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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Don't want to get married

33 replies

beauborino · 26/10/2024 20:01

Interested in some opinions here .Maybe AIBU .
Been together 7 years -live together get along fine -good life -shared goals .
Have achieved liots together .
Problem is -he wants to get married .
I have been married once before -cheated on ex stole 50k .
He had been married twice -says I am the one .
I don't want to marry again it means nothing to me .
Also worried that I have more money and property so got more to lose .
Female 57 ..AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
beauborino · 26/10/2024 20:16

User100000000000 · 26/10/2024 20:08

Does he know you cheated on your ex husband?

Sorry -ex cheated on me .

OP posts:
HoHoHoliday · 26/10/2024 20:16

If you don't want to get married then don't do it. But if your reason is that your previous marriage was bad then I'd say don't let the past affect your future.
If I'd been happily with someone for 7 years and marriage was important to them I think I'd do it for their sake.
Get a pre-nup agreement? That solves the issue of money and property.

Chasingsquirrels · 26/10/2024 20:12

I wouldn't, but just said that after H1 & I divorced and I did marry again (unfortunately DH2 died).
I'm female, early 50s, in another LTR for 7 years and planning to live together in the near future now my youngest has finished 6th form, I am pretty certain I won't be marrying a third time.

WrylyAmused · 26/10/2024 20:10

So at 57 you won't be having children together. What's his reason for wanting to get married?

Tend to agree, there's little reason from your side to marry in this situation.
And to be honest, "I don't want to" is a perfectly valid reason not to get married, and if he kept pushing it after you've said no, that would raise eyebrows and possibly flags for me.

He might be thinking about if one of you got sick etc, but you can deal with all that kind of thing with Lasting Powers of Attorney, so maybe if he has a specific concern there might be other ways you can address it without marriage. He should still respect your "no" though.

I'm similar, LTR but more assets and as we don't and won't have children together, it makes no sense to marry.

Birdscratch · 26/10/2024 20:09

I think she means her ex cheated on her and stole £50k.

Birdscratch · 26/10/2024 20:09

You being really sensible and protecting yourself financially. The odds of divorce increase for second marriages and increase more for third marriages.

User100000000000 · 26/10/2024 20:08

Does he know you cheated on your ex husband?

IdWantThatManInMyLifeboat · 26/10/2024 20:07

YANBU.
Having done it all twice before, why does he even want to get married? It does seem so meaningless.
I’m a similar age, but widowed rather than divorced, but I definitely won’t get married again. Everything I have was built up during my marriage to DH so it’s DC’s inheritance. I wouldn’t ever risk it by getting married.

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