To stop my 83 year old parents driving 200 miles on Christmas Eve

It's very easy if you read too many threads on elderly parents on here to think anyone over 78 has dementia or is in a care home- my FIL at 85 comes to use every6 weeks for 2 or 3 days , driving 170 miles each way- he's moving house in a few weeks too. He loves a party Too and fully has all his marbles. If your Dad feels that he wants to do and still a good and safe driver- then leave him too it

You can invite them but certainly not dictate how they travel to your house! Honestly I think an adult man in possession of a driving license is capable of driving. YABU and bloody rude

Boxing Day itself, no. Christmas Eve, yes, but they finish earlier than usual, will be crowded, and I wouldn't be surprised to see some "cancelled due to shortage of train crew". So if the solution was the train, they would have to travel home on the 27th.

you need to let them make their own decisions @BeGladHedgehog

My parents would have hated it if I had tried to decide for them, as would I

My mum is 82 and I wouldn't have any concern about her driving that distance. My MIL is 81 and I've been terrified of her driving since she was about 55. Is there a specific reason why you are concerned about your DPs?

As said above there is little chance of a train on Boxing Day. I’d try and get them to stay longer. I wouldn’t fancy that much driving in that short a time.

It's very hard as an outsider to opine here as age is but a number. What matters is if df has many accidents in his car normally, is prone to getting sleepy behind the wheel, and what sort of road these 200 miles will be on. We know your sister lives 60miles away on the motorway, so are the 200 miles on winding country roads? How long does the drive take? I would say as many others to have them stay a few more days to make it worth while, less tiring and to avoid the heaviest traffic. Certainly you shouldn't uninvited them though for Xmas by saying they must take a train. Instead, if you feel strongly the train is a good option on 24th and 26th Dec and you worry about your parents driving, maybe offer to take the train to them?

There are countless people of all ages who aren’t great drivers. I think many of the younger ones are at greatest risk on the roads.

Are there even trains on Boxing Day? I often fly in or out of Manchester Airport over Christmas and always have to avoid Boxing Day as there are no trains.

If he's a confident and capable driver and they're prepared to take it at a steady pace then I don't see you can stop them OP. I agree with PPs it depends entirely on them. Wouldn't be an issue at all for my 84 year old Great Aunt who is very healthy and independent, but would for other relatives much younger.

I think you’re infantilising your parents, op. Channel your inner ‘parent of teens’. The time they do their first long drive after passing their test. You have to feel the fear, and let them do it anyway!

Same for every good driver of any age 🤷‍♂️

And 20 or 30 that aren’t.

They are adults leave them alone

I would frame it as you worry about the other drivers on the road and you want to be sure they’re safe.

Here you go @BeGladHedgehog

Of course it bloody is, telling a grown adult they're not allowed to drive and will have to take the train or they're not allowed to come to the OP's for Christmas.

He's probably been driving longer than she's been alive, and if he still feels completely confident that's up to him.

My FIL was driving well into his 80's and my MIL is still driving at 90. She wouldn't do that journey now but it is her choice - I have just turned 50 and now won't drive far at night because of my vision and also hate motorway driving unless absolutely necessary as it now makes me a little nervous so I don't do it.

If they are happy to do it leave the to it - they probably won't get over 40 miles an hour on Christmas Eve anyway.

But as many of is have said, the alternative is worse. OP seems to think they can get a nice train ride instead. But the trains are worse then the roads on those dates. And as someone else had pointed out, there are no trains on Christmas day, and only a few on Boxing day.

Respectfully at 83 judgement can be slightly off. Add to that busy tiring driving in possibly bad weather / stressful conditions it is common sense to consider alternatives. Take it from one who knows.

You can tell them you are worried about them driving long distances, but you can't stop them doing it, and making an invitation contingent on certain conditions is quite infantilising. They should be having regular eye tests to make sure they are still fit to drive. Unless you have actually seen them driving badly, perhaps you should believe them when they say they are competent.

They’re amazing. They just refuse to accept they are aging.

My friend is in his early 30s, and he has to do the train journey to his family every Christmas Eve. It's always a nightmare. Last year he thought he was going to end up on the tracks due to the numbers on the platform, and stood all the way there, with his bags between his feet.

Trains on Boxing Day? No chance. We have a skeleton service at absolute best.