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Original poster

Mother in law wants to be in the bridal party

369 replies

Dilligas72 · 26/10/2024 19:38

I am being unreasonable to tell my mother in law that she can't come to the hotel and get her hair and make up done with me, my mum and the bridesmaids. She's not shown any interest in any part of it up until this point.

OP posts:
Everleybear · 26/10/2024 20:23

Each to their own, but I had my MIL up with us drinking prosecco and having her hair and make up done. I included her too when I went to get my wedding dress too as did my SIL. My MIL has been wonderful to me in welcoming to me to her family and it's the least I could do for her. She doesn't have daughters either and I thought it nice for her to be involved in the bridal part of it.

IkeaMeatballGravy · 26/10/2024 20:22

I'm guessing she doesn't have any daughters? If not it would be kind to let her experience getting the bride ready. I'm guessing your fiancee will be with his dad and best man so she will be on her own.

Nothatgingerpirate · 26/10/2024 20:21

MarnieRey · 26/10/2024 19:41

hate this modern trend of MILs muscling in on what's between you and your family/friends on your wedding day. I get on great with mine, would have hated this. YANBU at all.

This.

Maria1979 · 26/10/2024 20:21

Dilligas72 · 26/10/2024 19:38

I am being unreasonable to tell my mother in law that she can't come to the hotel and get her hair and make up done with me, my mum and the bridesmaids. She's not shown any interest in any part of it up until this point.

It depends: are you on good terms? Is your mum and Mil on good terms? If yes I would invite her. If not, no. But it's cheeky to invite oneself..

irregularegular · 26/10/2024 20:18

Seems a little unreasonable if your mum is going to be there. Unless she would really be annoying to have there, I would just let her join you.

Laiste · 26/10/2024 20:16

No, sorry. Mother of the groom isn't the bridal party - she's the groom (al?) party.

If i had a son i'd like to be with him the morning of his wedding, fussing over his suit ect.

I've been to lots of weddings and been married twice myself and parents of the groom are with him, helping get him calmly to the alter !

OutVileJelly1 · 26/10/2024 20:16

Whats your beef with your MIL?

elliejjtiny · 26/10/2024 20:15

It would be kind of you to say yes but I'm surprised she would want to. Surely she would want to be with her son?

LovelyDaaling · 26/10/2024 20:12

Perhaps she's tried not to be an interfering MIL to be and would have liked to have been more involved. Is part of you glad she wasn't involved? It's hard for a MIL to get the balance right. Would it be so hard for you to let her share this little bit of the build up?

Sugargliderwombat · 26/10/2024 20:12

So surprised by these replies! I'm with you OP the morning is for you and your absolute nearest and dearest. Who else would want to come sister in laws? Granny in laws? I've never known a MIL to be there the morning before the wedding.

Flopsythebunny · 26/10/2024 20:11

My DIL invited me to have my hair and make up done with her and her mother on the day of her wedding. It wasn't expected but it was a lovely thing for her to do

PerpetualPeppa · 26/10/2024 20:10

its your wedding day and if you MIL makes you feel uncomfortable or youre not that close then YANBU. you should feel at ease the entire day.

Abouttoblow · 26/10/2024 20:10

The more important question is why she doesn't want to spend that time with her son.
Parents should be with their own children before the wedding.

Livelovebehappy · 26/10/2024 20:10

Seriously? Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things? It’s just one extra person, who has mentioned it, so it’s clearly something she wants to do. Has she got daughters herself? Unless there is a backstory/drip feed, where your mil is awful and doesn’t get on with your mum/sisters, I think it would be unnecessarily harsh to refuse.

BarbaraHoward · 26/10/2024 20:06

Getting ready with you doesn't mean she's in the bridal party.

My MIL got her hair and makeup done with us on the morning of the wedding. I think they did her first so she could go be with DH. Are there any other women on DH's side for her to get ready with? I think it's quite sweet that she wants to be part of the excitement with you.

She'll be in your life for good now, raised your DH and will be your DC's grandmother if you have them. I don't see any point in saying no just for the sake of it.

Doggymummar · 26/10/2024 20:05

If you fiance's sisters are bridesmaids and brothers are groomsmen presumably she is alone. That's not nice. Invite her

Moonshiners · 26/10/2024 20:05

Personally I think life is short. Does it matter?

Lemonadeand · 26/10/2024 20:05

Mine used our hairdresser actually because she was travelling from far away and didnt have any local contacts. I offered though, she didn’t ask.

Whatsitreallylike · 26/10/2024 20:04

Ive always known it to be that bridal party get ready together and then MIL arrives a couple of hours before the ceremony to have hair and makeup done. That way it’s inclusive but not too intrusive IFSWIM.

purplebeansprouts · 26/10/2024 20:03

Bluevelvetsofa · 26/10/2024 19:52

Your MiL will be part of your family and you will be part of hers when you are married. Isn’t it a good idea to have both mothers together? Especially if you propose to have a positive MiL/DiL relationship.

She's not marrying the MIL though

Heidi2018 · 26/10/2024 20:03

No way!!! YANBU! Tell her you are extremely superstitious and don't want any in-laws to see you before you walk down the aisle 😝 I really get on with my MIL and I wouldn't let this happen.

Pipsquiggle · 26/10/2024 20:02

I will probably be shot down for this.
No. I wouldn't invite her unless you think it will cause you years of grief.
I have been a bridesmaid 7 times, not once has the MIL been there beforehand.
I liked my MIL (she died a few years ago), perfectly nice lady but had she attended the makeup/ hair session prior to the wedding, it would have completely changed the dynamic - all the shits and giggles stuff

tillytoodles1 · 26/10/2024 20:01

My daughter had us both, plus the bridesmaids for makeup and hair.
Why don't you want her there?

Kinneddar · 26/10/2024 20:01

PiggieWig · 26/10/2024 19:45

Who will be with the groom? If he’s with his best man/dad then it would be a shame for her to be alone.

Wouldn't she be with them too?

When my brother got married Mum & I got our hair done while my brother, Dad & BM went for a shave.

Then we had sandwiches and champagne and got ready, got photos taken then all headed to the ceremony together. I'd have thought it was really odd for my Mum to miss that to spend the morning with my SIL & her family

wiesowarum · 26/10/2024 20:00

Indianajet · 26/10/2024 19:43

Muscling in? I hate this trend of behaving as if MILs were always the enemy.

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Well said.

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