Children on phones/iPads in restaurabts

All kids struggle to sit quietly for over an hour

Nobody is expecting kids to sit quietly for an hour. Just not screech and shout and run around. It’s perfectly possible for them to do this without being attached to a screen

For those who can't wear headphones, can they not wear beanie hats with headphones built in them

And sound turned down low is as irritating as it turned up.

Headphones all the way

Distracting children so the adults can enjoy a meal and other dinners aren’t disturbed has always been a thing. All kids struggle to sit quietly for over an hour.

If you take children to Pizza Express or any other family friendly restaurant, a tub of crayons are quickly put on the table along with colouring/games sheets. I took my daughter for afternoon tea as a special treat at a very nice hotel in London, and the pack she was given to entertain herself was really nice and good quality. I suspect this was for the benefit of other patrons rather than for my daughter.

IPads and phones are just another version of this, a way to keep little minds occupied so the parents and other diners can enjoy the meal. If you are on the neighbouring table, don’t huff and puff, appreciate that you can enjoy your meal in relative peace.

I don't like tablets or phones at the table but for very young children, after finishing their meal, it can extend the time enough for the parents to enjoy a coffee.
My niece (14) is severely autistic and we couldn't go anywhere without her iPad. She won't tolerate earphones but the volume is very low (I can barely hear it sat at the same table). My own children never use phones/tablets at the table.

We are not allowed screens at our dinner table at home. However when we are abroad we are in the pool/on the beach with no screens. So when we go for dinner then I allow my children to have them so they can have a Bit of down time and I can talk
To my husband without being interrupted, like we have been all day. You have no idea what the remaining behind it all is.

Umm... hi, screen queen? What exactly was so funny about my post?

You have no idea what's going on in someone's life that means they may just want to be left alone, though. Why can't you just leave them be?

To me, it's common sense that someone waiting for a medical appointment could be nervous or scared and not in the mood to interact with a total stranger who happens to be sat nearby, but clearly common sense ain't all that common anymore!

you talk to people in medical waiting rooms? you're the one nobody wants to sit next to, aren't you?

Yep

😂

The thing is, children learn from a very young age. They learn table manners and the art of conversation. If your child associates eating out with a device, they will be unlikely to break the habit or even want to. In other words, they won't suddenly become a child that wants to sit nicely at the table and engage in conversation at the magic age of 6 or 7 or whatever.

Because they don't want to

HTH

Meh, their on holiday. Screen time is probably going to be more relaxed on holiday.

Even if not though, it isn’t something I can get worked up about. It’s a tool to keep them occupied at the table, just as colouring etc is.

Everyone can judge others, doesn’t mean they should go over and say that out loud, nor should anyone think they have the right to tell anyone else how to parent, but no point pretending that you’re not judging- it’s like the breast feeding issue, you’re being judged by other parents if you get out the formula bottle.
The phone use in families has become yet another thing to be judged on. I hate what phones have done to family life in general, so I feel sad I see all the family on their phones when they could be chatting or catching up (if they have busy lives) together over a meal.

👏

YANBU OP but this is MN where, even if you’ve seen that all the families in a restaurant are doing this for a 2 hour meal, it’s somehow only a snapshot of 20 minutes, the rest of the time their parenting involves no screens. Oh, and all of the kids involved will be ND and wearing headphones.

Meanwhile, in the real world, we have increasing calls for awareness from educators about the damage that excessive screen use is doing to more and more children.

I know which side I believe…

Devices have their time and place, but not at the dinner table or in shops etc.

My optician the other day saw our whole family (we all had appointments) sitting there reading books and said it's a really rare sight these days not to see a screen in sight when people are waiting. Lamented how screen are actively damaging children's eyes. I did point out that when I was young, it was reading that was said to do the same, but there is, apparently, far more eye movement involved and therefore reading is far better for eyesight than screen time.

Parents need to find other ways to entertain their children. Talking is a good start, in shops the children always got involved and in restaurants it was talking/ puzzles/ colouring. All of those lead to more socialisation than phones or tablets.

My eldest is now an adult, by the way, and very well-adjusted, so yes, I have lived through the whole teen experience without relenting.

Knowing what we do now about the effect of screens on the developing brain- I would not let my kids have screens until much older. My children were in high school before they got a tablet/ I phone. I am so grateful that they are that bit older so missed this experiment of giving very young children screens. We will look back horrified in about ten years that we let children have screens at a young age.

I think people will always judge on this topic and to be honest you have no right to judge other families. We have one DD who’s just turned 4 and she will colour, use a busy board, read books and we chat but there is only so much my active 4 year will do until that she becomes irritated in the seat. So we let her watch an iPad (not when eating)
but again who is anyone to judge what we do with do with OUR child. Our child is happy healthy polite and loves playing like any other child. So what’s the issue?

I always let my youngest have his iPad on holiday when we are having dinner, we would have spent the majority of the day swimming and doing activities with him. In the evening he wants chill time and so do DH and I

I have no problem saying that I am absolutely judging your parenting skills if I see ALL the family on their devices. There’s absolutely no reason why you’ve gone out for a meal together if you’re all just heads down on devices - stay at home, what’s the point otherwise? It’s really awful to see and honestly trying to justify it by saying you work hard- as though the rest of us don’t- so you’re too tired to talk to your kids when out together, is really crappy parenting, why are we pretending that it isn’t? But of course that’s not my business, but you do you.

90s kid.

When we were young and at dinners, we’d be taken outside to play by an adult in between courses. We’d also take colouring books.

I apologise but to me it’s laziness and easier than engaging with your child. You also have to be aware that dinner can’t last hours as children don’t have the patience.

I may seem judgemental, maybe I am, but I personally think a lot of parents don’t want to engage with their kids. At the supermarket even small babies have screens thrust in their face with Peppa Pig on.