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Original poster

Anyone else experience a weak dad and wicked step mum growing up

34 replies

Youtookmehigher · 26/10/2024 21:56

Out of curiosity, did anyone else’s dad re-marry and have more children? Anyone else have to experience their dad doting on his younger children and you just getting the scraps of attention left? Or not being invited on their family holidays abroad, including Disney might I add! Or had an absolute ice queen of a step mum who basically made it clear that you were a nuisance for even existing and imposing on her perfect family every other weekend / 4 nights a month? Or has anyone had to sleep on a blow up bed while your younger and clearly more precious siblings sleep in their nice comfy beds in their beautiful bedrooms? Or the one that hits the most, watching your step mum and dad going all out on Xmas eve for your younger siblings with matching pjs and personalised stockings and plates for Santa, while you have to sit in your pjs from your mums just watching :(

anyone else experience this growing up , if so how did you turn out?

sat in alone tonight and stuck in my feelings,
I could write a book on how this has affected my whole entire life :(

OP posts:
Original poster
Youtookmehigher · 26/10/2024 22:49

I never stayed any longer in the school holidays , just the standard every other weekend. I remember I went to to a caravan with them and my dads whole
side of the family, and it fell on a weekend where I should have been at my mums, and my step mum said there wasn’t room for a 5th person in the car and I had to travel with my grandma, and then my step mum said to my dad (infront of me) that I needed to miss the next two weekends to make up for them having me one extra weekend! That was the only kind of holiday I had with them, a caravan, I was never invited on any of their abroad holidays and they even went to Disney and never invited me. My own mum could never afford those kind of holidays. I feel like my siblings had a much different life from mine

OP posts:
5128gap · 26/10/2024 22:49

I'm sorry your dad did wrong by you OP. Men can be incredibly weak and follow the path of least resistance. I hope you had a good relationship with your mum and she's still around.

ForeverPombear · 26/10/2024 22:48

My Dad remarried, he didn't go on to have any children with her but days after their wedding he disowned his children and has told us he has a new family now.

liverpudcounsel · 26/10/2024 22:47

Not a bad step mum but had a bad mum and weak dad. She had her golden child and the rest of us were emotionally and physically abused.
Fortunately as we had each other we have grown up into very close siblings as adults. I have looked back and really resented my father, not once did he step in and say anything, not once.

Original poster
Youtookmehigher · 26/10/2024 22:45

Rain11 · 26/10/2024 22:32

How long did you sleep in a blow-up bed at their house? How many bedrooms did they have? Did you have to share a bedroom with your siblings? Did you stay longer during the school holidays? Did you ever tell your dad how you felt?

Show quote history

it was a 3 bed house: so my dad and step mum in one bedroom then my 2 siblings had a room each. I slept on the blow up bed in one of their bedrooms. My step mum made is very very clear I would be in huge trouble if I disturbed either of them sleeping. I totally get that the children living in the house 100% of the time should have their own bedrooms but to not even have a decent bed or even a pull out i think is cruel to me.
as I got older and realised that it wasn’t normal to be treated that way and after my mum backing me up I did tell my dad how I felt. That’s when I realised that really my dad just couldn’t stand up to his wife and my step mum made it crystal clear that her children must come first to her and in their own house

OP posts:
Superfoodie123 · 26/10/2024 22:42

I didn't have this op. But your post made me feel really sad. I'm so sorry you experienced this. I don't understand how anyone can treat their children so differently

Rain11 · 26/10/2024 22:32

Youtookmehigher · 26/10/2024 21:56

Out of curiosity, did anyone else’s dad re-marry and have more children? Anyone else have to experience their dad doting on his younger children and you just getting the scraps of attention left? Or not being invited on their family holidays abroad, including Disney might I add! Or had an absolute ice queen of a step mum who basically made it clear that you were a nuisance for even existing and imposing on her perfect family every other weekend / 4 nights a month? Or has anyone had to sleep on a blow up bed while your younger and clearly more precious siblings sleep in their nice comfy beds in their beautiful bedrooms? Or the one that hits the most, watching your step mum and dad going all out on Xmas eve for your younger siblings with matching pjs and personalised stockings and plates for Santa, while you have to sit in your pjs from your mums just watching :(

anyone else experience this growing up , if so how did you turn out?

sat in alone tonight and stuck in my feelings,
I could write a book on how this has affected my whole entire life :(

How long did you sleep in a blow-up bed at their house? How many bedrooms did they have? Did you have to share a bedroom with your siblings? Did you stay longer during the school holidays? Did you ever tell your dad how you felt?

ilovepixie · 26/10/2024 22:17

I can understand the bed part. It's not your full time house and if there's no room for a bedroom then the child sleeping there full time should have a bedroom over someone sleeping there 4 nights a month. But the holidays and Christmas Eve behaviour wasn't nice.

SugarMiceInTheRain · 26/10/2024 22:07

Yes, I totally get this. My dad remarried and had another child, I always felt like that was his 'real family', from the age of 7 onwards. We were excluded from all the big holidays and the fun stuff. It still happens now - I asked if they were doing anything for his 70th birthday a few years back (would have loved to have celebrated with him) and was told no, nothing planned, only for my stepsisters and half sister to post pics of a family meal out to celebrate all over FB.

I have stopped asking or expecting and basically have resigned myself to seeing him twice a year and the odd phone call in between. He has really missed out on the opportunity to form decent relationships with half his grandchildren due to his weakness in this regard. The rejection hurts, and I feel for you, but increasingly as I get older I just feel angry rather than grieving for what I've missed out on.