Mother in law wants to be in the bridal party

Absolutely. I’d want to spend the morning with my son!

Sounds to me like she just wants a free makeup and hair do.

Don't be so spiteful.

I don’t understand how weird people get about weddings. Surely this is time for close family relationships and friends as you prepare for a massive life change and starting a new family unit?? No, I don’t think MIL should be invited to this intimate experience. She should be with her own family.

I can't understand why people are voting that you're unreasonable! It's a time for you to be with your immediate family! Doesn't she want to be with her son that morning?

I didn't ask mine, we aren't that close (she's a bit of a narc, my DH keeps her at a safe distance) and I would not have felt comfortable with her there. I had my bridesmaid (close friend) and her wife. Another close friend helped me into my dress and another popped by later on. That was the way I wanted it as my mom was no longer with us and I don't have a sister, and no SIL at that stage. It was lovely.

Your title says she wants to join the bridal party but your post says she wants to come have her make up done with you, your bridal party and your mother.

Is you're mother part of the bridal party? Is MIL asking to be a bridesmaid or just join you with your mother to get her makeup done?

My brother is getting married next summer, we all get on soo well. My mother adores her and she adores my mother back. There is no way my mother would go to her on the morning of the wedding. we will do exactly what you did for your brother wedding. It’s memories for our family and she will have that special time leaving her own family home.

Unless there’s a whole backstory of how she’s been an absolute arsehole to you, then what is excluding her going to achieve? You’ll be spending what is supposed to be a wonderful day, in conflict with your mother in law. How will that benefit you? Will it improve your relationship with your partner?

I think it completely depends on the relationship you have and the one you wish to have post wedding.

Has she been respectful of you and your choices by not sticking her oar in?

If so, might this be kind and generous.
Honestly if she was a nice woman I would welcome her.

If she has been a pain, then definitely NO.

Of course you are not being unreasonable!

Your not-yet-MIL, i.e. your fiancé's mother, IF she wants to be more closely involved on the morning of the wedding, should be fussing over her own son, preparing his hangover cure, straightening his tie, and getting glammed up with her own family and friends, before the formal union with you and your family.

Could all the sentimentalist wedding-fetishising MNetters PLEASE think through the consent implications of having the groom's mother present among the bride's attendants on the wedding morning!

What if the bride is having second thoughts? It's hard enough for the prospective bride or groom to have the space, find the wise counsel, and give themselves permission to back out as it is!

Not to mention, not-yet-MIL's own child might appreciate some last-minute support and counsel himself! FFS. Boundaries.

Seems a bit odd to me.
I wouldn't want to be with my DiL2B on the morning of the wedding, much as I love her and we very much get on. That is her time, with her girls (whoever she wants to include in that). My 'job' if you like is to support my ds with whatever last minute emergency arises, or just enjoy the day.

If there is a history between you, or if she is a super-strong (i.e. dominating) personality, then that may merit excluding her, but otherwise let her be with ther girls on the big day.

I know it is her son getting married, not her daughter, but it's still a big day for her and she probably feels a bit left out by all the man-stuff going on on her side of the wedding party.

But only if you think she would be supportive of you on the day. If she's the type of MIL who will turn up on the day with photos of his last girlfriend, or comment that its a shame you couldn't lose a few more pounds to really fit the dress, then leave her out.

Not getting a corsage was mean, but really if the bride just wants to have the getting ready with her friends and family in line with tradition they are entitled to this. When both my daughters got married, they just had their bridesmaids in the room with them. My husband and I were in the next room in the hotel getting ready and the hairdresser came in to do my hair. This was fine by me. I don’t have to be in the limelight on somebody else’s day.

Assuming she isnt staying at the hotel. Id arrange for someone to go to hers to do her hair and make up.

I didn’t think about inviting my MIL to morning of the wedding to be honest… we don’t really get on so I think it would’ve changed the atmosphere.
I think if you get on with her it would be a kind thing to do.

Absolutely not. It’s a time for the bride and her own family and friends to spend the morning together.

And I say that as the mum of 2 sons, no daughters. There’s no way I’d expect to be invited to join the bridal party on the morning of the wedding.

She's not your MIL until after the wedding, if that helps?

Surely she's with her son. Does your dad go to the groom's house? This sounds so weird to me.

It depends on the relationship you currently have and how you want to move forward. Obviously I am assuming there is no back story but for what it’s worth, if she is a nice person I would have her there.
I have a really good relationship with my MIL now and my in laws and parents get on well. I paid for a large house in the Lake District for a holiday this year and both my family and husbands family came down together and it was a lovely week for my DD to remember. We got there by fostering a good relationship that benefits us all, right from the beginning. And yes there have been some teething problems along the way, but that’s to be expected when you join families with different ideas and traditions to your own; it’s how you react to it that will change how your relationship develops.

Oh that’s not ok!
Why on earth didn’t you have corsages?? The whole wedding party should have them, and Mother and Father of the groom are absolutely part of the wedding party
I adored my MIL, and I would have happily had her with us when getting ready, but all my husbands family stayed the night before at the hotel we had the reception at, so they all got ready together

Omg why are so many people saying you are unreasonable. Her place is sorting herself out and being with her son. I have never in my life heard of MIL being with the bride on the morning of the wedding.

Unless you have some kind of issue with her on a personal level you are being mean!

Maybe she hasn’t seemed interested because she doesn’t want to intrude or push her own opinions on you. She’s your future husband mum, and you need to embrace her a bit I think.

I've never quite understood why so many people go along with rigid rules around weddings in the name of tradition. I'm generally quite a fan of upholding tradition but so much of the fuss around weddings seems unecessary.

DH and I spent the night before our wedding together (we lived togther so it seemed ridiculous to spend money on a hotel) and travelled to our wedding together too. Apparently this is bad luck or something but almost 25 years later it hasn't done us too much harm. I really can't see the problem of involving another person in the hair and make up stuff if it would make them happy.

It just wouldn't have entered my head to invite my MIL to get ready with us. I just wanted my bridesmaids with me to have a couple of drinks and be chilled.

As a bridesmaid I've never seen this either!