Children on phones/iPads in restaurabts

Quite possibly, but screens are more likely to trigger dopamine release making them far more addictive

People really are falling over themselves to excuse it. In many cases, the very reasons people are using screens are exacerbated by excessive screen use!

Exactly

👏👏👏

A child can be just as engrossed in a book as the next child can be an iPad.

lol i was clapping the wit 👸

I do understand that but it depends. When we are at a restaurant, it isn't a rule, but my older 3 children who are 15, 15 and 12 know they shouldn't just sit there on their phones and not say a word. I don't mind them checking it occasionally while waiting for food but we are a close family and will enjoy talking regardless.

When they were little, we didn't even consider bringing iPads or tablets! I have a 6 year old who isn't allowed iPads or a tablet at restaurants either.

But I don't judge others. It can be nice to have a break and everyone parents differently and you don't know the situation. I also have a 9 year old who has anxiety and can get very overwhelmed. The only way to be able to let her enjoy her time in a busy restaurant is to let her watch a Youtube video on her iPad or let her plug in her headphones for music. It doesn't distract anybody else and it's how we work so I do not see a problem

Books and screens are not really comparable

I don’t think it’s fair to extrapolate what you see on holiday to every day life. I have four kids. We eat dinner as a family every night at the table, talk about our day etc. dinner lasts 30 mins then the younger kids go off to play while we clean up. If we go for an AI type holiday we would want to sit at the table for an hour or more enjoying a relaxed meal. There isn’t anywhere for younger kids to play and I don’t think it’s fair to expect them to sit at the table for ages so i think a screen with headphones while adults / teens chat is fine. Yes, I suppose it’s lazy parenting but is it not ok to be lazy on holiday? Ideally, I wouldn’t take under 5’s to a restaurant because even with colouring, stickers etc they don’t want to sit at the table for long and I don’t want to spend a fortune on a meal which I can’t enjoy because I’m being asked to read a book while I eat. But if you’re staying in a hotel with no cooking facilities the restaurant is unavoidable.

despite being allowed screens in restaurants (and on airplanes and in the car) on holidays my older kids are great conversationalists and are doing well academically so I don’t think this appalling piece of parenting has stunted their growth too badly.

Judging is not allowed but passive aggressive sarcasm is?

I'm with you, OP. Imagine you had fallen asleep 20 years ago and woke up today and so could see our obsession with phones as the madness it really is. If I were an artist I'd do a version of Hogarth's Gin Lane but with phones instead of gin.

I remember back in the 80s people pontificating about colouring in sheets and kids meals and how in their day you ate a small adult meal and sat quietly with your hands in your lap unless spoken to. This is just a new incarnation of the same thing.

@EilonwyWithRedGoldHair best Mum
of year award for the introduction of Mousehole Cat! Which will be tip of iceberg I know re: reading material ;)

I think it can be ok but it depends what has happened the rest of the day. My adult daughters literally never stop talking if we are having a day out together so sometimes we agree to having a timeout from each other when we grab a coffee. To outsiders we would look like we are ignoring each other and are obsessed with our phones but the reality is that it's just a part of a day full of laughter and conversation.

@TwinklyAmberOrca some kids will never be able to due to special needs do you think we should socially isolate these children forever excluding them from these events and essentially keeping them away from large family celebrations if they are a meal out? my grandmother took that approach with my uncle and i can tell you now it made that branch of the family lonely and in a insular

It makes me sad to see it, and I hope restaurants would consider banning it. It’s just such a sorry sight.
I work in education and behavioural needs are getting worse and attention spans shorter. Screens are not helping, loads of research has been done about fast paced shoes/ games.

Parents need to parent even when it’s hard.

The obvious point is to get food, not have to cook and everyone picking what they fancy.

Not every restaurant visit is a social occasion. If the group in question have spent the whole day out together, why couldn't they use the time to rest while waiting for the dinner?

The real necessity is eating.

In both cases, a screen is used to facilitate everyone being fed. There is no real difference between those two cases.

clap clap

It’s part of the human condition. You’re literally judging people for judging people so…

pisses me off that people think they are entitled to judge others

I don't understand your point. The two are totally different.

If I need to cook dinner I cannot have a child with ADHD/ASD around, as it's a huge health and safety risk, so I need him to do something that will absorb him (otherwise no one gets dinner).

Cooking a family meal is a necessity and HAS to be done. Going to a restaurant to eat is a luxury/fun activity and is optional.

I did that as a child, except I was reading a book rather than looking at a screen. Would hold on to the back of my mam's coat so I didn't get left behind.

We let DS use a phone/tablet sometimes in restaurants/cafés. Sometimes you need to go out when your child doesn't, sometimes food takes longer than expected to arrive. Always had the volume down though and we didn't ignore him, we'd talk to him about what he was doing. He particularly liked the Dipdap app and I remember him watching the Mousehole Cat in an Italian restaurant once with no sound as he knew the whole story.