.

What I can't stand is those who think the rest of us want to hear it. And then have the audacity to get annoyed when someone asks them to turn it down. "Oh but our Billy needs the sound on!!!!" BUY HEADPHONES.

Sounds dramatic but I have anxiety every time I'm in public now because of it. People just do not have consideration for others anymore.

i tried so hard to be screen free. in the end i put on the baby sensory video on my iphone for my baby so i could put him in his high chair for 5 minutes so i could feed the pets or take the diaper bin bag out. it meant i could get him into a high chair for 2 minutes if we are in a restaurant without him screaming the house down so i could pick something to eat as he absolutely refused to be out of mine or dh’s arms. some babies are easier then others. yes i guess some could say don’t take him out but then i think it is also nice for him to be included in father in laws birthday, or a meal before watching the night light event that was put on and we went as a family.

Surely mumsnet wouldn't exist if everyone only commented on things that were 'their business', it is a discussion forum after all

I have just returned from holiday - short haul flight with TUI about 4.5 hours. With my 2 yo. He had a pad/ tablet on the flight and the lady sat next to us was disgusted he was on a screen. But what the fuck am I supposed to do?

I dunno, maybe not take a toddler on a 4.5 hour flight?

It seems that parents are proritising their desires ahead of what's practical and fair to their young children.

Hmmm. Interesting. He is a very calm (but outgoing and confident child) maybe that’s just his personality

That takes years and years. For some kids, there is a lot of interrupted dinners while this happens.