To stop my 83 year old parents driving 200 miles on Christmas Eve

Is there a car they can use at your house? Being 'stranded' / reliant on someone else for a lift isn't a great feeling.

Not sure what the issue is with watching football on Boxing Day but if they don't want to stay with you for more than two nights (? uncomfortable bed, shower they don't like, noise, temperature) they could go for a local hotel where they'd have a telly for football viewing.

Buy and post the train tickets to them. I understand your concern. There's no way a driver of 83 has the same reaction speed, eyesight, attention span etc, so a long journey like this is not a good idea. They are putting themselves and others at risk.

Why don't you go to him? Take the food with you and all pile into wherever he lives? Even if it's a tiny place, I'd put up with it to see my elderly parent for Christmas. You never know when it's going to be their last at this age

@BIossomtoes No I wasn't saying driving at all, was uncommon over 80 - my 80yr old mum is a fantastic driver. I was referring to PP's mid-80s parents driving to & around Spain & Ireland!

You can be a rubbish driver at 55 and/or a good driver at 83. His age is irrelevant, tbh. Most accidents happen close to home, so if you think he is unsafe then that's a whole separate issue.

But 200 miles isn't very far. If he has capacity and is reasonably competent, then he needs to be allowed to make his own decisions. And the trains are always f*cking awful at Xmas.

You can't be all "nanny-ish" with people, OP - think how much you'd hate it if someone treated you that way.

@TheKhakiBiscuit not thousands. Our local cab companies decimated by Uber & happy to do a reasonable deal with local customers. Anyway definitely worth a call to fully explore options.

@Needanewname42 they should call cab companies & explore, there may be a solution right there. Especially if split costs with sibling/s that are not hosting on Christmas day.

I don't think you get to choose how they travel. You can tell them how you feel, but to not let them visit unless they get the train feels mean. I understand that you're worried about them, but getting a train can be extremely tiring, inconvenient, etc. It may be that your dad hasn't lost any of the skills needed to drive well, but he or your mum might have age-related issues that make trains harder - walking issues, bladder problems, hearing issues, etc. They might also, justifiably, be worried about the crazy busyness of trains on Christmas Eve.
Ultimately, it's their choice. If you think your dad is actually not able to drive properly anymore, that's a different issue and you need to have that conversation instead.

You kinda do, that's what boundary charges are for.
A driver might agree a fixed price for going a distance rather than it being on the meter, but part of that fixed price will include the time it takes him to get back.

I think it must be really, really hard to admit you're no longer capable of driving.

For many people, driving = independence and to give that up means a) admitting they're not as capable and fit as they once were and b) knowing they're going to lose their freedom.

I remember when my granddad stopped driving in his early eighties due to his eyesight - my grandma never drove and his entire world shrunk overnight. He hated it.

Is it not a well known fact people become more stubborn with age?

Some do, some don’t. My mum didn’t, my dad did.

But the point is that she can't invite them for Christmas and then dictate how they travel there

They are now mid 70s so accidents are recent. My mum is adamant the accidents are not her fault and she's fine to drive. Those pesky bollards are so careless...

Is it not a well known fact people become more stubborn with age?

Does your DF want to watch the Football in person or on the TV? Could you arrange for him to watch it in TV at your house?

They don't want to stay an extra day - her dad wants to get back for the football.

As would have said my parents aged 71

Would they? I doubt it if someone is continuing to drive in the wake of six accidents, one of them involving a bulldozer!

As would have said my parents aged 71... things change fast as does self-awareness.
I'm glad you're doing well and most likely you will be driving for years to come.
I do think driving tests should be retaken every 2 years or so from 75. Nobody is good at evaluating their own driving.

I regularly do a 230 mile journey, mostly on motorways. I rarely do it in less than 4 1/2 hours, or 5 hours if I have a coffee break. In fact I celebrate when I reach the end point if I do.

Your 3 1/2 hours is assuming doing 70mph most of the way on an empty road with no reduced speed limits for roadworks. On Christmas Eve?!

The last time that I did that journey, it took 8 hours, and that was a regular Sunday.

Personally I think that Christmas Eve may be pretty quiet this year with it being a Tuesday - many are likely to head off at the weekend. Perhaps you could persuade them to come on Monday.

Isn't it 200 miles - more like 3½ hours so less than half a day