Children on phones/iPads in restaurabts

I don’t think most people want to sit through idle chit chat with a stranger while waiting for a medical appointment. This quite clearly isn’t new hence waiting rooms historically being full of newspapers and magazines.

This post says it all.
Probably better you stay with your head stuck in your phone.

DS didn't have screens at all when he was little, not even any tv before 2 - but I'd much rather people's kids were on screens than being as annoying as hell. By annoying as hell i mean running up and down the restaurant and screaming - even in a child friendly restaurant that isn't appropriate,

So it’s completely fine for you to stick your kids in front of a screen because it suits you or you need quiet time, screen time for cooking is fine but it’s totally different and horrible for parents to occasionally use it to eat dinner.
Some high horse that is!

Fair enough, I wouldn’t leave my 11mo or my 3yo with a babysitter. We don’t specifically go out for dinner with the kids (because I agree it’s not fun and a waste of money tbh), although we do sometimes eat out at the end of a day our, or more commonly it might be lunch.

Sometimes you do have to do stuff that's not their ideal activity - food shopping, running errands etc... that's just life.

But when it comes to choice, then I consider what everyone wants to do. If it's something I want to do but wouldn't appeal to them, I do it in my own time e.g. I pay for a babysitter, or DH babysits and I go out with friends, or go to a sports club.

If a child cannot sit in a restaurant without a screen to keep them quiet, then to me that's not enjoyable - I'd feel sad I had chosen an activity that they didn't want to engage in and would much rather do something that they'd like.

My kids do have screen time, but it's for when some "quiet time" is required, and they need to sit still for a bit and relax, or I need to perhaps cook dinner for them.

Indeed.

Smugly going around saying "oh, my kids never use tablets. They play with a hoop and a stick and get a satsuma every christmas in their stocking" doesn't make anyone a better parent than those who do let them play on an ipad from time to time.

It's a balance isn't it! It my child has not had any screen time all day because he has been in the pool playing and exercising all day then I'm happy for him to have it for a short period of time. But I do agree I think screens are often used too much. Last holiday I went on a child who was not yet walking was given a tablet for every meal time and then when sitting in the bar afterwards and anytime she was put in the pushchair.

I find it hard to balance, my niece is neurodiverse so they use tablets to keep her regulated during meal times so then my son asks why he can't have his (when out for a meal with them) then you would look at our table and see 2 kids both sat on their tablets. Although I'm lucky my son isnt too bothered and mostly choose to play with his travel Lego sets instead when we are in a pub.

Please don’t strike conversation with me if you bump into me at the opticians or anywhere else. What a rando

20 years ago people were sat reading magazines. Now it's a phone. What's the difference? I swear people have completely forgotten what things were actually like.

Well let’s hope you don’t get humbled

Talk to people. You can talk to people around you.
You see it everywhere heads down.

Very well said. Some people simply don't like kids. Fine. But parents also have a right to take kids out for a meal if we want to do so.

I've had the riot act read to me by a regular at our local, CHILD FRIENDLY pub, which welcomes little kids and big kids alike. I was told pubs aren't for kids. Someone should have told my parents this when they regularly took me into their local to meet up with friends or my grandparents!

Essentially it's nowt to do with other people. Obviously different if the parents were getting blotto and ignoring the kids, but that's a whole new issue.

what are you on about?
I used to read (magazines, newspapers, books) now i read what's on my phone (usually news, sometimes socials) or my kindle.

Where are these opticians where people were engaging in 18th century coffee house style discussions?

That's great for you and your child. Mine enjoys eating out, but finds aspects of the environment difficult. Screens have given him a tool to help regulate himself - in the past, he just wouldn't have been able access a restaurant, let alone enjoy it.

The paediatrican who diagnosed my son (at age 2) advised us not to let our world get too small. I won't apologise for using tools available in the the modern world to achieve this.

i used to always have a book with me. My mum carried a spare in case i finished it and got bored.

I couldn't care less as long as they're playing on silent or have headphones. If it gives parents a chance to eat a meal or have a drink and chat to their friends or partner, go for it.

My kiss are tweens/teenagers so use their phones...they have perfect table manners.

But what is wrong in your opinion with doing something that’s not 100 % in the best interests of your kids every now and then? Our lives revolve our children (quite rightly) our 3yo enjoys engaging activities all day every day, why can’t I (or anyone else) have a meal while our kid quietly watches a screen occasionally? The screen isn’t making him unhappy or upset, his behaviour doesn’t deteriorate, he doesn’t demand to watch it all the time and it’s occasional. What’s wrong with that? That’s a genuine question by the way.

I don't use screens at restaurants but we get so much grief from people when we take DC out. My DC will sit and colour and then want to tell us the story of their characters they've just coloured in. My DC talk quite loudly due to hearing issues and we remind them to talk a bit quieter but most meals we will have someone (it's always a man) either make rude comments about them which are made loudly so we can hear, shake their head regularly at me (never my dh) or come over and complain. These aren't high end establishments either, they are standard chain restaurants like Pizza Express.

I can understand why people resort to screens, not to placate their DC but to placate the adults!

As I said we do either or both. That to me is middle ground, no? I don't see the issue. 🤷

Read the thread. There is a middle ground between iPad and running around a restaurant that many parents seem to be able to achieve

I'd 100% rather see this than see kids running riot in a restaurant or anywhere public indoors That is intended to be a sitting down area serving food and drinks. Firstly it's dangerous for everyone and secondly people going out for a quiet drink/meal do not wish to be disturbed by noisy and unruly children. Sometimes my DD (7) uses an iPad for a while to play a silent colouring game, sometimes we chat and point out stuff. Either way it's not annoying or disturbing anyone else and we're all happy.

It's not just the kids it's the parents too.
I was in the opticians the other day, people sat waiting with their heads in their phones.
Why don't they engage with what's going on around them?

As special needs are often invisible, how do you know you are not refering to "special needs children"? (Bloody awful turn of phrase you used there)

You can’t say that someone isn’t a decent parent because they use screens. On occasion my children will have an iPad if we are at dinner because it’s unreasonable to expect a 3 year old to sit through a two hour dinner because quite honestly it’s boring for them and equally sometimes parents just need a break. That dinner could be the only time all day/week that child has been given a tablet but it’s ok for adults to need a break too. There could also be lots of other factors like SEN needs with the children or even the parent.

people need to work on being more supportive and less judgy of how other people parent