To stop my 83 year old parents driving 200 miles on Christmas Eve

I, on the other hand, am 71 and have never had an accident in several decades of driving. I know my reflexes aren’t as sharp as they once were and drive accordingly. My girl racer days are behind me!

At the same time though, some do.

OP has mentioned that he’s an aggressive driver but he’s always been like that. I think it would be different if he had a bunch of recent accidents but OP doesn’t mention that so it seems that he hasn’t had any.

Let them, if they want too and feel comfortable. It's not really up to you anyway.

So when they turn up are you going to refuse them entrance?

But that's utterly irrelevant to the reality that some older drivers no longer have the reflexes or stamina to drive safely.

My mum has had 6 accidents in years, all with inanimate objects aside from one with a bulldozer (!)
She is mid 70s and unfit to drive. My dad has also had a couple of accidents and we have to constantly find excuses to not drive with them when we visit. It's scary.

I think the stats speak for themselves. The group with the highest accident rate is young male drivers, that’s reflected in their insurance premiums.

@BIossomtoes whilst I will defend this guys right to the hilt- it isn't strictly true I feel about young people and accidents- my police force relative is insistent that young people 'have' accidents. But more older drivers ( and I mean over 80s) cause accidents through driving beyond when they really are safe to do so

I think this could be a brilliant compromise especially if in a scenic spot/town etc.

Sorry OP, it's ok to be concerned and to voice this but I think you are being not only unreasonable but also disrespectful and patronising.

DF can decide how to live his own life.

This

@saraclara you don’t pay for driver’s return journeys. You pay a premium for Christmas day locally for us not so much outside. Definitely worth calling to ask for best prices snd exploring options here. Could well be a win win.

A good solution would be for them to be able to break up the journey if possible. The roads are hellish on Christmas Eve, which adds risk to all drivers but trains are also horrible. Could you offer to put them up in a Premier Inn halfway the night before?

200 miles is what, maybe a four hour drive? It'll definitely be tiring but I don't see how you can 'forbid' them.

I don't subscribe to this.

The older you get, you lose concentration and become tired quickly. Driving requires the ability to make decisions in split seconds.It's very different say driving a couple of miles to the nearest supermarket on a route you know well to driving for minimum 3 hours on a motorway.

Younger drivers have far more accidents than older ones.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/650f0694bf7c1a000dbb4624/image-1.svg

I agree with you OP especially when you mentioned the nature of DFs driving. Whilst a midweek Christmas may mean traffic being spread out, I still think a valid and loving concern.

Trains don't run on Christmas Day or Boxing Day so train is not an option.

Either they are safe to drive or they aren't the dvla doesn't have a "safe to drive unless it's 200 miles down the motorway" criteria. If you think they are unsafe to be driving there must be a way of reporting them somehow.

London to manchester (around 200 miles) would be £280 return each first class train, which would be slightly cheaper but they may still end up standing if it is busy and there is cancellations.

Of course - perhaps they could stay an extra day. The trains should run over Christmas though. It’s ridiculous that there is no service.

One of the instructors in my DHs local branch of IAM (Institute of Advanced Motoring) is in his 80s. He’ll be a far better driver than a great many half his age. Sure, there’s a number of elderly people who probably shouldn’t even be on the road, but it would be a mistake to assume all those in their 80s are even poor drivers, let alone dangerous ones. If your parent is regularly driving long distances without incident, then this doesn’t seem like a biggie tbh.

The language here is awful 'don't put them on a train' 'I would allow them' etc.

They're adults. If you have concerns discuss them like you'd discuss with any other adult. If you have concerns about their cognition/ mental capacity then that needs addressing separately (like any other adult).

It all feels very similar to 'I want to put my mum in a home and she doesn't want to'.

I wouldn't accept someone telling me that they're not letting me drive somewhere at my age (41). Not sure why I should accept it in another 40 years. I'd have a discussion about safety etc though and have done with colleagues about certain journeys- I haven't banned them from going but discussed why I feel bits are not safe.

What about offering to get them a hotel halfway (on the "there" or "back" element or both), meaning their drive time is reduced? Would that mean you were less worried?

I imagine there will be many Asian Uber drivers who don’t celebrate Xmas who’d be thrilled at such a fare 👍🏻

But I’ve just looked how much an Uber would cost to my late grandparents address (173 miles away) and it’s a minimum of £350. 👎🏻 I presume it would be a lot more on those dates.

Having said that it still may be cheaper than first class rail tickets for two 🤣

Agreed it would be silly money to get a taxi driver to do those journeys on two of the busiest days of the year.

It will be a local match at the football ground, not a televised game.

Boxing Day football is a big thing.