Children on phones/iPads in restaurabts

I am a parent of an ND child.

And no, I do not let him sit on a tablet at the meal table or in a restaurant. I use other methods to keep him entertained. He's fine with that. I know his limits.

And if he couldn't manage to sit at a table without a screen to keep him quiet, then clearly being in a restaurant would not be in his best interests and I'd choose an activity/eating establishment more suited to him.

ND children have been around far longer than tablets and phones.

https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/children-virtual-autism/

I really couldn't care less. Spend your time enjoying your meal rather than judging other people.

I take books and stickers and other entertainment out with us for my toddler but sometimes she still gets bored waiting for food and I'll resort to YouTube. Sue me. People didn't used to do it because these things weren't readily available. And I won't stop enjoying meals in family friendly restaurants.

If you want to judge me as a lazy, useless parent crack on. It says more about you than me. All I'm trying to do is keep my child quiet so other people aren't disturbed.

would it be acceptable for the children to read at the table? not so long ago that would have been criticised too. oh these children reading at the table away in their own world ignoring everyone

And we're not talking about ND kids here, that's not the point of this thread...

But parents of ND children are included in the judgement, because generally the children don't have their diagnosis stapled to their foreheads for all to see.

We know we are judged. And sometime it hurts. This thread is very much about this.

The OP has said several times that’s not what she is referring to.
It’d be virtually impossible that every child you see that’s stuck in front of a screen has SEN seeing as it’s so ubiquitous

Or the child is neurodivergent and it’s the only way the parents can have a meal out?

Well they can win

You've picked lots of extremes

Many, many children can eat out without doing any of the things on your list

As long as they have headphones on it wouldn't bother me in the slightest

Touch victimy

Exactly!! There is a middle ground!

They are trying to justify it because they are defensive about it because they know it’s not great.

I agree that they need to learn to be bored. I can do a two hour car journey with my DC who is 6 and give them nothing to occupy themselves and they manage just fine. Looking out the window, talking to me or choosing the next song we listen to.

Most surprising thing on this thread is the number of posters who think the only possible alternative to kids glued to iPads like zombies is them running around, out of control, screaming.

Well, that’s patently not true is it because it is possible to have kids out in restaurants and for them to do none of these things.

Dont get me wrong, if a kid talks excitedly about the colouring in they are doing or accidentally drops something on the floor, the person judging that is being completely unreasonable.

But it is ENTIRELY possible to not have a kid glued to a screen and also not have a melt down about it.

As a customer when it comes to kids in restaurants, whatever you can do to keep them reasonably quiet and not running around the room, or generally causing a nuisance, i'm fine with.

I'm not really interested in what other people's kids are doing unless they're bothering me.

But why?
Restaurants have their custom, parents have their meal.
Parents could have hours to talk to their child on that day.
Many people in this thread interpet screens at the table as screens everywhere, but that's not automatically true.

And yes, I understand the difference between downtime during the meal and a family meal out when it is a designated main time to talk and be together. Both is ok.

Dinners out are quite long for children. We arrive and play games/colouring etc… then we have starters and DD has her main. She puts the napkin on her lap, uses her cutlery and is great for meals out. Then the meal is cleared away and she has some fruit for dessert while we eat our mains. She always finishes before us, at which time she’s restless, she’s only 2.5. At that point we give her 20 mins of something so we can finish our meal without any crying or shouting (which would make us leave).

Judge me all you like. I judge you for judging.

we have a 3yo and he doesn’t have devices at the table at home and often doesn’t when we eat out, however, sometimes, I would like to be able to have an adult conversation with my DP over a meal so we let him watch something on a phone either on mute or with headphones on. I’m really very comfortable with that regardless of the comments here. We engage with our LB almost constantly, we explain things to him, we give him new and varied experiences, we are teaching him new things all the time. He’s learning to read and write, he loves numbers and counting. We’ve got him workbooks to help him prepare for school and he sits at a table with us at home and uses a knife and fork. I’m not a lazy parent because I let me kid watch paw patrol while I eat a meal out with my DP occasionally 😂

Threads like this make me really sad. My son always has a device and headphones. He also has autism and ADHD. I do everything I can to give him as normal a life as possible and it breaks me to read so many posts from other parents, who haven't walked in my shoes, judging me as a lazy shit parent.

Exactly!

I'm child free and also a fan of minding my own business so I couldn't care less how other parents decide to manage their children in a restaurant setting. Personally quite grateful when kids are occupied by something rather than running around making noise and I can enjoy my meal in peace. I'm sure mum and dad also want 5 minutes to eat their own dinner after looking after their family all day.

I'm pretty sure if our parents had the option to give us a screen to shut us up and get some quiet time every now and then, they'd have jumped at the chance!