Page 6 | Mother in law wants to be in the bridal party

Dilligas72 · 2024-10-26T18:38:25+00:00

I am being unreasonable to tell my mother in law that she can't come to the hotel and get her hair and make up done with me, my mum and the bridesmaids. She's not shown any interest in any part of it up until this point.

ImagineImagine · 27/10/2024 20:25

i do agree with Shelby2020, as mother of groom I’d be doing as she suggested. But I’d love an hour or so out to have my hair and makeup done and a glass of champers with my future daughter in law.

ImagineImagine · 27/10/2024 20:21

she should be as much part of the wedding as your mum. No mum in law, no groom. What a shame it would be for her to be excluded, and this could be very damaging for your future relationship. I have 3 sons and a daughter. I would want to be as involved in my son’s weddings as my daughters.

Shelby2010 · 27/10/2024 20:17

Does she want to support you on your special day, or just want to muscle in on free hair & make-up?

Every wedding I’ve been involved with, the mother of the groom had been supporting her son. Mostly involving making a fried breakfast, to be fair, but being there for him. Her son. Suggest to her & DP that this is where she should be.

Lemondrizzle70 · 27/10/2024 20:11

diddl · 27/10/2024 20:01

Blame my son for what?

He's not married!

Show quote history

I wasn’t blaming anyone we didn’t really have much experience of wedding protocol so was told that was his it went. . He is kind fortunately

Brefugee · 27/10/2024 20:06

diddl · 27/10/2024 20:01

Blame my son for what?

He's not married!

Show quote history

sorry @diddl (love the name) that was for @Lemondrizzle70

BIossomtoes · 27/10/2024 20:01

tillytoodles1 · 26/10/2024 20:01

My daughter had us both, plus the bridesmaids for makeup and hair.
Why don't you want her there?

My stepdaughter did too. And me. She’s the kindest, most generous woman.

diddl · 27/10/2024 20:01

Brefugee · 27/10/2024 19:59

why don't you blame your son, @diddl ? it was his wedding, you are his mother. Why wasn't he kinder to you?

Blame my son for what?

He's not married!

Heidi2018 · 27/10/2024 20:00

Isabelizzy · 27/10/2024 19:18

Why is your mum invited and not her? Shes just as important as her. I don’t like all this unfairness towards the mother of a son yet mother of the daughter is often favoured. They’re both mums!!
unless there’s more to it.

I really really get on with my (future) MIL but sorry, she not as important to me as my mother. That's a ridiculous comment.

Brefugee · 27/10/2024 20:00

Jack80 · 27/10/2024 19:58

You have two choices: Let her join you or get someone to come to her room if she stays at the hotel etc or get someone to come to her home. Definitely don't be mean

her son could organise something instead of being the kind of selfish twat who leaves all that up to his partner?

Brefugee · 27/10/2024 19:59

why don't you blame your son, @diddl ? it was his wedding, you are his mother. Why wasn't he kinder to you?

Jack80 · 27/10/2024 19:58

You have two choices: Let her join you or get someone to come to her room if she stays at the hotel etc or get someone to come to her home. Definitely don't be mean

Lemondrizzle70 · 27/10/2024 19:56

The thing is most aren’t traditional weddings now anyway. I was not invited as a MIL but left to look after (well told) the grandchildren. I had paid for most of the wedding. However I held my head up and got on with it. Sadly as MIL you won’t win against some mothers and daughter especially as I’ve found.

diddl · 27/10/2024 19:54

Please remember this is her son getting married. It will be a big deal for her. It’s not all about you

Well it's certainly not all about MIL & what she wants is it as it's not her wedding day!

Perhaps her son needs to be the one remembering his mum on his wedding day!

Bloody hell-do women always have to think of other women that a man should be thinking of?

Mumtobabyhavoc · 27/10/2024 19:40

Isabelizzy · 27/10/2024 19:18

Why is your mum invited and not her? Shes just as important as her. I don’t like all this unfairness towards the mother of a son yet mother of the daughter is often favoured. They’re both mums!!
unless there’s more to it.

Why is your mum invited?

😂

Pipsquiggle · 27/10/2024 19:35

eyupcocker · 27/10/2024 19:30

Im stunned at how many people have said YANBU! I would have given anything for my mother in law to have been part of my bridal party. Sadly she passed away a few weeks after we booked our wedding. Please remember this is her son getting married. It will be a big deal for her. It’s not all about you

@eyupcocker I am very sorry about your MIL, her passing away at this time probably made it more emotional for all concerned.

I have been a bridesmaid 7 times and had my own wedding. Not once was a MIL present as the bride got ready - she had her bridesmaids and her family around her. The MILs were with their sons. It's not about excluding MIL - she should be with her family, helping them.

eyupcocker · 27/10/2024 19:30

Im stunned at how many people have said YANBU! I would have given anything for my mother in law to have been part of my bridal party. Sadly she passed away a few weeks after we booked our wedding. Please remember this is her son getting married. It will be a big deal for her. It’s not all about you

diddl · 27/10/2024 19:26

Why is your mum invited and not her?

Because Op doesn't want her there.

thepariscrimefiles · 27/10/2024 19:21

Isabelizzy · 27/10/2024 19:18

Why is your mum invited and not her? Shes just as important as her. I don’t like all this unfairness towards the mother of a son yet mother of the daughter is often favoured. They’re both mums!!
unless there’s more to it.

There is more to it. OP has been with her husband-to-be for 10 years and they have a child together. MIL hasn't bothered with them at all so why should she expect to be included in the bridal party when she has made no effort to build a relationship with her DIL or her grandson?

Brefugee · 27/10/2024 19:19

Isabelizzy · 27/10/2024 19:18

Why is your mum invited and not her? Shes just as important as her. I don’t like all this unfairness towards the mother of a son yet mother of the daughter is often favoured. They’re both mums!!
unless there’s more to it.

why can't her son include her?
This thread is fucking bizarre

thepariscrimefiles · 27/10/2024 19:18

Mosalahiwoukd · 27/10/2024 19:09

Just let her, why exclude???
Seems petty, and a small kindness like this can go a long way

Because her MIL hasn't bothered with her for the 10 years she's been with her partner. She isn't even bothered about her grandson and never visits, even when she's in the neighbourhood.

Isabelizzy · 27/10/2024 19:18

Why is your mum invited and not her? Shes just as important as her. I don’t like all this unfairness towards the mother of a son yet mother of the daughter is often favoured. They’re both mums!!
unless there’s more to it.

Brefugee · 27/10/2024 19:14

I know if my son was to get married I would be on the sidelines .And only there to see my son married . Only involved should the bride want me to be . That's how it is . Be kind

so why are MILs often "despised" here? because even when it is their own son's wedding, their DIL gets the blame when he does nothing with his mum.

Honestly, listen to yourselves some of you. How about asking the sons to "be kind" instead of constantly shoving that on women.

Brefugee · 27/10/2024 19:11

Mumtobabyhavoc · 27/10/2024 18:06

That's not the op's situation, though, is it?

Show quote history

well i feel bad for you, that your own son didn't think about your part in it.

But the MIL in this scenario sounds like a bit of a 'mare, tbh.

Brefugee · 27/10/2024 19:10

Offtheroof · 27/10/2024 11:08

Like I said @Brefugee , why be so unnecessarily mean?

Show quote history

like i said: I'm not being mean.
You need more resiliance if you think that saying someone not related to you need not be invited to your preparations on your wedding day is mean.

Mosalahiwoukd · 27/10/2024 19:09

Just let her, why exclude???
Seems petty, and a small kindness like this can go a long way