Don't want to get married

OP in your situation I would not get married again.

I am divorced and although there's a way to go to settle the FCO I am a bit precious about what that agreement leaves me and I'm determined to hang onto it. Marriage would split my money again. I'd rather leave it to my daughter to be honest. Don't do it.

In your case one reason to get married would be to protect the other one from inheritance tax.

Do either of you have children? If so marriage could lead to a mess re inheritance. I would not consider marrying again under any circumstances for that reason. It's very different in a relationship where future children are planned.

YANBU at all! Marriage is a thing that should only happen if BOTH partners actively want it.

Have you given him a clear "no", and he still persists in asking, or are you looking for feedback before giving him an answer? A firm "no" is absolutely fine and he shouldn't persist after that; he needs to decide if he'll accept continuing the current status of the relationship or end it.

I would listen and try to understand his reasons for wanting to marry; if they're mostly practical or social there may be ways to accomplish them without marriage and move on together without this disconnect between you. If they're more philosophical, including religious or spiritual, he may be unable to get past them.

I know a 50 something guy about to approach his third or fourth marriage. He has five kids with three different mums.....Do think at this point it's time to accept that marriage isn't for him...

I don't blame you for your reservations. Whatever you do, make sure you protect your money.

I’m in the same boat. There’s no benefit to me whatsoever and I’d be risking my financial security and that of my child.

Honestly I wouldn’t.

I am in the same position. Long term relationship. Have a fair bit to lose in assets and pension so absolutely won’t be risking that.

Theres no upside.

Listen to your gut. Do what it’s telling you.
I bloody wish I had.

I wouldn't get married if you have a lot to lose, especially not to someone who has been married twice before.

I win the prize, I win the prize lol 😂

20+ years together now. Neither of us married before and neither of us has children either. We are both financially secure and see absolutely no point in marrying, other than to have to divorce ha ha!

In my 60s now, he is ten years older. We have made provision for each other in our wills, but the bulk will be going where each of us wants it to, not what the law says.

We each own our own properties outright. Oh and we do the Charles and Camilla trick also, living apart but sharing our houses regularly.

It's not for everyone, I know that, but it's what we are mutually very happy with and that's the important thing.

I’m with you OP. If you’ve got more assets than him you’ve got more to lose. Not worth risking at this stage of life.

What's the purpose of the marriage? If it's for a party for family and friends you could do a fluffy ceremony with pretty clothes and some non-binding vows.

I think I would want to know why he wants to get married, in your specific case what does it mean to him?

I would agree with you, absolutely no need to and like you say could possibly be to your detriment.

You say you have achieved a lot together, financially? If so a good will could sort that out.

On the other hand if it's a celebration type thing, I love this lady, is there a compromise to be had? A ceremony without the legal bit?

What's the wider set up? Children etc.

On what you have said I would not be legally marrying anyone but I would look to discuss its importance and why.

I’m guessing he wants access to your assets, but I’m cynical

No, at 57 there is little to be gained from marriage now and more to lose, especially if you have more assets. what are his reasons for a third marriage ( for him)?

No I think it’s fine to not want to get married.

But it may be a deal breaker for him.

Just be open and honest with him and see what he says.

YANBU I’d never marry again. Once was enough even although I love my dh.
Only get married if you want it and it’s not detrimental to your life or your children.

Has he said specifically why he would like to be married again?

I tend to agree with you on these facts - I wouldn’t either.

What has that got to do with the OPs question?

Did you report the theft?

I don't blame you, protect yourself & your assets - even if it appears /sounds like he is better off - it's too easy to lose hard earned assets in a 2nd marriage.

I married a 2nd time because we were planning on children, at my insistence we put in place a legal financial agreement.
Our solicitors made it very clear that pre-nups are not easily enforceable etc etc
We've been married 20 years now.

What are his reasons for wanting marriage? Is it cultural, religious, sentimental?

You could make a pre-nup agreement if you're worried about money.

A wedding needn't be costly. Suggest a water tight pre-nup, a brush up on your will to protect any kids you have and a half hour appointment at the local registry office to get married and see if he's still keen.

What would getting married achieve?